In those most difficult days, she replayed past events in her head countless times, and it was then that she finally knew regret. If only she had been braver, could the outcome have been different?
Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a pill for regret in this world, and even if time could be rewound, what could be changed?
The fate she was meant to escape remained inescapable; her sinful origins, her body, a topic so difficult to broach, and those relatives, disgusting as maggots, all constituted the deepest nightmare of her life.
How could someone as wretched as she deserved such a radiant young man.
When time truly rewound as she wished, she couldn’t forget the hate that cut to the bone, and this was the greatest significance of her rebirth.
Yet that young man once again entered her life.
She had sworn to keep him at arm’s length.
But she forgot, when fate arrived, there was no escaping it.
This time, she wanted to be brave. If she didn’t seize happiness with her own hands, how could she know its flavor—how could she willingly let go without having tasted it?
Love, sweet as honey yet as deadly as poison, brings both life and death, sweetness and sorrow...
But it’s more like a drug, once touched, it can never be relinquished.
The young man, his figure from the past life overlapping with the present, bit by bit invaded her entire mind, and once love had seeped into her bones, nothing but death could wrench him from her heart anymore.
She was always rational and calm, expertly navigating risks in surgery countless times; she was well aware of the troubles love could bring her, yet she watched herself step into the trap of love, marching into a known hell without looking back.
She was beyond saving.
She was even willing, for that person, for their future together, to risk the life she had regained with great difficulty, teetering on the brink of disaster with the slightest misstep.
Living with the memories of two lifetimes, she loved painfully, but every time she saw Yan Song’s face, she was reminded of his pained and resolute figure from the previous life, and she couldn’t help but feel her heart ache.
She bore everything, gave so much for him, yet he misunderstood her; that single phrase truly broke her heart.
Could it be that this was how he thought of her in his heart?
In her dreams, she returned to her past life, dreamt a lot, but there wasn’t a trace of sweetness in her memories, only hurt and pain.
Unconsciously, she shed many tears.
Yan Song stayed by her bedside, watching her pillow damp with tears, calling out for Brother Yan in her dreams, his heart ached unbearably as he clumsily wiped her tears away.
What exactly had she dreamt of, to be so distraught?
Or was it his words from last night that had hurt her after all...
Yun Ya slowly opened her eyes, feeling an unbearable sourness in them, her vision blurring. She struggled to see his face as it loomed large in front of her.
"Brother Yan, am I dreaming?" Her voice was so cautious, afraid that the dream would vanish at the slightest disturbance.
Yan Song, heart aching to the point he couldn’t breathe, smiled as he reached out to ruffle her hair.
"You’re not dreaming." He took her hand and placed it on his face. "Feel it, it’s still warm."
Yun Ya suddenly sat up, hugging him tightly, "Brother Yan, I thought you were angry and wouldn’t bother with me anymore."
Yan Song gently patted her back, speaking softly, "That won’t happen. I went too far last night. I promise you, I’ll never do that again."
Yun Ya held on tightly to his neck, her face buried in his shoulder, eyes closed, "How could you say such things about me? Miaomiao is my brother; in my eyes, he’s different from other men...."
"I know, I know all that. I was being petty. If Miaomiao is your brother, then he’s my brother too. From now on, we’ll take care of him together." Yan Song gave in, seeing her tears; he compromised unconditionally.
"You left without listening to my explanation. Do you really have such twisted thoughts about me and Miaomiao in your heart? Brother Yan, please answer me directly. If you can’t eliminate the doubts in your heart, it will become a ticking time bomb between us. I don’t want there to be a rift between us."
Yan Song sighed, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her away from his embrace, gazing into her eyes with an intense look, his dark and deep eyes seemingly suppressing a multitude of emotions, making Yun Ya’s heart skip violently.
She almost panickedly averted her gaze but was forcibly made to look into Yan Song’s eyes by the hand on her chin.
"Any normal man would have misunderstood hearing you speak like that. I’m also a man, and one with a particularly small heart at that. I was indeed very angry; in this world, no one but me—you can’t look at another man’s body, even if he’s your brother by blood."