Chapter 80
I wonder if this is what it means for the blind to see, and at the same time, I feel exasperation at myself for having forgotten something so important.
I'm embarrassed that I told Erika I was serious about playing the role of husband in this farce in the Demonlands.
If that's the case, isn't there something that should be present but isn't?
What am I serious about? It's no wonder Erika might think that way.
I watched a man and woman exchanging rings surrounded by family, friends, and acquaintances in front of the Church, and I felt a certainty.
Claiming to be a married couple without giving a ring—there's no way to argue against doubts about my seriousness.
Erika is subtly pointing this out to me through her actions, without putting it into words.
That, in turn, can only mean that Erika believes in the seriousness of my words.
Truth—if you're serious, it should be conveyed even without words, right? I trembled at the trust Erika placed in me.
"Erika"
My voice turns serious under the weight of the kindness and trust shown to me.
"Yes?"
Erika, turning to face me, looks at my face and, for a fleeting moment, seems flustered.
Erika mutters in a low voice that my face is unfair, all of a sudden.
So, my face is unfair, huh? I feel dejected, but I push aside that small despair.
I've never held any hope for my face to begin with; it's too late now. But I'll cry about it later.
"First, an apology. Forgive me for being so dense."
"Dense... you say?"
In response to my apology, Erika pretends not to know what I'm apologizing for, ever so courteously.
"I swear I was serious, but my actions lacked that seriousness—or at the very least, it's understandable if you thought so."
"I don't understand what seriousness you think is being doubted, though?"
I smile and shake my head at Erika's kind words.
It's fine now; it's been conveyed. It's not a lie, but making Erika act unnecessarily any further weighs on my heart.
"It's about my fantasy, Erika."
"A story about an ideal, you mean?"
I nod to Erika as she tilts her head slightly.
"I was content just having my fantasy, Erika, by my side. I relied on coincidence and luck. I made excuses, saying that wishing for more luck would be greed."
My pitiful self-esteem lets out a scream at my own pathetic nature.
Even though I felt the hardship of standing beside Erika Solnzari so keenly in the forest of the Demonlands, and despite declaring I was serious about my role in this farce.
I, as a human, even forgot to give her a ring.
"Erika, you're right. I took for granted that my fantasy, Erika, was already by my side, and in truth, I hadn't even taken the first step."
Wouldn't a man making such a pathetic confession be discarded, even if needed for this farce? Pulled by that emotion, I end up taking Erika's hand.
Even so, even someone like me truly loves Erika—that alone, I beg you not to doubt, as I gently envelop her hand with both of mine.
"Pya!"
——Pya?
"In other words, I hadn't even stood at the starting line."
For some reason, Erika is flustered and panicking.
"I should have realized it myself, but I didn't notice until you kept looking at me as if you wanted to say something. Forgive me."
"Hoaa!"
——Hoaa?
"So, Erika——"
To stay by the side of my fantasy, Erika.
The pain in my chest tightens my throat.
"Let's part ways."
Erika Solnzari wavered.