But for us, someone who can make the choice to abandon, what right do they have to talk about hope?
I too have thought, even if he had come back on his own initiative in the end, even without a penny contribution, my sister and I would still have had a little hope. But he didn't, not until now.
Zhao Lianmai always cherished her words like gold, but now she voluntarily revealed the words she was most reluctant to say.
She looked at Yao Mingyue.
"So, for me, leaving without saying goodbye is the most irresponsible thought. Those who truly care about you, even though they know being together won't change the outcome, as long as they can spend time together, they still feel there is a glimmer of hope.
Isn't life all about living for that little bit of hope?"
Yao Mingyue breathed slowly, these words, Xu Musen had said something similar to her.
She coughed, covering her mouth, feeling a slight sweetness in her mouth…
Of course, she understood all these principles.
But, often the world doesn't give you the chance to reason.
She smiled, somewhat bitterly, looking at Zhao Lianmai, this girl once listed on her "Beware of the seductive vixen" list.
At this moment, however, she felt that she could perhaps share with her the things she least wanted to talk about.
"I… actually, have some problems with my heart, the chances of success for the surgery are at most fifty percent, it's really a matter of life or death…"
Yao Mingyue's words made Zhao Lianmai open her mouth slightly in surprise, not knowing what to say at the moment.
"Initially, I was indeed as you said: spoiled, willful, crazy... because I always thought that if my surgery succeeded, then he would definitely still be mine.
But then, I suddenly realized, what if I failed… If I were gone, and he foolishly fell in love with me again, with his stubborn nature, he would probably never move on, potentially wasting some girl who's always secretly loved him her whole life, my sins would be too great.
So, I suddenly thought, I... can't keep being selfish, just like Nuannuan once said, I love him, but I like seeing him love me more…
Because loving someone is about making them better off because they are with you, if being together only causes pain, then it's selfishness, I've been selfish my whole life, and have tasted the bitter fruit of selfishness."
Yao Mingyue spoke, tears vaguely glossing her eyes, she shook her head and smiled bitterly: "So, when I finally realized, when I saw that fool finally having a girl by his side he'd go all out to get engaged to, I actually felt a bit relieved…
At least, without me in his life, he could still have someone to accompany him through life, and finally, someone to go grey with."
Zhao Lianmai listened quietly, she took out a handkerchief and handed it to Yao Mingyue.
Yao Mingyue took it and gently squeezed it in her hands.
"I don't want to hide it from him, but I know him, I'm just afraid that because of my issues, it might jeopardize his relationship with her, I fear I might never be able to repay this debt of human kindness in my lifetime…
I am, after all, a spoiled, willful, crazy person, if I owe someone a favor, wouldn't that just suffocate me?"
Yao Mingyue laughed self-deprecatingly, tears twinkling in her eyes, making Zhao Lianmai feel a lump in her throat at the sight.
She wanted to comfort her, but didn't know what to say.
"These words, I suppose, cannot be said to Xu Musen that stubborn fool, nor to An Nuannuan, because as soon as Xu Musen asks her, she would definitely betray me."
Yao Mingyue wiped her eyes, a smile with tears shining through: "So, in the end, I realized I could only tell you."
"Why?" Zhao Lianmai looked at her.
"Because you also like him, but can restrain yourself from loving him."
Yao Mingyue also looked at her, seriously saying: "So, you're just right to keep my secret for me, and can help me properly convey these words to him in the future."
Zhao Lianmai's wheat-colored skin seemed even more radiant under the firelight, the secrets hidden within her heart so easily seen through by Yao Mingyue.
She took a deep breath.
"Should I take that as a compliment?" Yao Mingyue smiled.
Zhao Lianmai nodded after a moment: "I can promise you."
Yao Mingyue coughed again.
"But I still have to be upfront, I hope you recover, but I will always stand with An Nuannuan, if anyone ever makes my boss lady suffer in the future, I'd resign and fight it out to the end."
For the first time, Zhao Lianmai seriously spoke such childish words.
Yao Mingyue laughed, she also raised her pale neck, her pale cheeks under the firelight taking on a beautiful glow, similar to the twilight.
"That's good, if I really get better, I won't hold back either."
Competing for a husband, she was the best at it.
Inside the stove, the burning sound of the wood was like an invisible covenant.
The two girls looked at each other, slowly smiling.