The people around her all praised her.
Beautiful, wealthy family, endless brand-name clothes, endless luxury dresses and jewels...
But she herself never found anything good about herself, often living in helplessness.
So much so that in her past life, she frequently asked herself, "Why do I have to live like this, why do I struggle with all my might but still can’t escape the black hole inside me?"
There were also people around her who were jealous of her.
But she secretly envied others for having a complete family.
In her previous life, she was far from being able to openly accept her parents’ later families, treating those with no blood relation to her as family, and could never have harmoniously gotten along with her family and those around her as she does now.
Intimate relationships and interpersonal relationships were insoluble propositions in her life.
She could never find warmth and love in such a complex and large family environment.
The more she couldn’t accept, the more she couldn’t integrate, the more lonely she became.
In times of deep depression, she, too, like that deceased girl, thought, "Why was I born, is it true that only death can end the pain of this life?"
But she did not have the courage to die.
She feared, if the pain of this life doesn’t end, will the next life repeat such days again?
Someone said, "Pray to God, God can save you."
But this was another difficult journey.
So, what is the meaning of the existence of the soul and the body?
Later, she found the answer in faith:
"Prince Shakyamuni said, ’All who are born must suffer, even gods and Buddhas must endure trials, let alone mortals?’
Even without sowing bad seeds, and not reaping bad results, there are still many unintentional harms, unwilling separations, perhaps ten years of separation and vagueness, or perhaps mountains and waters never meet again.
What to do after the pain?
What if the pain never passes?
All you can do is constantly correct yourself and tell yourself that all the suffering encountered is like the grains of sand in a clam’s shell, a gift from heaven, a present for the future.
This is growth, enduring in pain, waiting, gathering courage, learning lessons.
Hope that as time passes, I will be left a gentler me, a better me, cracked but more resilient me."
Whatever calamities one has, there are accordingly fateful connections.
Constantly admitting mistakes, calibrating, standing up to walk again, this is growth.
Other than oneself, no one else can take one’s place.
But this is life, her life alone.
Fortunately, on this lengthy journey, she has reached this day of seeing the light again.
Just as Ning Youguang was immersed in her thoughts.
Over there, Ming Jinxin’s topic just happened to turn to her:
"Youyou, have you been busy at school lately?"
"It’s alright, the research project is nearing its end."
"That’s good." Ming Jinxin immediately smiled, "Here’s the thing, a friend of mine wants to ask you to do a case for his nephew, his nephew’s situation is relatively special, and he’s unwilling to see a psychologist, they reached out to me through inquiries, hoping you could help his nephew, if you’re willing to take the case, payment won’t be an issue."
"Doesn’t Youyou still have classes at school? You were so busy some time ago, take a break first." Ning Yi slightly frowned from the side and interjected.
Knowing he was concerned about her, Ning Youguang smiled at him, "Dad, I’m okay, I’ve rested well these past few days, and have a bit of time."
She turned her head and replied to Ming Jinxin, "Auntie, I need to first see the subject of the case, after seeing him I can decide whether to take the case."
"That’s how it should be." Ming Jinxin nodded, "Then when are you available, I’ll tell my friend."
"I’ll check my schedule later, if there are no big issues, I can go see him tomorrow afternoon."
"Okay, okay, let me know once you have confirmed the time."
...
There were classes the next morning.
That evening after dinner at home, Ning Youguang sat for a while, then drove back alone to her own place of residence—the single faculty dormitory arranged by the school for her at the beginning of the month.
This dormitory is part of the school’s faculty housing, less than 40 square meters, one room and one living room, with a kitchen and a private bathroom.
What Ning Youguang is most satisfied with is that because the dormitory assigned to her is on the first floor, it also comes with a small backyard, where there are various roses, hydrangeas, camellias, etc. that were planted by the former elderly professor and his spouse living there.
Once the flowers bloom, the scenery in the small yard is particularly beautiful.