"So, is it okay for a grown man to cry?" Xia Fanxing asked with a furrowed brow, "I always remember when I was a kid, if I cried, my dad would say, ’If you cry again, I’ll really hit you! I’m warning you!’ ’Xia Fanxing, why are you so useless?’ So every time I wanted to cry, I had to hold it in."
"That was when you were a child. Your dad used to handle the situation that way, but it only happened in your childhood. Look, you just cried for so long, did anyone scold you? Did anyone blame you? Your dad has passed away, so now you have the choice. For the present, you can choose to respect your feelings, or choose to live in the shadow of the past."
"That sounds a bit difficult." Xia Fanxing fidgeted on the chair.
"Yes, but you must make a choice, because it will have a profound and significant impact on your future life."
Xia Fanxing was taken aback by the seriousness and earnestness on Teacher Ning’s face.
His mind, however, quickly started to churn.
He repeatedly replayed the images of his dad in his mind, shouting loudly, intimidating, sharp in words...
Whenever he wanted to do something ’rebellious’, the image of his dad glaring and preaching would appear.
His dad’s harsh judgments and teachings in the past kept dominating his life like this.
"I feel that many times when I do something, it’s not because I truly want to do it, but because I’ve bought into others’ opinions. From childhood to adulthood, there’s always been someone pointing fingers at my life."
"So, if parents and those around them are harshly critical, children must learn how to cope with them. Once you choose not to accept their views and teach them how to treat you, they’ll adjust their behavior."
After a long time, Xia Fanxing hesitantly asked, "Teacher, I don’t know how to teach them how to treat me, because their power is stronger than mine."
"But as a child, you learned to comply with their wishes and grew up according to their demands."
"Isn’t that different?"
"What’s different about it?"
"It just is." Xia Fanxing couldn’t bring himself to meet the teacher’s eyes, which seemed to see through him.
"Do you think it’s easier to learn to comply with them than to comply with yourself?"
"..." Xia Fanxing fell silent, no longer avoiding.
After a while, he lowered his head and spoke slowly, "Besides complying with them, I’ve also habitually tried to please them, hoping they would praise me, be satisfied with me, and feel proud of me."
Sorrow surrounded him as he began to reflect on his past thoughts and actions: "So this is also why I used to enjoy being noticed, being high-profile, buying luxury goods, sports cars, and hosting gatherings with friends. I craved admiration and attention so much because I... was too lacking."
As Xia Fanxing bowed his head in self-reflection, Ning Youguang’s demeanor softened from the previous sharpness and became gentle and quiet.
She looked at the person across from her, who was engaged in self-analysis, with such gentle, understanding, and clear eyes.
After finishing his self-dissection, Xia Fanxing slowly raised his head and saw a silent support in Teacher Ning’s eyes.
His mind was still sluggish, but tears began to fall.
...
After finishing Xia Fanxing’s case, Ning Youguang took the opportunity to have a cup of tea.
While drinking tea, she casually checked Weibo and found that a Weibo user was just asking a question:
[A Lucky Lamb: Teacher, will everyone be loved?]
She gently placed the teacup on the desk and replied to the netizen’s question:
[An Ordinary Person: Love makes people feel gentle and brave, not aggrieved and compromising. Take care! @A Lucky Lamb]
...
After finishing the tea and checking Weibo,
Ning Youguang opened the laptop on her desk. She looked at the document that had been interrupted by Xia Fanxing’s visit.
"I also found that decisive primal trauma often originates from early disconnections..."
Taking a deep breath, she quickly entered work mode, her slender fingers quickly tapping on the keyboard as she resumed the unfinished work from before.
"This has always played a crucial role in primal therapy..."
When the work was finished, the clock in the upper right corner of the computer showed: Wednesday, 11:45.
It was nearing lunchtime.
She quickly reviewed the document once more. Finding no issues, she printed it out, organized it, put it into a file bag, then locked the office door, and left.
She needed to deliver the recently completed summary report to the teacher.
Professor Yu’s research institute was also at the University of Science and Technology of China, and walking from her office to the institute would require crossing the campus. The route was a bit long on foot.
So, after going downstairs, she used her phone to unlock a shared bike and began weaving through the campus.
...
The brief and beautiful spring in Beijing drifted by, and late spring subtly gave way to early summer.
The leaves in the campus of the University of Science and Technology of China were no longer tender green but began to turn deep green. Dandelion seeds filled the air, various kinds of azaleas bloomed vividly, and vibrant young men and women donned lighter clothes, creating picturesque scenery everywhere.
As Ning Youguang rode a bike across the campus, she swept through the crowd like a breeze, and many students who were just finishing school greeted her cheerfully:
"Oh my god, it’s Teacher Ning."
"Hello, Teacher Ning."
"Hello, Teacher."
"Hello, Goddess."
Many students quickly took out their phones to take photos and videos.
"Quickly, quickly, the way the goddess rides a bike is amazing."
"Got it, got it..."
"Oh my, my goddess rides a bike, it’s just like a movie scene coming to life."