"Xia Fanxing, some changes that arise during the consultation process may initially seem illogical, beyond your scope of understanding, and can make you feel scared. However, the very concepts that help you delve deeper into yourself are also the ones that can trigger intense resistance because many people are desperately protecting the ’self’; they confuse ’self’ with ’I’, fearing injury, criticism, and encountering the unknown.
It was Wednesday morning.
Xia Fanxing, full of questions and anticipation, arrived at Ning’s office but was quickly infuriated by some of Ning’s perspectives.
"Why?" Xia Fanxing did not understand.
"Because these concepts can easily disrupt our inner balance, but they’re also the most likely to lead you to deep transformation. The process of self-growth is inherently painful. I think you’ve felt this in recent consultations, haven’t you?"
Xia Fanxing felt enveloped in irritation.
Ning Youguang sensed his restlessness and patiently said, "The self we see is not always what we like. If you want the true self to become the self you like, you must undergo transformation in psyche, behavior, consciousness, and cognition. Each step requires you to put in arduous effort, provided you have the courage and determination to transform. So, Xia Fanxing, you have to understand that change doesn’t just come from a few case consultations and discussions with me. Most importantly, you must know what you’re doing and be very clear about why you’re doing it and the consequences you’ll have to bear. I can tell you that this isn’t a short-term process, nor is it something easy to achieve."
"This too is a path to profound insight." Xia Fanxing’s expression was calm.
"Indeed," Ning Youguang smiled. "I’m glad you understand. That’s why we strive together toward the same goal. Once achieved, you will be reborn."
For a long time, they sat silently facing each other, just like numerous times before.
Everything was spoken without words.
In Ning Youguang’s office, one could hear the pin drop in the quiet.
Xia Fanxing took several deep breaths, then was awakened by the sound of an unknown bird outside the window.
He slowly opened his eyes and said, "Can we continue?"
Ning Youguang said, "You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?"
Xia Fanxing looked at Ning Youguang and firmly said, "Yes, Teacher Ning, I’ve made up my mind. I hope, with your help, I can become the self I want."
After thinking it over, he added, "Also, Teacher Ning, I ask for your leniency. Sometimes I may not have the strength to accept many earth-shattering changes and new knowledge. So, during this process, I ask for your patience and help. Please don’t give up on me, okay?"
He took a deep breath, "I promise you too, no matter how painful, my desire to change is unwavering."
Understanding filled Ning Youguang’s clear eyes: "I know, I know. I’ve been through this too, and I can truly understand how you feel. Isn’t there a saying that without pain, there’s no gain?"
Xia Fanxing leaned back in the chair, relaxing his body a bit, "I’m tired of hearing that."
Ning Youguang said seriously, "Confusion is the first stage of learning. It signifies that the limitations of your existing knowledge have been broken, and you will face many new cognitions. These will constantly challenge your past thoughts and original knowledge, causing anxiety and confusion. But these are also your strengths, which will give you stronger motivation to change and unlock your creativity."
Xia Fanxing sighed deeply, "How could I have thought of that much? I just don’t want to be stagnant anymore; I want to be a little happier."
Ning Youguang laughed, "When you become yourself, how could you not be happy?"
...
When the consultation ended.
Ning Youguang said to Xia Fanxing, "Next, I need to go back to my hometown for a while. Let’s reschedule our next consultation."
Xia Fanxing slowly stood up, "Okay, we will contact each other via WeChat."
Ning Youguang saw him out, "Take good care of yourself at home."
Xia Fanxing turned back, "I know."