His face was gaunt and sallow, full of guilt.
Ning Youguang gently asked, "Do you often blame yourself at home?"
Little Qi nodded with tears in his eyes, "Yes, I feel like it’s my fault that dad and mom argue so much. When I was very young, they frequently quarreled. Mom often cried and told me that her health deteriorated because she gave birth to me, her back is bad and often hurts, but dad doesn’t understand her or care for her. She said dad is worse than a beast, fooling around outside..."
The child cried so hard he hiccupped, "If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t fight so fiercely. They would probably get divorced, but because of me, they can’t divorce since grandma and grandpa won’t allow it. I’m the cause of my parents’ arguments. If mom hadn’t given birth to me, she wouldn’t be suffering so much."
Ning Youguang continued asking, "Every time you vomit, do your parents stop fighting temporarily?"
The child nodded.
— This is the benefit that vomiting brings him.
Our subconscious is very cunning. When the weak have no other way to achieve their goals, they use illness to help them reach it.
Little Qi himself didn’t realize that his vomiting symptoms persisted because his subconscious didn’t want them to go away.
His subconscious was very aware: "Vomiting is a magic tool that can immediately make parents cease fighting. It’s especially useful."
Therefore, he used it again and again.
Ning Youguang asked, "Do you think your parents love you?"
Little Qi answered without hesitation, "Of course they love me, they love me very much, especially love me."
"Do you hope for your parents to divorce or not?" she continued.
This time, Little Qi quietly pondered for a long time.
Finally, he sighed deeply and said, "I used to very much not want them to divorce. I hoped for a complete family, I hoped mom and dad wouldn’t argue and could get along well, but now I actually think that divorce might not be so bad. Dad could be with someone he likes, and mom wouldn’t have to be sad every day because dad doesn’t come home often. Then, when dad does come home, she goes crazy scolding and arguing with him, which makes dad even less willing to come home. I think it’s better for them to split up. I no longer expect them to get along like other people’s parents and be there for me together."
Ning Youguang looked at the eleven or twelve-year-old child in front of her with a heavy heart.
On his face, amidst a slightly heavy expression, there was a weariness that comes with extreme disappointment, a numbness.
"In the past, did you do anything to stop your parents from fighting?" she softly asked.
"Yes." Little Qi nodded forcefully, "Weren’t my mom and dad loving towards me? Usually, they’d get me whatever I wanted, they would listen to what I said, and sometimes, when they’re happy, they’d celebrate with me. For example, if I got good grades at school or won some prize in a competition, or performed in some show, they would come to celebrate with me, cheer for me, smiling happily. So, I studied earnestly and participated in various activities and competitions. I hoped to make them happy and allow them to get along well together, but..."
"But, sometimes, even when you performed well, they still fought, didn’t they?"
"Yes." Little Qi was entirely drained, "In the past, hearing them argue really bothered me. Now, hearing them argue just makes me want to vomit." 1314