The business trip was quickly scheduled, and after all the procedures were handled, Cheng Su took the company’s technicians and Zhu Lifen on the train. Qi Taiguo did not come to see her off.
She must be angry, Cheng Su thought to herself.
The train rumbled forward, with Technician Zhu and Zhu Lifen sitting behind Cheng Su—playing poker with two other people across them—while Cheng Su remained by the window, watching the scenery flashing by, her chaotic thoughts seemingly calming down as well.
She reckoned that it was almost the end of March; in just a month or so, it would be a full year since she had returned to this era.
A year, not too fast yet not too slow, from initial bewilderment to eventual adaptation, she had become integrated into this world, its people, and its affairs.
Heaven seemed to have given her a cheat as if ensuring her return, and in under a year, she’d found love, made a career, and a few close friends.
But everything had gone too smoothly, so as much as she gained, she also lost some things, like her child.
All her discontent here had largely revolved around one person—her mother-in-law.
Her mother-in-law’s hostility towards her, aside from the age-old mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, was also influenced by Qi Taiguo. Her mother-in-law always saw her son as her own and regarded daughters-in-law as outsiders, so she felt justified in everything she did.
But was she herself without fault?
Haven’t I been indulgent?
Her forbearance was for Qi Taiguo’s sake because she loved him, so she respected his mother too and put up with her.
But this forbearance led to repeated disrespect, ultimately pushing her into an awkward position.
Cheng Su chuckled self-deprecatingly.
Qi Taiguo did love her, but he couldn’t abandon his role as a son; that was his own mother. And herself? Should she separate from the one who loved her because of an outsider, because of such displeasure?
Is this the only way?
If they separated, would everything be as she wished?
Not because the love had faded, but separated over an outsider while still harboring love—was it worth it?
With love and yearning in her heart, how could she be at ease once separated?
Cheng Su sighed deeply.
Suddenly, a scent of sandalwood wafted around her.
Cheng Su looked up to see an old monk in a red kasaya sitting opposite her. When he caught her gaze, he smiled gently and peacefully at her, his hands clasped together holding a shiny wooden Mala.
Cheng Su quickly pressed her hands together and nodded slightly in greeting.
After the greeting, the old monk closed his eyes again, mumbling scripture. Cheng Su did not quite understand it, but it sounded like texts from Tibetan Buddhism, which she had briefly encountered during a previous trip to Tibet.
With the soothing sound of the Buddhist chant, Cheng Su no longer gazed out the window but just watched the old monk and listened to the chant, her eyes gradually welling up with silent tears.
She thought of the child, and of Qi Taiguo.
Her heart ached and ached.
Is it that the more you cherish something, the harder it is to keep?
"Benefactor, what is lost will always come again. Parting is for the sake of the next reunion; why dwell on it?" The old monk, having seemingly sensed her thoughts, opened his eyes, smiled at her, and spoke.
Cheng Su, choked up, managed, "Master..."
"All things in this world are subject to the cycle of cause and effect; it’s not necessary to scrutinize them too closely. Benefactor, this life of yours, even if filled with suffering and hardships, is also due to your own desires. With patience, you will see the clear sky and the bright moon again. Benefactor, do not speak lightly of giving up!"
Cheng Su stared at him blankly, her mind buzzing.