“Lea, I discovered that I no longer have the right to call others selfish.” Gu Mengmeng leaned into Lea’s embrace, but kept her teary eyes on Chixuan. She sounded choked. “I have become a most detestable version of myself. Selfish and greedy. Unwilling to sacrifice myself but still forcing Chixuan to remain by my side…”
Gu Mengmeng wanted to laugh but ended up emitting a sob. “I feel like I have become one of those parents whom children detest the most. Judging the friends of my children based solely on my own opinions and forcing my kids to stop socializing with those whom I deem as ‘bad friends’. Not caring at all how important that ‘bad friend’ is to my child… am I a bad mother? Now that I think of it, it is right of Chixuan for not wanting to remain by my side… because I am a bad mother… sob sob…”
“Silly girl.” Lea gave a soft sigh and hugged Gu Mengmeng a bit more firmly. Only by doing so would he be able to assure her that she was not alone. She still had him.
Kissing away Gu Mengmeng’s tears, he said, “If you are really selfish, you won’t be feeling so bad now. Selfish people will find a million high-sounding reasons to justify their own self-serving means. They will turn their selfishness into a self-righteous crusade.”
Gu Mengmeng’s tears continued to trickle on in silence. She was not crying tragically, but every shudder of her shoulders made Lea’s heart ache tremendously.
In the past, whenever a female in the tribe cried and made a fuss, Lea would smirk and say something like “Just let her cry. She would stop crying if no one bothers about her. Don’t give her any attention.”
But now, he couldn’t bear to put Gu Mengmeng down and let her sit there crying alone.
“Xiao Meng, we all know you are doing this only because you love Chixuan. You are afraid that he will be in more danger if he remains by Cole’s side. You are just doing this for his own good.”
“For his own good… ha… in the end, the one who done the most harm to him is the person who claimed to be doing things for his own good.” Gu Mengmeng was crying agitatedly. She clutched Lea’s arm tightly. “Chixuan gave me a third option. As long as I am willing to sacrifice a little of myself, he is willing to come back…”
“I heard.” Lea said, “But you know very well that if you accept Cole, things between Elvis, Cole and I will not be settled until either of us dies. We will never allow any male to force himself upon you. Looking at the relationship between Chixuan and Cole, he would definitely help Cole. So, it will end up with me and Elvis killing Cole and Chixuan, or them killing us. No matter the outcome, it will definitely be worse than this, won’t it?”
Gu Mengmeng knew that Lea was purposely presenting the worst-case scenario to her, to absolve the guilt she was feeling.
If only she hadn’t inherited Snake’s thousand years’ worth memories, and if only she didn’t possess Wang Xiaoxin’s knowledge on psychology—she might have brightened up as Lea intended.
But…
Fate was a cruel thing. Take away the above two “if only”s and there could only be one result.
And that result was for her to go against Chixuan’s wishes and forcibly remove Cole from his life.
Gu Mengmeng didn’t say anything more. She just laid on Lea’s shoulder as her tears continued to fall.
Because of her guilt. And even more so, because her heart ached.
She would never forget the look on Chixuan’s face as he tried to resist her hypnotism.
He… hated her.
When Elvis and the three little ones returned, Gu Mengmeng had already cried herself to sleep in Lea’s arms. Outside, Elvis had already warned the three youngsters on what the situation might be like back home. So the children didn’t ask and just quietly sat beside Chixuan. They watched their unconscious brother with conflicted expressions.