Sophia's POV
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I smiled, looking at him. I wished he could laugh like this always.
Did he use to laugh with Abby? And I felt jealous with that thought because she got a chance to see that side of Brandon that I hadn’t seen yet, and there was a rare chance that I could see that side.
But soon, the realization hit him like lightning, and he stopped laughing and looked away.
*
After breakfast, I played with Caroline for a couple of hours until she got tired and slept again. I, too, laid down near her because I wasn’t sure that Brandon wanted me to see him near him because he had been busy avoiding me since the moment he opened his eyes this morning.
But it seemed like he wanted something else; he, too, walked into the room where I was lying near Caroline and laid down on the other side of the bed.
Great! He could ignore and avoid me whenever he wanted to, but I would do the same when he came to me, following me like a lost puppy. I quickly left the bed and arranged a pillow at my side so that Caroline wouldn’t end up falling from the bed in her sleep.
I had barely taken a few steps out of the room; he grabbed my arms and yanked me near him.
“Where are you going?” he demanded in a low tone, making sure that Caroline wouldn’t end up waking up.
“What’s your problem?” I asked, trying to snatch my arms from his grip, but he kept holding me tightly, hurting me unknowingly. Yes, unknowingly, because I knew he couldn’t think of hurting me intensionally. “You’ve been avoiding my gaze since morning, so I’m just giving you the space that you want.”
“I’m not able to maintain eye contact with you because whatever happened last night should not have happened.”
“And you’re regretting that, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I’m sorry..”
“Don’t speak a word right now because apologizing for the sex is an act of asshole after confessing that you didn’t want to stay away from me or you didn’t want to resist by giving the excuse of alcohol,” I said, cutting him in between. “What happened between us was something that we wanted deep down in our hearts, so it was not a mistake. At least not for me, and unlike you, I’m not regretting.”, I snapped.
“Fine! I won’t make apologies, but that changes the fact that whatever happened yesterday was wrong.”
“Wrong?”, I scoffed. “How’s that?”
“I was not… I wasn’t planning or intended to have sex with you. That was not my behavior. That.. that happened because of the alcohol.”, he said, shaking his head. His gesture was heartbreakingly endearing.
“Leave my arm, or I will literally knee you.”, I threatened, and immediately he left my hand.
“Why are you talking to me in this tone?”, He asked in confusion, totally startled by my anger. “When you’re not regretting anything, then why can I feel anger in tone and voice, and you are pissed too, which is quite rare!”
“You seriously have no idea what I’m pissed about?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not able t figure it out.”
“That’s because what suppose to be one of the best moments for me, you spoiled it by indicating that you’re regretting it.”, I said directly instead of wasting time playing GUESS OR IDENTIFY the reason behind my anger.
“I don’t understand how can sex with me is one of the best moments of your life? Have you forgotten the clause of the contract that…”
“Do the hell with the clause, Brandon. I know that very well, but now neither I want to leave you nor stop myself from falling in love with you.”
“WHAT?”
“You heard me, Brandon. And I’m positive that you might have remembered my confession from the last night. If not, then I don’t mind repeating over and over again that I love you, Brandon. I really do. I didn’t know how this happened and when but I have fallen in love with you, Brandon, and I don’t want to leave you even when the contracts end. And if I’m not wrong, then we have already broken two clauses of the contract, because of which the contract between us has already been revoked.”
I said such a long speech, but he didn’t say a word, just kept staring at me like a statue. He shook his head before speaking, “I’m not the right person to fall in love with, Sophia.”
“My heart knows whether you’re the right person or not. So, you don’t have to tell me that about that. Because I know you’re the best person, and any girl will be so lucky to have you in their life.”
He chuckled, “You’re saying so even without knowing anything about me.”
“I know you enough to fall for you and about your past… dad told me about Abby and….”
“Don’t… Don’t take her name from your mouth.”, he said, and out of the blue, his demeanor changed. He seemed irritated with the fact that I took her name. So, there was no doubt that he still loved her and he would always love her. He took a deep breath and then released it after a while, maybe to calm down. “Sophia, my past won’t allow me to love you.”
I nodded my head in an understanding way. “You might think me selfish by saying this, but I’m saying this for you; remember that every day is a new day, and you will never be able to find happiness if you don’t move on. One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal. Change is never easy.”
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#TBC