— He is right in front of me, yet, I dread touching him. He feels like a divine relic—one that I, a demon, am forbidden to taste. —
Zayden stopped, causing Ren to halt as well.
"Ren," he began, voice controlled, though it felt like his heart would burst out of his chest. He didn’t dare turn and look him in the eyes.
Not yet.
"Yes, Zayden?" Ren’s throat turned dry, his breath quickening. For some reason, Zayden’s long silence unsettled him.
"Do you like the winter?"
"Umm..." Ren hesitated, then shook his head as if Zayden could see him.
A soft chuckle left the General’s mouth, the faint white smoke seeping into the air.
"You know, I can’t see you," he said, finally turning. "But I know you. By heart."
What was there to hesitate for? Had he not already decided that the outcome mattered less than keeping these feelings buried until Ren’s whole life withered away before him?
He looked around—nothing was as he had imagined. He thought that, upon seeing this scene, Ren would smile and say, "How pretty." But if he did, he wouldn’t be the man Zayden had fallen for. The one who carried his emotions like they were nonexistent.
"Before meeting you, I thought fated mates were all mere myths," he said, stepping closer.
"And now?" Ren asked, remaining still.
Zayden chuckled, lowering his gaze. He had rehearsed this for so long—for days, even years—but now that he stood in front of this man, it felt as though a cat had got his tongue. The words disappeared into thin air, leaving him with fragments that made no sense—fragments that refused to be pieced together.
"I have no choice but to believe they were not myths."
Ren’s heart tightened.
Did Zayden find his fated mate?
Was that why he had brought him here—to tell him to leave with Eiran?
He forced himself to push away those dark thoughts. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this wasn’t what Zayden wanted to talk about. After all, if it were to cast him out, he wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of bringing him here.
Right. I shouldn’t assume anything.
He felt like he could finally breathe once those thoughts came to a stop.
"Why? Have you found your fated mate?"
Zayden’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected Ren to ask him that. He was the kind of man who rarely showed interest in him—until recently, that is. Until they had crossed the boundary between a lord and his servant.
He swallowed hard, a faint, "yes," leaving his mouth.
"O-Oh." Ren grimaced, his gaze dropping to the ice-covered lake. For some reason, his stomach twisted—and he couldn’t breathe. A sour taste filled his mouth when he was supposed to be happy for Zayden.
That was what friends were supposed to do, right?
"Is it... Enzo?" His voice cracked despite himself.
He nervously picked at his nails, closing his eyes tightly—afraid of the answer being yes. Regret overwhelmed him the moment the words left his mouth. He shouldn’t have asked. He didn’t want to know. Not anymore.
"What?" Zayden frowned, disbelief flashing across his face. "What are you talking about? I’m talking about you."
Ren froze, his breath caught in his throat.
"W-What?"
"Ren," Zayden stepped closer, his hands hovering before they finally rested on Ren’s shoulders—light, careful, as though afraid he might break something fragile. "For once, just listen."
"I always listen to you," Ren muttered, confused, his eyes flickering up to meet Zayden’s.
Zayden exhaled shakily, his forehead lowering until it brushed the curve of Ren’s neck. His voice came out low, strained.
"Why would you even think of someone else... when there’s only ever been one person it could be?"
Ren’s shoulders stiffened. He didn’t understand. Couldn’t. Or maybe he simply refused to.
Then Zayden whispered, so softly it almost vanished into the wind,
"You."
Ren blinked, slowly turning his head. Zayden’s face was close—too close—and the faint red colour on his cheeks made something in Ren’s chest twist painfully.
"It couldn’t have been anyone but you, Ren. I even prepared a poem for this moment..." Zayden let out a quiet, breathless laugh. "But I can’t remember a single line. My mind... everything is blank. All I can think of—all I want is you. I need you—I... I love you, damn it... I’ll give you anything... Just name it... But can you..." He paused. He couldn’t ask him—beg him to accept him, right? No matter how desperate he was... He couldn’t force anything on Ren.
The General’s voice was faint—almost a whisper. Yet, beneath it, Ren could sense the tremor in it.
"You know I suck at remembering things, right? You won’t take out points for that, right?" Even at a moment like this, Zayden couldn’t help but mask his vulnerability with a jest. Yet, he could sense that all his walls were slowly crumbling by the silence lingering in the air.
Ren said nothing—and Zayden already knew what was coming. He knew he was going to be rejected. But he hadn’t realized that love could hurt this much. That even before being refused, it could already hurt this deeply.
Still, there was a small, foolish hope clinging to the corner of his heart... wishing he was wrong.
Time passed, though neither of them moved. Ren’s mind went blank for what felt like forever. When he finally came to, he noticed the faint wetness seeping through his jacket—slowly soaking into his shirt.
"Are you... crying?" he asked quietly, his trembling hand reaching toward Zayden’s head, as if to push him away.
Zayden shook his head, though his arms only tightened around Ren’s waist, holding him as if letting go would make everything vanish.
Ren watched the tears slip down Zayden’s cheeks, then his jaw, falling onto his cloth again. His heart ached at the sight. He wanted to comfort him, but he had no idea how. What could he even say? Zayden thought Ren was his fated mate. That couldn’t be... He had one, and he was gone. Yet... he knew—Zayden also made his heart race in a way he never thought was possible.
With trembling fingers, Ren reached for Zayden’s cheeks, gently pushing him off his neck.
The General didn’t protest. He moved away, guided by the shaky hands against his skin. His vision blurred, and he could barely make out Ren’s expression.
Was it fury?
Zayden froze, his heart pounding.
He pushed me away... I’ve ruined it... Everything... He’s mad... What if he doesn’t want to see me anymore?...
He bit his lips, drawing a little blood from them.
"I... Please," He managed to say, panicked. "D-Don’t be mad—"
Ren’s hands pressed firmly against his chest, and Zayden flinched, bracing himself for a strike, a punch of anger, perhaps or rejection, just as he expected.
Now that he had wiped away the tears, his vision was clear. Instead of pulling away completely, Ren’s gaze softened, glimmering with something Zayden hadn’t dared hope for. Slowly, impossibly, Ren leaned in, capturing Zayden’s lips in a gentle kiss.
Zayden stopped breathing for a moment. He wanted to pull back, to apologize for making him feel like he had to do this, to give Ren space—but his body refused. His hands trembled, hovering near Ren’s waist, unsure whether to touch or retreat.