Chapter 39.
It was always a good idea to think before asking such questions. Shin knew it was a mistake immediately after he asked. Woojin seemed to be confused for a second, not even understanding what the question meant. Shin looked away, his body burning with embarrassment.
“…”
“I’ve never dated a man before.”
Woojin scratched his head a bit, looking confused. Shin had never seen this expression on him before, so he stared dumbfoundedly.
Today was his lucky day. He got to see so many different sides of Woojin and got to spend a lot of time with him.
Woojin looked at Shin and continued, “Or it’s more like I’ve never dated ANYONE before.” When Shin sighed, Woojin added, “It’s… a bit difficult to explain.”
Woojin had many dark days. Or had it all been dark days till now? The side he never wanted anyone to see… Those days he prayed would pass quickly…
Everyone had those days, and most would think they were alone in them.
And as one became older, it became easier to keep a safe distance with everyone. At least that’s how it was for Shin. All of his relationships, whether it was with a friend, co-workers, or lovers, were like that. No meaningful conversations. No significant feelings.
It felt like a circle, going around and around and never getting close to anyone. Always keeping the exact same distance.
Woojin continued, “I don’t really get the meaning of a ‘relationship.’”
It was the same for Shin Kim. He was constantly surrounded by people, yet he always felt lonely. To escape this seclusion, Shin knew he either had to get closer to someone. Or give it altogether.
Shin asked after a long silence, “Do you want to come to my house?” Woojin looked into his eyes. It was Shin who brought out the heat in Woojin’s eyes. Or perhaps it was Woojin himself who found it deep inside of him.
Falling for someone…. It wasn’t a matter of time. If it was with the right person, you just knew immediately. You would know when it was time.
To get closer.
Mind, heart, and body.
Woojin’s body began to burn.
When he nodded, Shin rubbed Woojin’s neck with his thumb and inhaled deeply.
***
Shin said to Woojin, “Please have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”
Woojin took off his jacket awkwardly and placed it on the sofa. He looked around the condo. It was a studio style and very spacious. However, there wasn’t that much furniture.
A stand mirror, desk, and a table. In the middle was a king-sized bed. All the furniture looked simple and modern, almost cold. They were made of either wood or black. In front of the mirror, there were a few exercise equipment.
Woojin asked, “Do you live alone?”
“Why? Are you worried that I’m living with somebody?” Shin asked with a smile as he made coffee. He was obviously joking, but Woojin still felt a little tense. He sat down quietly and kept his hands on his knees. Shin explained it might take a while till the room warmed up. He turned on the stove and continued, “I started to live alone when I turned… I think I was 21.”
“…”
“I tried to save up as much as possible ever since. Oh, I don’t own this place. I’m just renting it.”
Shin walked across the room to Woojin. The sofa wasn’t very big, so when they sat down together, their shoulders touched. When Woojin took a deep breath, Shin looked down at him and asked, “Anything else you want to know about me?”
“…”
“Because I have so much I want to know about Woojin Choi.”
Shin touched Woojin’s hands. The heat of Shin’s skin seared into Woojin’s hand, making him look away shyly.
Shin continued, “After I gave up swimming, my family was so worried. Too worried. I felt so uncomfortable around them that I left. My parents’ home is nearby.”
“…”
“I also don’t like noise. My sister was so loud and noisy that it felt good to move out and live alone.”
“Oh, you have a sister.”
When Woojin murmured, Shin looked down at him and asked, “Are you interested in my sister?”
“No.”
“Hmm… that was a very quick answer.”
Shin patted Woojin’s hair and added, “Very good.”
“…”
“And very quiet.”
“…”
What was he talking about? Woojin felt confused, so he looked up. Shin slowly leaned forward and touched Woojin’s cheek with his own. It tickled, so when Woojin cringed a little, Shin pulled his head closer with his hand and rubbed his cheek against his.
Shin whispered, “… And you are so sexy.”
Woojin’s hands shook. He pulled back a little, wanting to see Shin’s face, but Shin wouldn’t let him. Shin pulled him even closer, making Woojin breathless.
Shin whispered, “Do you know what it means when a man asks you to come to his home?”
“…”
“Didn’t anyone tell you to be wary in these situations?”
Shin’s hand moved underneath Woojin’s shirt. When he touched Woojin’s bare skin, Woojin trembled while Shin groaned. Shin mumbled, “You shouldn’t be so calm and obedient like this…”
“…”
Woojin tried to pull Shin towards him for a kiss, but instead, Shin bit Woojin’s neck. Woojin moaned, and Shin licked the bitemark It felt so… wet and hot that Woojin leaned back against the sofa.
Shin quickly went on top of Woojin. Their legs became entangled, making Woojin’s heart go wild. His doctor and his friends, and even Woojin himself thought he was asexual, but that was obviously not the case. His body felt so excited that Woojin didn’t know what to do. Desperately, he squeezed Shin’s arms.
Shin murmured, “Don’t be so impatient.”
“I-I wasn’t…”
Woojin tried to deny it, but their eyes met and Woojin froze. Shin panted as he bit Woojin’s lower lip and rubbed his chest. He asked, “Have you ever imagined having sex with me?”
Shin sounded breathless, but his voice still sounded so low and calm, making Woojin feel even hotter. Shin had such a wonderfully deep voice, so different than Woojin’s. It sounded heavy and from time to time, even a bit husky.
When Woojin shook his head, Shin replied, “That’s a lie.”
It indeed was a lie. For the last few days, Woojin couldn’t stop thinking about the last night of their business trip in the hotel room. Woojin always thought he was indifferent about sex, but he was mistaken. His body burned and it didn’t feel like his own anymore.
Shin asked, “You are lying, aren’t you?”
“…”
“Answer me.”
In the end, Woojin nodded. When he inhaled deeply, his face turning even redder, Shin slowly stood up. Woojin felt embarrassed, thinking he was the only one feeling this way. He remained on the sofa and looked down. Shin caressed Woojin’s face and smiled.
“I’ll go check on the coffee.”
Woojin nodded blankly and Shin walked to the kitchen. Watching Shin pouring two cups of coffee, Woojin suddenly stood up. Shin looked at him curiously but ignoring him, Woojin walked across the living room and stood in front of Shin. Woojin seemed still very much excited as he panted.
Woojin grabbed Shin’s shirt and pulled.
“Hmm?”
“…”
“Do you need something?”
Woojin began to feel upset. Was it just him who felt this way? How could Shin look so calm?
Woojin murmured, “Y-you seem… too used to this…”
He couldn’t help his voice trembling. When Shin put down the coffee pot and looked at him, Woojin stuttered, “M-me… I’m the only one f…feeling like t-this…”
“…”
“J-just me…”
Was he being jealous? Woojin wondered in confusion. It was true that he hated how Shin Kim was kind to everyone. Woojin wanted Shin to be just his. Realizing, and admitting this feeling was a shock to him. His legs quivered uncontrollably. Walking from the sofa to the kitchen, he almost fell a few times.
Shin asked, “Just you?”
“…”
When Woojin looked down, Shin sighed. He grabbed Woojin’s wrist and kissed his hand.
“…”
Then slowly, Shin brought Woojin’s hand down to his hard erection. Still holding Woojin’s hand, Shin asked, “Who said it’s just you?”