Ling Chuxia nestled in Shi Che’s embrace, her head tilted slightly upward, looking at him. From her angle, she could see the smooth line of Shi Che’s jaw, the slight bulge of his Adam’s apple, and his clean collarbone.
She still remembered when they were younger, how he held her just , walking through the school’s long corridors, past the lush trees, and along the quiet paths.
Back then, he wore white clothes, and when a soft breeze blew, it would billow his shirt. She was carried in his arms like that, as if all her fears could disappear.
But now, this embrace must be the last, right?
After this, he would never hold her again, and she could no longer nestle in his arms.
Ling Chuxia tilted her head slightly, pressing her forehead against Shi Che’s chest, slowly closing her eyes as tears glistened and fell from the corners.
When the car returned to the villa, Ling Chuxia had already fallen asleep against the seat back. Shi Che turned off the engine, angled his head slightly, and looked at her with his dark eyes.
Her eyes were gently closed; long, thick lashes cast a small shadow beneath her eye sockets, with a trace of pallor still on her cheeks. She was supposed to be sleeping against the back of the seat, but her body was still curled up instinctively.
He watched her and his brow furrowed slightly.
Ling Chuxia’s sleeping posture had always matched her straightforward personality. He remembered that when they first got married, she was quite reserved before she fell into deep sleep. But once she did, her wilful and dominant sleeping style would show without fail.
No matter how large the bed was, she could always take it over entirely by herself. He was often hit, kicked, or even kicked out of the bed by her. Then the next day, she could open those big eyes of hers and look at him innocently, as if nothing had happened, leaving him unable to vent his frustrations. In the end, he simply held her tight every night, so she couldn’t break free and kick him out of the bed anymore.
But later on, her sleeping posture became more regulated, more peaceful. He no longer needed to hold her tightly, to restrain her limbs, for she could sleep soundly on her own. On that large bed, she occupied only a very small corner, her body curled up, back turned to him, like a little animal scared of getting hurt, wrapping herself in a hard shell in an attempt to protect herself.
Those nights, he would watch her back, suffering from insomnia, headaches, anxiety, irritation, yet helpless to do anything about it.
When he found her diary, his heart nearly broke. The girl he deeply loved did not truly love him. In fact, she stayed by his side just for her elder sister, for the sake of being the Young Madam.
Since then, every time she came close to him, every time she smiled at him, showed him gentleness, or cared for him, the thought would uncontrollably surface in his mind: What were her smiles, her gentleness, her care really for? For her elder sister? For a position? For Mrs. Shi?
In any case... it was never for him.
He couldn’t resist her advances, but he also couldn’t accept her motives.
The deeper the love, the greater the resentment, the resentment... Why couldn’t she just love him.
Yet tonight, he saw how nervous, sad, and distressed she became over the necklace he sent her, utterly despairing, as if she had lost the whole world.
He suddenly wondered, had he been wrong all these years?
His pride and self-respect made it impossible for him to accept Ling Chuxia’s purpose-driven advances. But he had pushed her further and further away, so far that, even though she was right in front of him, he could no longer touch her.