The normal solemnity of the cemetery was now filled with faint sobs of Xiu Mei. All those painful memories that marred her for life was once again unearthed. She was weak, unbelievably too weak to face reality. For ten years, no matter how hard she tried to move on, she still couldn't.
She could not forget. Her mind and heart wouldn't let her forget. That night was completely engraved in her memories, every bit and every second of that nightmare.
Feeling her knees go weak, Xiu Mei lost her balance and dropped on the ground. Her hands stretched out to stop herself from completely falling down. Her position made her eyes completely face-to-face with the picture of smiling Ying Yue. Her smile stung strongly in Xiu Mei's heart, burning her eyes. Her eyes instantly turned blurry with the tears.
The clenching pain in her chest returned, worst that how it was years ago. Her breathing ran with difficulty, seemingly lacking in oxygen.
"I'm... sorry..." She said in between her sobs as tears streamed down her face. She buried her face in her hands as she pleaded for apology, completely blaming herself to what happened her best friend.
"I'm really sorry..."
"Sorry..."
If she hadn't been so foolishly brave back then...
If she hadn't pretended that everything was going to be fine...
If she hadn't believed that someone would come to their rescue...
If she had listened to her to find a way to escape...
If she had taken her place instead...
Ying Yue... Ying Yue wouldn't be like this...
Xiu Mei's cry grew louder.
Despite the peace and quiet filling the entire place, her ears was playing tricks on her. She felt that she was back to that place 10 years ago. That cold and stormy night, she was there chained onto the chair watching her best friend get r.a.p.ed by that sc.u.ms.
Her helpless and foolish self that couldn't do anything but to watch.
Xiu Mei could still hear Ying Yue's voice trying to fight back, she was shouting so loud as seconds passed by. What followed was a ripping noise of the clothes being torn apart.
Xiu Mei took in everything that happened. Ying Yue who was being violated by those men. Ying Yue's eyes that was previously full of determination was now full of despair and helplessness. She could understand what was running on her mind at that moment, as she too thought the same.
Just how it was better to die instead of being under this torture.
A few minutes after, Xiu Mei couldn't hear anymore Ying Yue's cries. She understood why. Xiu Mei was forced to watch her friend being tortured from start to end. By the end, she saw the empty eyes of Ying Yue who had already given up. Her lifeless eyes that continuously haunted her every night.
How Ying Yue slowly lost her breath after being violated for hours that night.
Pathetic.
Xiu Mei felt so pathetic.
She was so pathetic.
She was rich, yes. Her family had the power, yes.
But right now, all Xiu Mei could think of how useless those things were now in the face of her kidnappers.
In their eyes, they were just weak and pampered daughters cradled by their parents. That the both of them could easily be used and thrown away just because they are weak, helpless teenagers.
And they are.
This fact was ruthlessly slapped into her face, strong and loud.
Xiu Mei's arrogance was just complete ridiculousness. She only had the power of her family behind her, it wasn't her that was strong.
She was just a pathetic daughter trying to hide behind her family's power.
She was really foolish to have such thoughts that she was as great as her brothers and parents when all she was but a pampered daughter that grew up and cradled in the peace her parents had given her.
The 14 year old Xiu Mei was completely slapped by reality. Her eyes glued on the dead body of her best friend, she didn't know what to feel.
Her mind completely blanked out from the despair and facing reality that she was the next person to be molested. Her fate exactly to same with Ying Yue.
Xiu Mei was too engrossed and numb to what was happening around her that she didn't realize she was now being soaked under the rain that was already falling for quite a while.
She did not stand up and go to some place to find some cover but laid still in front of Ying Yue's grave. Her eyes clearly empty and lost, while her tears was mixed up with the rain.
That strong Xiu Mei they were all telling her was because they were probably fooled by her act.
That strong Xiu Mei was just a bluff.
She wasn't strong at all.
She was pathetic and weak.
She was just an arrogant, spoiled, and pampered daughter that got her bestfriend killed.
She is a sinner ought to be dead too.