“Ahmmm”
“You told us you didn't exist in your vision right? So who would we end up with without you?” Sakura asks.
“Do you really want to know Sakura?”.
“Please don't tell me it was Naruto...”
“Nah, you still chased Ssuke, who at that point had stabbed you like 3 times through the chest with intent to kill.”
“What the fuck was I thinking!!!!!"
“It doesn’t help you were still only 16 by the end of the war but it does boggles the mind… He was also a terrible husband after, leaving you to raise your daughter by yourself as he kept wandering around, solving problems…”
A mighty fine daughter at least. Too bad she’s not meant to be now.
“I swear if I see that bastard's face again I’ll punch a hole through his chest. Did we really just accept him back after all the shit he pulled, years of betraying and fighting against the village”
“Ohh they forgave much worse… like Orochimaru and Kabuto.”
Tsunade nearly choked on the tea she was drinking.
“They actually took him back… despite being responsible for the death of thousands and killing Hiruzen???”
“Yup…”
“I knew there was some good behind his twistedness... at least tell me I didn’t end up with the frog perv in the vision.”
“No, he died investigating Akatsuki before the war started. You and Shizune remained single as far as I can tell.”
“No, I refuse to stay single any longer with this body Yami.”
Tsunade looks flirtatiously in my direction before being interrupted by Ino.
“What about the rest of us?”
“You ended up with this pretty and pretty traumatized boy called Sai while Hinata… ended up with Naruto in the end.”
Hinata shakes her head.
“If I see this Sai guy I’ll make sure to ruin his face so you don’t have to worry Yami. What about Anko then?”
“She… got married to dango and could pass for an Akimichi clan member.”
“pffff... Ahahha” “Hahahha”
Sakura and Ino start laughing until Anko distributed a couple of punches to the top of their heads.
“So tell me Yami… other girls, who did they end up with?”
“Let’s see, important females… Temari, sister of the next Sunakage ended with Shikamaru. Tenten, a genin a year older than us that we can befriend in the Chunin exams ended alone after her crush Hinata’s cousin Neji died in the war.”
“Neji died…”
“Yes, defending the world alongside thousands of others… he didn't seem remorseful about it in the end but he still has a lot of grievances to share with you in the Chunin exams should you get matched against. He also fought but lost against Naruto the following round.”
He somehow failed to notice with his Byakugan a random shadow clone underground and got knocked out in a single punch…
“Moving on” Anko insists.
“Let’s see, Karin we meet in Chunni’s follows Sasuke and end alone at the end… several girls we meet in the Chunni’s die such as Tayuya and Kin both from Otogakure and followers of Orochimaru during or after the crush plan.
“They wouldn’t be missed.”
Yeah… but it’s always a shame to have a pretty girl die. I wouldn’t call them evil either, they just followed the wrong person and had quite a delightable spunk in them.
“Let’s see, I can think of several other important women that ended up alone but not anymore that ended married.”
Most notably Terumi Mai and Samui, I wouldn’t mind getting closer to either of them, with or without bloodlines to steal.
“You’re not thinking of just sleeping with women from every village and trying to achieve peace that way are you?” Tsunade asks.
“I would be lying to say the thought never closed my mind… “But no, I don’t think I can just seduce my way through the world, and even if that works, war would just break out again in the next generation.”
“Then just don’t die.” Tsunade says with a smile on her face.
“Yeah… let’s leave any plan for world domination for after we deal with the crazy lunatics trying to destroy the world.”
“Ahh yes.“Nagato the orphan who lost his friend so wants to show the word the meaning of pain to stop the wars.“Tobi, the orphan who lost his love and wants to bring peace to the world by locking the whole world in a genjutsu.“What does that make you? "Yami, the orphan that doesn’t want to lose his love so wants to take over the world to stop the wars?”
“*choke* FUCK, am I really just another generic background orphan villain? Am I going to start having to worry about Naruto coming for me and trying to convince me to trust him and make peace with everyone”
Sakura Ino and Anko start laughing at my face, even Shizune can’t hide her giggle but worst of all… Et tu Hinata… she’s hiding behind her arm but her laughs are leaking out.
I will have to give Tsunade’s idea some more thought another day… the most important part of all is to get rid of the main instigator behind everything, black zetsu, otherwise no matter what we do he’ll spell trouble for the future.His phasing Jutsu just puts him on the top 3 most annoying enemies to kill, right up there with Tobi and Orochimaru.