A burning question kept popping up in Zhang Fengxi’s head every once in a while.
"What did Xie Jianyu mean to you?"
This question was followed up by another burning question, "What did Liu Wenyuan mean to you?"
The answers to these questions used to be straightforward.
"Xie Jianyu meant nothing to me. Liu Wenyuan is the love of my life," a smitten Zhang Fengxi in his youngster days would say.
Later on, after Zhang Fengxi found out the truth about Xie Jianyu, his answer changed.
"Xie Jianyu died because of me. I owe him the world. Liu Wenyuan is the love of my life."
After he returned from Heaven and Hell Peak -- based on what he experienced during the trial at Abyssal Ice Pond -- the answer to the first question changed into, "Xie Jianyu is the person I cannot bear to lose."
He did not dare to answer the second question.
Zhang Fengxi was glad that these monologues happened in his head, otherwise it would be difficult to answer the condemnations that followed.
Besides, he still had spearsmanship to dedicate his free time to.
Rigorous training day after day successfully drove away both Xie Jianyu and Liu Wenyuan out from Zhang Fengxi’s mind. This was one cheat that worked for a while, but not forever. Eventually, Zhang Fengxi’s phantom came back to haunt him in the form of Liu Wenyuan.
The omega had not seen his betrothed since they left the Sun and Moon Temple, so he missed Zhang Fengxi greatly. He came to Longjing Palace with some brewed wine and delicacies to share with his future in-laws.
"Prince Fengxi!"
Liu Wenyuan ran toward Zhang Fengxi, who was still busy swinging his spear at the training ground. The alpha was unprepared for this sudden visit. He shot the omega a surprised look that slowly morphed into an unnatural smile before taking him in his arms.
Omegas were highly-sensitive beings. He noticed the subtle changes in Zhang Fengxi’s attitude.
"Prince Fengxi, is everything alright?" he asked.
Zhang Fengxi was unable to answer right away. It was enough to make Liu Wenyuan’s heart lurch to the bottom of his stomach.
"Did something happen?"
Zhang Fengxi did not want to talk about their relationship issues while they were standing on the training ground.
"Let’s go somewhere else, my love."
Zhang Fengxi then took Liu Wenyuan’s hand and took him to his private living room.
"Prince Fengxi, you did not answer my question," Liu Wenyuan insisted as soon as they sat at the table. "Did something happen?"
Zhang Fengxi sighed.
"I don’t know," he answered truthfully.
It was maybe just an illusion within the Three Realm Spear’s scenario, but the feelings he had for the imaginary Xie Jianyu were not fake. Nor was the desolation that followed when the imaginary Xie Jianyu died. Nor was the warmth that flooded his heart when he held the real Xie Jianyu in his arms.
Zhang Fengxi knew that he felt something toward Xie Jianyu. Something utterly wrong and forbidden, and yet he could not help it.
He also did not know how to explain it to Liu Wenyuan.
"Prince, you have been quite distant these days. Did I do something wrong...?"
Zhang Fengxi shook his head.
"Did I not show you enough love?"
Zhang Fengxi shook his head again and again. He grabbed Liu Wenyuan’s shoulders and stared into his eyes.
"No, Wenyuan. You did nothing wrong. The problem lies with me."
Liu Wenyuan pressed his lips together full of indignation. He knew it.
"Is there someone else in your heart?"
"..."
"There is, isn’t there?"
Zhang Fengxi lowered his gaze.
"Wenyuan, I..."
Zhang Fengxi wanted to pull Liu Wenyuan into his arms, but the omega shoved him away.
"Prince Fengxi, how could you!"
"Wenyuan, I am sorry," Zhang Fengxi said helplessly.
Liu Wenyuan turned away from him. He did not want to see Zhang Fengxi, but the conversation was far from being over.
"How far did you go?"
"..."
"Did you sleep with the person? Is the person pregnant?"
"... No, Wenyuan."
Zhang Fengxi grabbed Liu Wenyuan from behind and squeezed him in his embrace.
He already cheated on Wenyuan once in his past life, accidental or not. He would never do it again. He did not want to hurt his beloved.
"The person and I shared a common past. I am indebted to the person. We have only hugged a few times. Wenyuan, my love for you is still the same."
Even as he said that, he knew that it was a complete lie. His feelings for Liu Wenyuan were a far cry from the deep-rooted infatuation of his past life. And yet, Zhang Fengxi was unwilling to admit it.
Meanwhile, Liu Wenyuan’s body shook from grief. He then broke into pitiful sobs.
"I don’t want you to hug anyone other than me," he whined.
"I understand that. I am deeply sorry."
"I don’t care about old debts. Can you accept it if I go and do the same with other alphas?"
"No, of course not..."
Zhang Fengxi would break the legs of any alpha who dared to even so much as throw a shifty look at Liu Wenyuan.
They would lose their arms if they dared to hug Liu Wenyuan.
Liu Wenyuan turned to look at Zhang Fengxi with a tear-streaked face. He looked so pitiful that Zhang Fengxi immediately felt like the greatest scum in all three realms.
"Prince Fengxi... can you or can you not change your ways...?"
"I can," Zhang Fengxi quickly said. "I will never touch anyone other than you again. I swear."
Zhang Fengxi held his crying betrothed in his arms.
He closed his eyes and made a promise to himself. He must keep a distance from Xie Jianyu no matter what. Otherwise, he was going to hurt Liu Wenyuan and ruin their relationship.
He already lost Liu Wenyuan once in his past life. Heaven granted him a second chance to redo things. This time, he must marry Liu Wenyuan and make him happy.