Chapter 381: The Emperor’s Daughter Chapter. 381
“Ferdel said it’s not easy to teach others.”
It’s easy to follow a fixed guide and lecture others, but it’s tough to cater to personal achievement and draw out that potential from individuals. Of course, Ferdel was saying that to praise himself.
“But aren’t you busy? If you want, you can quit being my guardian knight and focus on your teaching.”
“… this is only a hobby of mine. ”
I meant it, but as soon as he heard it, Assisi’s expression got noticeably stiff. Watching him cutting off my offer at once made me feel a little complicated.
“My duty has always been to protect you.”
“And I’m thankful for that, but…”
In fact, thanking him wasn’t enough to show my gratitude.
Still…
“Sometimes, I worry if I’m holding you back.”
I felt like Assisi could quickly leave me and find better things in his life. He didn’t have to bind himself to me. Of course, something had changed now, but it was subtle because Assisi’s main routine was centered on me. That’s not what I wanted.
If he would really quit being my guardian knight, of course, I’d be disappointed and sad. I felt conflicted about this too.
Still, I hoped it would happen for Assisi.
I only mentioned it lightly, but Assisi’s face still darkened, perhaps because he felt the heaviness of my proposal.
“Does that mean… you don’t need me anymore?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant…”
Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought this up. How troubling.
I couldn’t say anything because it had already happened. If I tried to make it up to Assisi to have him feel comfortable, he would get hurt more.
Oh, what was I supposed to do with this?
I gave up because I thought Assisi would never let it go. Let’s just be honest with him.
“I mean, you spent so much of your time on me. You should meet someone, fall in love, get married, and have a family. Just like everyone else.”
I had thought about this since I was seven years old, and nothing much had changed even after 10 years. Assisi still didn’t want to get married… I want Assisi to find small pieces of happiness, but Assisi’s thoughts always focused on me and on me alone.
It would be better if he cared about himself more than he cared about me. Maybe that’s why I felt guilty whenever I saw Assisi.
“I just thought I might be messing up your life.”
“That won’t happen.”
Assisi denied. I showed a bitter smile.
“If it wasn’t for you, Princess…”
Assisi swallowed his breath.
“I would still be lost, wandering, and searching for a place to die in.”