"Ding, welcome to the Flash Multiverse Liaison Group."
Flash Multiverse Liaison Group Announcement:
This is an exclusive group for all Flashes across the multiverse, created to promote communication, cooperation, and mutual assistance. The mission is to maintain multiversal peace, fight against the sole madman intent on destroying the universe, build a harmonious multiverse, and protect all timelines.
"A newcomer just joined?"
"Welcome, newcomer! Welcome, Flash!"
"Which Flash are you?"
"Come on, place your bets! Based on the current Flash classifications, let's guess which doppelganger he is!"
"The Flash – Jay Garrick, odds: 1:1.36."
"The Flash – Barry Allen, odds: 1:0.5."
"The Flash – Wally West, odds: 1:2.3."
"The Flash – Bart Allen, odds: 1:1.25."
"The Flash – Jesse Quick, odds: 1:7."
"The Flash – Bruce Wayne, odds: 1:10."
"Reverse-Flash, odds: 1:100."
"My odds as Flash Bruce Wayne are way too exaggerated! In my universe, I'm not only the protector of Gotham, I'm also the guardian of the entire world!"
"How are you even in this group?"
"Everyone else here is the guardian of Central City. You, a Gotham speeder, actually made it into this group. We didn't kick you out already, and you're still acting all high and mighty?"
"Exactly. Bruce has money and Speed Force. What's going on?"
"Wait, Bruce has two superpowers?"
"Money and the Speed Force!"
"Your universe must have collapsed!"
"In my universe, I'm the only superhero! Truly living the dream!"
"Damn it! I strongly suggest kicking this life-winning cheat out!"
"Everyone, be serious! This group exists to help Flashes across the multiverse connect and grow stronger together. We must unite to protect the universe. Don't let this become like the Green Lantern group next door. That group is full of dumb dogs just goofing off. It's unbearable to even watch!"
"Long live the Green Lantern group!"
"Long live the Green Lantern group!"
"Long live the Green Lantern group!"
"Long live the Green Lantern group!"
"Long live the Green Lantern group!"
"Flash Bruce, your odds are considered normal. At least you're a superhero. Unlike someone else here, whose odds are 1:100. Isn't that just embarrassing?"
"Your odds are that high, don't you feel any pressure?"
"There are over 800 Flashes in this group, and more than 782 Reverse-Flashes. All of them are your counterparts. More than 500 Flash moms were killed by you, seriously."
"You're amazing, Reverse-Flash! Practically every version of the multiverse has you as a sworn enemy!"
"I seriously wish I could shove a vibrating hand blade through your heart."
"I feel like beating the hell out of you!"
"This pisses me off..."
"You guys, calm down!"
"Calm down! This Reverse-Flash is actually a superhero from another universe."
"Yeah, from another universe. We can't find him anyway!"
"When we finally meet him, we'll all greet him with a vibrating hand blade. For now, calm down and don't scare him off!"
"Enough. Shut up, you bunch of scumbags with speeds barely in the triple-digit Machs. Newcomer, report your name and speed!"
"I... I'm Barry Allen!"
"Oh great, another Barry!"
"Across the multiverse, Barry Allen is always the Flash king!"
"Not surprising. Justice League member. Solid origin."
"Alright, what's your speed? What Mach?"
"Average… about Mach 8."
"This is the weakest Flash in history!"
"That speed is shockingly slow. Slower than a snail, I swear!"
"At this speed, are you sure you're a speedster? Or the Flash? Did you just stroll in here from Marvel to joke around? Speaking of which, our universe has merged with Marvel. There's a guy named Quicksilver who keeps racing me. It's exhausting."
"This is unusually slow!"
"Among Flashes, you're one of the slowest."
"Barry Allen at Mach 8? As someone with the same name, I can't even look at you. Shameful."
"I didn't expect Barry Allen to be the slowest one."
"I was just struck by lightning and gained Speed Force, and I already hit Mach 200… By the way, I just helped Superman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Cyborg repel Steppenwolf's invasion. We sent the Mother Box back and are preparing to form the Justice League!"
"Hehe, Mach 200? You crawling on a turtle?"
"I'm at Mach 5,000 and I still don't dare brag!"
"Mach 8,000… that's getting impressive."
"Mach 10,000 just silently watches your showboating."
"Mach 100,000 looks down from above."
"Mach 200,000 doesn't even speak."
"Mach 500,000 squints at everyone."
"Shut up, all of you! If you're not even at light speed, don't even talk in this group! Go practice. Run, Barry, run!"
"Even light speed is trash! Twice the speed of light looks down on all lifeforms."
"Five times the speed of light gives you fair warning, don't try to show off in front of me. I could strip your clothes and tie a bow before you even notice."
"Are we really comparing speeds now? Seriously? I can watch a nuclear bomb in slow motion and casually walk through it. That's only about ten times light speed. It's late at night—please, stop this nonsense, you speed clowns!"
"Heh! I, Wally, rescued 500,000 people from a nuclear explosion, back and forth! Someone do the math for me, what speed is that?"
"Whoa, the big shots are starting to show up."
"Newbies like me are trembling!"
"Please, senior Flashes, spare us. How are we supposed to be heroes with speeds like ours?"
"If you can't outrun a nuclear bomb, anything below light speed is trash."
"I just activated Fast Thinking and calculated for 0.001 seconds. Wally saved 500,000 people during a nuclear explosion. Factoring in the round trip distance, we finally came up with a soul-crushing number."
"13 trillion times the speed of light!"
"How do you even train to reach that speed?"
"Is Wally the fastest?"
"He should be the fastest!"
"The fastest? Not necessarily!"
"You guys underestimate Barry Allen Jr.!"
"When this Flash group was first created, there was already a Barry Allen whose speed surpassed all others. He's the true hidden boss with absolute speed."
"He once raced a cosmic god. The god used teleportation, and still couldn't keep up."
"That Barry is faster than light, faster than teleportation, faster than thought itself. That's the true ultimate speeder. What you guys are bickering about here? Total trash!"