"Can you give me your phone for a minute?" Words escaped from my mouth before I knew.
Sophie’s brows furrowed, but she did not hesitate. She looked around and retrieved it when she found it. As she handed it to me, I grabbed the device with a trembling hand.
Sophie’s eyes were fixed on my hand. She stood up from the bed, "I will bring you some water in the meantime." I did not say anything, just responded with a grateful smile.
While she walked out of the room, my focus shifted back to the bright screen in front of my eyes.
I licked my chapped lips as I opened the search engine. I started to type my name into the search box. Before I went to the police station or any other place, I needed to measure the depth of the ocean I was about to enter.
All this time, I did not have a single clue about how much time I had spent. More importantly, I had to know what mess had been made after I got cut from the world.
My hands trembled, hesitating before pressing the button.
God, why am I so scared? Just click it already, you dumbo.
Shutting my eyes, I abruptly pressed the screen. The buffering kept happening for a few seconds, and trust me, those few seconds almost felt like a few years.
Finally, the links started to show up on various news outlets. My chest tightened as I scrolled through them.
At first, my basic info came in, as I kept moving my fingers when my eyes lay on one headline in bold letters.
"FAMOUS CELEBRITY’S WIFE BETRAYED HIM & RAN AWAY WITH HIS SECRETARY!"
My blood ran cold. My brain was unable to process what I was seeing in front of me. The phone slipped out of my hands as my eyes were unable to focus on anything.
My worst nightmare at the end came to reality. What I thought should not happen at any cost happened either way.
My stomach started to churn as nausea started to hit; that’s when Sophie came into my view. Her eyes widened as she screamed out my name, "ELENA!"
Every breath felt like swallowing thorns, making it too difficult to even inhale the air. Just when I thought I would loose my consciousness, a voice emerged within me, "Control. Don’t lose it. Not now, not ever."
Suddenly, the fog surrounding my conscience started to fade away. My vision also started to get clearer.
Control. Don’t lose it. These words kept ringing in my ear like a stuck radio tape.
I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms, scratching my palms. I bit my lip,s trying to swallow the pain, continuously trying to ground myself to the moment.
My body screamed in protest, weak and trembling, but my mind refused to give in. The voice in my head kept repeating those as it became my anchor, my armor against the harsh reality.
Step by step, I forced my awareness back into my body. Fingers, arms, legs, every part of my body started to obey again, not perfectly, but enough to not hyperventilate in front of her.
And even as my head throbbed slightly, making the room sway slightly, I whispered to Sophie, "I..I am fine, now."
Sophie passed the water of glass to my mouth. I sipped off the water as it soothed my throat. Slowly-slowly, I started to grab the glass by myself, gulping down the rest of it.
As the water disappeared, I sighed in relief as my gaze fell on her. "What happened to you?" Sophie’s question again reminded me of that headline.
I did not answer her question immediately; instead, I started to look for the phone. As soon as my eyes landed on it, I retrieved it without hesitation, but it was now locked.
I snapped my head in her direction, "Open it now. Please." At first, she got shocked, but when I requested, she slowly took it from me and drew a pattern. The next second, the phone got unlocked, and I almost snatched it from her hand.
Sliding down to that headline’s content, I started reading it.
"Elena Morris, wife of famous actor and businessman Dave Morris, allegedly ran away with his secretary, Josh. The scandal has shocked fans and insiders alike..."
I froze. My hands shook, and my chest started to feel tight.
Sophie sat beside me as her eyes started to move frantically, reading the content. As realization hit her, she tried to suggest in a low and soft voice, not wanting to make her more anxious, "Elena... maybe you shouldn’t read this."
But I shook my head in response.
"No, I have to see everything. I need to know how far this has gone." I whispered out. My voice came out so weak, making me gulp down the lump forming in my throat as if I was not saying this to her but myself.
I kept scrolling. Every news article, every social media post, every comment twisted the story even more. People I didn’t even know were judging me, saying cruel things, and spreading lies.
My hands trembled, but this time I gripped the phone tightly. I wanted to throw the phone, smash it. Just make it all go away.
But I forced myself to stay calm.
Not now. First, survive. Then fight.
I started saving screenshots, copying posts, and anything I could use to understand the full story. Each one hurt, but at the same time, it gave me information. Knowledge was the first step to fixing this mess.
My hands trembled, but this time I gripped the phone tightly. I wanted to throw the phone, smash it. Just make it all go away. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴠɪsɪᴛ n͟o͟v͟e͟l͟f͟i͟r͟e͟.net
But I forced myself to stay calm. First, survive. Then fight.
I started saving screenshots, copying posts, and anything I could use to understand the full story. Each one hurt, but at the same time, it gave me information. Knowledge was the first step to fixing this mess.
Sophie stayed close to me, but she did not say anything and remained quiet. She just sat...just being there for me.
I was grateful for the silence, as I did not have enough energy or the right words to explain everything. Her presence kept me from losing control.
When I had saved everything, I lowered the phone slightly, my chest heaving. Fear and anger roared inside me, but I felt a spark of determination.
I looked at Sophie. "This isn’t the truth, Sophie, but I will fix it. I have to," I said, my voice stronger than I felt.