It was only after a long time that Shen Fangyu spoke very softly, breaking the silence in the room: “Okay, I’ll tell you.”
He lowered his eyes and cracked his knuckles gently.
“You remember that I told you…I have an elder brother.” He said, “I was still little when my parents started going to A city for business and had to be looked after for food, drink, and sleep. They found me burdensome, so they took only my brother with them.”
“I grew up at my grandparents’ house and only saw them at the same time once or twice a year. When I was in junior high school, my grandmother died, and my grandfather followed soon after.”
“At that time, my parents came back to attend the funeral. I thought they would not leave after, but they said my brother was still studying there, and it was inconvenient to change schools in the middle of the year, so they asked me if I wanted to change to a school in A city, saying that the quality of teaching there was better.”
“I was reluctant to part with my classmates and friends at that time, so I didn’t want to transfer to another school. Moreover, my grandparents had just left, and I didn’t want them to have no one to pay respects to them.” Shen Fangyu said, “Then my parents talked to me and said that they would come back after my brother finished his entrance exams.”
Shen Fangyu said to himself, “It’s normal for close relatives to be distant from each other.”
“After that, they gave some money to my uncles, aunts, and neighbors so that I could go to my relatives and neighbors and eat wherever there was food. This way, I wouldn’t starve to death, and we had accommodation at school, so it was fine.”
“A few years later, my brother went to university, and my parents finally came back. However, they only stayed for a year or two, probably because they found out that I was socially okay and couldn’t starve to death alone. Plus, my brother had a girlfriend, and my parents wanted to buy him a house, so they went out to earn money again and only came back two years ago to settle down.”
He looked at the floor of Jiang Xu’s bedroom and thought, “Perhaps they wanted to make it up to me so every time I went back in the last two years, they would cook me a big meal.”
“But maybe it’s because I’m past that age where I want my parents’ care,” Shen Fangyu smiled and shook his head, “so I don’t find them particularly tasty anymore.”
Jiang Xu glanced at him with a somewhat complicated expression. The teenage years were the most sensitive time, and it would be difficult for a secondary school student to adapt to being alone among all sorts of friends and relatives, and even to being considered a parasite. Jiang Xu thought it would have been difficult if it had been him.
Perhaps it was this experience that made Shen Fangyu more tactful than he was and more aware of the ways of the world. But the price he had to pay made Jiang Xu somewhat distressed.
Perhaps it’s because two-thirds of the human heart is to the left of the median line and one-third to the right that the human heart is naturally biased, and there are not many parents who can make their children’s treatment balanced.
Because he was born late, and his elder brother had reached the peak of excellence, no matter how hard he tried, he would always be chasing in his elder brother’s footsteps. Becoming the top scholar was something to boast about in the eyes of others, but it was only a continuation of his brother’s glory and not a disgrace to his family.
Having a top scholar was not something new to the family.
“Jiang Xu …… I actually want to know what it’s like to be the pride of your parents like you are. ”
Jiang Xu looked at him.
Shen Fangyu pursed his lips and said, “You know what? When I was little, I always wished I was the older brother.”
“But now that I think about it, it’s not a big deal; although I’m not that close to my parents, I was close to my grandparents,” Shen Fangyu smiled, with a bit of self-comfort, “My brother probably doesn’t even know the story of the tiger skin green pepper.”
“And my brother is indeed a good son. He listened to them and came back to Ba City after graduation, got married, and had children so that they could have grandchildren and have the joy of a family. He is unlike me, who was born and made them lose their jobs and got them fined for having an extra child. Moreover, I’m always in A City, refusing to go home.”
“…… But they don’t really care if I go back or not.”
His parents didn’t care about him because they had been too negligent in the past, and now that he had grown up, they were even less able to tell him what to do. All the care they showed him now was somewhat distant and polite, which was to be expected after all these years.
Shen Fangyu always felt that his parents regretted giving birth to him.
If his parents were given a chance to choose again, they probably wouldn’t choose to give birth to him.
In their family, his brother was enough.
Shen Fangyu paused and let out a faint laugh, “I don’t blame my parents either, life forces me to do so.”
The pressure of life is a mountain that young people can’t escape from. Just like when Shen Fangyu was young, he looked forward to his mother and father, who were struggling far away in A City, but when he grew up, he went to the city without looking back and rarely returned to his family.
The ever-vibrant heart of City A was filled with countless young people with high ambitions. They came to the city one after another, contributing their youth to the city without reservation, recharging it, and maintaining its undying glow.
Then the young ones run out of power and gradually grow old, and the great wave washes them away. A very small number stay, while most are eliminated and have to leave.
A few years later, their offspring, now grown up, make a comeback with their passion and ideals.
Shen Fangyu wasn’t so bored.
The only regret was that he clearly had more family members than the others, but the path seemed more lonely than the others.
“Huh,” Shen Fangyu finally sighed. “Why am I bringing up these old stories?” He sighed while pressing the bridge of his nose helplessly, “It’s been so many years, but it seems like I still care. ”
“Jiang Xu,” he said, “just pretend you didn’t hear me; it’s too embarrassing…”
Jiang Xu interrupted his sentence and said, “Then I’ll care about you.”
Shen Fangyu looked up suddenly.
Jiang Xu’s voice was faint and clear in the night:
“I never thought that I would live with someone who… was not my lover, or even live my whole life.”
“But after I met you, I thought maybe it would be possible.”
Jiang Xu said to him, “I’ll keep you company from now on, and I’ll take care of you.”
Shen Fangyu couldn’t say anything.
“What’s wrong?”
It was hard to see Shen Fangyu’s expression in the darkness, and seeing him sit motionless and not say anything, Jiang Xu reached out to turn on the light.
“Don’t,” Shen Fangyu said, “Don’t turn it on.”
Jiang Xu’s fingers froze. He could hear a subtle emotion in Shen Fangyu’s voice, which also seemed a little hoarse.
The bedroom was quiet, and Shen Fangyu turned his face away, not caring about the fact that Jiang Xu’s remark was also a repetition of Ren Miao’s words.
Before, he thought that Ren Han was just an ordinary rebellious teenager.
Until that day, when he heard the two girls chatting.
He thought that, in a way, he could understand Ren Han quite well, so he could probably guess how much the words Ren Miao said had moved her.
Having opened the most secret and hidden door in her heart, he actually envied Ren Han at that moment.
But he didn’t expect that someone would also say that to him. and, surprisingly, that person was Jiang Xu.
Shen Fangyu felt that his mind was in a bit of turmoil and his heart was slightly sour.
The overwhelming emotions caused Shen Fangyu to pluck up the courage to ask a question he had always wanted to ask, “Why did you change your mind and decide to keep the child?”
“Was it because you got soft-hearted?”
Jiang Xu was silent.
Shen Fangyu then said, “Or… was it a little bit …… because of me?”
Jiang Xu still didn’t make a sound.
Shen Fangyu looked at the time on his phone and probably knew he was pushing it too much. He tilted his head back, forcing back the emotions and expectations in his eyes, and forced a smile to remedy the situation. “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer; it��s late, you should sleep-”
“Yes.”
The wind blew in through the window screen, shaking the corners of the heavy curtains. Jiang Xu looked at him and suddenly spoke up.