He had thought he had been training himself hard so one day, he would kill the Knull and avenge his uncle. Yet right now, he was beginning to learn his existence alone might have ensured his uncle's death.
He had picked up on Uncle Bob's mentioning of him having lost 90% of his cultivation after passing Ryuk his own veins to support Ryuk's own body.
If Uncle Bob possessed those veins, would he have died to the Knull?
Then who was truly responsible for Uncle Bob's death?
The Knull, or Ryuk himself?
He had thought after killing off that Knull bird, and getting revenge for Uncle Bob, he would go back to Grade E, exchange the core of the Knull with Old Jack, and after that, he would settle back to his home, hunting some E-grade beasts and relaxing in Grade E, dying a peaceful death in the place of his birth.
What more could one determine as more peaceful than that?
Yet right now, he had been told his home wasn't Grade E.
Heck, it wasn't even Endearth at all.
Ryuk wasn't even from this planet, the same for his Uncle Bob.
This was never his home at all. Out there in the stars was his true world.
At first, he had at least been happy that out there, there was a family waiting for him, waiting for his return.
But then, he had lost all of his body parts, and the figures who had been responsible were none other than the family he had been happy to at least return home to.
And not only that, but they're also chasing his life, wanting the three parts of his body that he had left. Wanting to erase him completely from existence.
Just what had he even done wrong that warranted him having no peace until he was fully eliminated?
Now Endearth wasn't his home, but the place he also came from wasn't particularly welcoming.
So, where exactly does he even belong?
Does he even belong at all?
"I'm lost..." Ryuk whispered out once more as the lights in his eyes began considerably dulling.
'I caused the pain on Uncle Bob. I caused his death...'
'I have no home to return to...'
'They're coming for me. Coming to take what little I have left...'
Slowly, the guilt began piling and piling and piling, until all Ryuk could see was the guilt. Not a single thing he had done. Not the hard work he had put into training.
In the end, what does it all amount to?
Slowly, the words began ringing out of Ryuk's lips as an intense cold aura began oozing out of his body, and his eyes turned to slits.
"Hehehehehehehehe..."
A crazed, bizarre laughter like the laugh of one who no longer has anything to lose began to ring out of his lips.
"Let them come..." he said as he rose up to his feet, spreading both hands apart.
"I'll just kill all of them and put an end to it..."
"Shame on me at all for even trying to give up..."
"Uncle Bob had easily given his own life and power just for me to live..."
"I can remember he mentioned that he had saved me from a war, meaning somehow, there must have been people who have risen, people who have died, just to see me escape my enemies..."
"And the thought of sobering myself up even crossed my mind at all?"
"Hehehe, how foolish of me..."
"The last thing I'll be is sober. After people risked their own lives, and literally died just to make me keep living..."
"I'll sit and fall into a pity party for myself?"
"Or I'll rise up, grow stronger to a level beyond those of my enemies, and bring an end to them all."
"Make all the sacrifices of the people worth it?"
"I was only a baby and they took everything away from me?"
"Now, I'm the one that is supposed to sit and be sad?"
"They extracted the body parts of an infant, and now they want me to be sad and feel guilt?"
"Is that all I can do after all of their deaths..."
"Had Uncle Bob revealed the truth to me, just so I can sit down like a baby and cry and sober up all day?"
"Imagine Uncle Bob watching me right now, seeing me drown in sorrow that wasn't even my fault."
"Would he smile and be proud, or would he have nothing but disgust on his face?"
"I swear by your name, Uncle Bob. All those who have fought and risked their life just for me to keep living..."
"I'll make sure none of their deaths are in vain, by chasing down every single one of my enemies and bringing an end to them all..."
"I swear by your name, Uncle Bob. I'll take back every single part of my body that was seized from me. I'll get back my full body, and death to all those who harnessed them in the first place and deprived me of them..."
"I swear by your name, Uncle Bob. I'll find a way back home and report to my mother, whom you have been ever loyal to, even until death, and inform her of every single deed that you have done, and how well you have completed her orders..."
Could Ryuk feel anger at having his body parts stolen from him?
Did he feel pain from having everything ripped away from him?
Did he feel pain, from knowing well, if he didn't exist, then Uncle Bob would most likely live?
Yes, he felt monumental pain for every single scenario.
But so many people had died.
Uncle Bob had died too.
Would tearing up bring them back?
All those people who died, wouldn't they all have died in vain if he sat down here and turned sober?
Perhaps, there was hope, hope of being able to help those people back up? Or even hope of bringing Uncle Bob back?
But would there be such hope if he gave up now?
The answer had no doubts.