"Why don't you use it?" A young girl, no more than 15, asked with a curious expression as she looked toward her friend. She had beautiful red hair with a lovely hairstyle and an adorable dress. Daniela approached her, taking her hands. "Are you afraid?" she asked with concern as she saw the deep blue shade within Evelyn's soul. Evelyn opened her eyes, lowered her head, and nodded slowly. "Yes."
I was afraid of my own magic, my own affinity — fire. I was terribly afraid of its flames. If it were up to me, I would never use it again. Every time I close my eyes, every time I sleep, every time I feel even a sliver of peace, I hear whispers, small whispers in my own voice: "Burn it all." Soft, but constant, like having another version of myself in my ear every single day…
Daniela stayed silent and squeezed her hands a little tighter. "It's alright. You don't need to use it if you don't want to. Don't worry..."
Evelyn, with her head down, nodded again.
"Get out!" A woman with light red hair shouted in resentment, her eyes blazing with fury as she looked at her daughter. She shook her head, sat bitterly in the chair, and put her hands over her face. Tears began to flow from her eyes as she silently sobbed. The grand hall fell completely silent. The servants nearby made no sound, but their eyes said it all. They looked at the young girl standing at the center with hate and fear.
Evelyn lowered her head, gripping her dress tightly as her body began to tremble, and tears fell from her eyes. She ran out of the hall and rushed to her own room, slamming the door shut behind her. She breathed deeply and closed her eyes tightly. "Calm down, just breathe… breathe… okay..." She tried to calm herself, taking deep breaths, though the trembling in her body never subsided. Her shoulders shook as she knelt on the floor with her hands over her ears. "It wasn't my fault… It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault!!" she yelled furiously, pounding the floor with her fists, which caused large flames to erupt on the soft silk of the carpet.
Evelyn's eyes widened as she quickly pulled back, moving to a corner of the room. She looked around, then closed her eyes again. "It's different… calm down," she told herself again. This room isn't the same as before; it's in another place, somewhere else…
"It's okay; I'm okay now… It's better being alone… that way, I can calm down… it's the only way. Just ignore it, and everything will be fine," Evelyn murmured to herself in the dimly lit room, sitting in a corner, trying to silence the constant murmurs that assaulted her ears…
I hate fire. I abhor it; I despise it. The worst thing that ever happened to me was being born with a great affinity for fire. The worst thing that ever happened was killing my own father with my own flames. The worst thing that ever happened is… is… I'm no longer sure what the worst thing that ever happened is. Whispers in my ears, voices tempting me, voices making me feel despair, and… complete silence around me, just me and my delusions, that I'm crazy, that I'm making it all up to justify killing my father, or so my mother would say every time I went crying to her arms, but all I ever received was a slap and a look that no mother should ever give her child.
"I should never have had you." Those were her words. "Murderer, monster, and cursed." Those were also her words. I remember everything as if it were yesterday: her gaze, her disdain, even her fear. I felt it all — fear of her own daughter. I also remember… that she tried to kill herself and take me with her… I don't hate her; I killed her fiancé, my father, and the head of the Firedrake family, a duke of the empire… a powerful being reduced to ashes by a child, or so the rumors go. But only a few know the truth; he tried to stop her, the Seraphim… that day, I was tired, tired of everything, tired of the damn voice in my ears. It wouldn't let me sleep, wouldn't let me think, wouldn't let me do anything. Those thoughts, for a child, are trauma, fear, and despair. I was tired of myself… I just wanted… a break, just a few minutes, even a few seconds. It wasn't much to ask. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, without hearing my voice in my ears, without thinking about anything, just to sleep in peace…
In the end, I stopped resisting, I stopped fighting, I stopped having control over my body. And by letting the voice in my ears take control, everything exploded along with my father. I don't remember what happened after that. I just opened my eyes, and everything was on fire. I don't know what happened, and everything was in ashes. I don't know what happened, and my mother's gaze changed. I don't know what happened, but her words hurt so much. I don't know what happened to my father; the only thing I found was a charred body. But now I know… I killed him. Even if it wasn't me, my flames did…
Looking at my hands… "I'm a murderer," I told myself constantly, every time I looked at myself, every time I walked past her. She never stopped saying it; it never ended. That's how I lived my life until I enrolled at the academy of my own choice. It was more of an escape route. I wanted to leave my own house, escape my mother, and escape everything. And I saw him; I still remember it. Hidden in the bushes, his presence was comforting. He calmed me, and the murmurs stopped. The voice finally stopped talking. For a few moments, I felt the peace I longed for; for a few seconds, I felt it… I approached timidly, but I did it. Even though I felt nervous, I did it. With all my chaotic thoughts, I did it. I just wanted to be near him, next to him, at peace with him. Only then… could I have thoughts of my own. Only this way… only … I could…