"… Rael."
"… Rael."
I turned back as Viola shoved my shoulder.
Just like previous times, I have walked forward this time as well except the only difference was that I did it deliberately this time instead of actually spacing out like previous loops.
The conversation followed the same path as before and I repeated my lines faithfully.
"Uh… sorry," I muttered. "Got lost in my thoughts."
Viola sighed. "You aren't the main character of some book who gets to drown in an inner monologue while the whole world politely pauses for you. Focus on the real world, will you?"
She said the same thing as previous times and started walking back towards the group. I straightened myself and kept moving.
After all, I had to maintain the act until that creepy stalker decided to collapse the space and that wasn't happening anytime soon. The only reason it had collapsed this early in the previous loop was because Winter had snapped me out of the loop, who for some reason was nowhere to be seen now.
I was following Viola but my senses were focused all around trying to spot that little guy but I didn't see any sign of his existence.
Tsk, who the hell was he then?
'Ra, do you know anything about him?'
"About who exactly?" Ra's echoed in my mind.
'Winter? The blind boy we met in the previous loop?' I asked curiously.
"Who now? Did that monster fry your brain already or something?" Ra's reply came almost immediately.
I frowned as I finally reached my group, who were acting just like they always did, perfectly hiding the fact that they were actually part of some eldritch monster.
'Are you fucking with me or what?' I snapped. 'You know the boy I gave food and chocolate to in the previous loop? The small blind boy who woke me up?'
"Seriously, Rael, you should stop whatever the hell you are smoking because there was no kid in any loop and think about it, why would there even be a kid in this city in the first place?"
He continued, clearly annoyed.
"Though… you did give food and chocolate to someone in the previous loop."
'To who exactly?' I asked immediately, my tone sharpening.
"To thin air, you bastard. I thought maybe the loop broke something in your head or whatever. You were talking to nothing and handing out food and chocolate right before the monster collapsed the space because that wasn't something that ever happened in your memory."
What the hell?
How is that possible?
'Are you serious?' I asked again, refusing to believe that the boy I met was nothing more than some twisted hallucination of my own mind.
"Why would I lie?" Ra replied, his tone sharper now. "I am already wasting my precious energy just talking to you and what would I even gain from lying to my own self?"
'Then why were you suddenly able to contact me after so many loops of not being able to?' I pressed. 'I was sure that blind boy did something and that he woke me up and restored my connection to you.'
My steps and even my mouth never paused in the real world, faithfully performing every action meticulously as we stood in queue to enter DD's Wonder, while my mind spiraled somewhere else entirely.
"I don't know about that. I was trying to contact you ever since the first loop but for some reason our connection was faint. I could see and hear everything from your side but your soul was too clouded to listen to mine."
Ra paused, then muttered,
"I figured it was because although the Trickster domain is part of your soul, it's still another divinity and this divine treasury was resisting a foreign divinity within its domain. So it clouded your connection to me… because you are weak."
"…Then in the last loop, all of a sudden, your soul cleared and our contact was restored."
"I thought maybe it was because you were trying to use the Domain to break through the restrictions but if you really did see some blind kid…" Ra trailed off for a moment. "Then maybe things run a lot deeper than we're thinking."
He clicked his tongue.
"But don't dwell on it now and just focus to nail your timing and get ready to be beaten up by those elves you are about to face."
"I am going offline to start preparations, so I won't be able to respond for a while. So, don't contact me unless it's urgent."
His voice sounded exhausted and weak, making it painfully clear how much he was pushing himself just to help me.
'Hey, Ra… thanks,' I said quietly to my split soul.
"Tsk. I'm doing this for myself anyway. You're a part of the glorious me and I can't have my handsome face getting gulped down by that ugly-ass stalker monster."
"And please, don't act so humble. It disgusts me, even if I know you lost a few memories to make you like that."
With those words, I felt his presence fading from my mind.
Right on cue, we were already standing at the entrance of DD's Wonder. I could smell the luxurious fragrance of countless nobles and influential people gathered on the other side. Even though I knew it was all fake, it still looked and felt damn realistic. The fact that even the scent was accurate was honestly unsettling.
"Don't talk to any creepy guys and if anyone troubles you all, come to me," Alya puffed out her chest, trying her best to look benevolent in front of the group but mostly Noah. "Do you understand?"
I nodded along with the others but my mind wandered.
Did these copies even know they were copies of my memories? Or did they truly believe they were real? Because the way they acted… it was way too damn believable to be anything but real.
Still, I didn't bother thinking too much about it because it wasn't like I was planning to settle here permanently or anything.
I gave the door one last look, then stepped forward without a hint of hesitation, my cloak fluttering behind me.
It was finally time… to put on my most difficult and most painful performance ever.