Kwon Chae-woo wanted to stop his words when he looked at her trembling pupils.
He knew better than anyone that he intended to push her to the limit and torment her.
He had felt angry from the moment he started listening to the audio files Jang Beom-hee had handed him.
How could she pretend to be a fake wife and be so affectionate? For some reason, something deep inside him had twisted grotesquely, even though he didn’t know why.
However, Kwon Chae-woo’s body responded to her, and no matter how much he tried to put up a tough front, in the end, he was the one stumbling. Admitting this simple fact was incredibly difficult for him.
He was afraid of becoming sincere in lies once again. At times, an unjust and peculiar aversion surged in his throat.
“If I put this in Lee-yeon’s mouth, she’d probably throw up from disgust.”
“…”
“If you’re going to do it, you should do it properly from the start.”
Suddenly, the man pushed Lee-yeon onto the bed and took out his part.
“Dammit, don’t treat her like that. Don’t rush to judge everything based on your thoughts and standards. Look at her first. She’s scared. Don’t force yourself on her, you bastard!” Kwon Chae-woo screamed as he watched the scenes unfold.
However, the Kwon Chae-woo of the past continued to push Lee-yeon, sliding three fingers into her mouth, widening the space.
He held her chin roughly and probed her moist interior without showing any emotion. Suddenly, he came to a stop.
His tightly clenched fist, reddening eye area, labored breathing, trembling shoulders – every single reaction pierced him suddenly. He desperately struggled to deviate from the predetermined action.
“This isn’t right… This isn’t what I wanted.”
He sobbed. A sob only he could hear.
“I messed up. I’m sorry for scaring you.”
Kwon Chae-woo knelt under the bed, his head resting on Lee-yeon’s knees. Strangely, his limbs were trembling, and he felt a sudden loss of strength.
“Lee-yeon, you’ve been nervous since then, haven’t you?”
Kwon Chae-woo hugged her body, which was shaking thinly.
He wanted to do this ever since he saw her again.
What if I had trusted our love and waited instead of taking it out on you?
What if instead of looking at you and mocking you, I had told you honestly that I was falling for you too deep for you to even imagine?
As he stroked Lee-yeon’s face, Kwon Chae-woo felt his vision spin once more, but this time, he didn’t panic; he simply kissed Lee-yeon’s ear.
***
“That person, she’s not my husband. I’m not married. It’s a misunderstanding.”
When the slap from her cousin reddened her cheek, Kwon Chae-woo felt like his carefully accumulated anger suddenly paralyzed.
Why am I not your husband? Whose sudden anger is this?
His irritation only seemed to compound as he pondered. Was it that bastard that caused you to cry so much under the tree? Was it all because of people who didn’t even feel like a family?
“Lee-yeon, who am I?”
“I did it because I was afraid Mr. Chae-woo would be embarrassed. I don’t want you to get caught up in such a distressing commotion and experience unpleasant things. Look around at the people here. See the looks on their faces. So, for now, let’s just go with me not being your wife. That’s okay, right?”
Kwon Chae-woo, even though his voice was tinged with tears, laughed bitterly.
“What kind of wife would humiliate her husband in such a way?”
She tried to protect Mr. Kwon Chae-woo from the public eye, even defying her cousin, whom she had feared her whole life. He was foolish and missed or ignored all the sincerity that Lee-yeon showed.
“… I explained everything. “I didn’t want Mr. Kwon Chae-woo to be involved in such a situation.”
She knew what her origins were like. Her family had traumatized her and made her think of herself as something terrible and dirty.
Kwon Chae-woo thought lightly of her effort to put him back in the family position once more.
At the very least, as the one involved, he should have recognized the courage, which was both embarrassing and appreciated. He should have acknowledged it and embraced her, instead of just complaining and chastising her.
What was he doing while she was accepting him, even though it was out of her comfort zone, and she might get hurt again?
Did he make any effort to understand her feelings, even a little?
No, he didn’t. He was only blinded by his anger, without giving any thought to her perspective.
Now, the overwhelming feeling of guilt made Kwon Chae-woo clench his fists so hard that his palms almost bled.
“I’m crying.”
“…!”
However, his voice, filled with malice, inevitably slipped out.
“When did you become so sincere, it’s a shame to break the pretense.”
“… What?”
The moment Lee-yeon’s face stiffened, Kwon Chae-woo controlled the memory by taking over.
“I’m grateful.”
In reality, this was what he wanted to say
“I’m thankful because you’ve tried so hard to protect me.”
“…!”
“But I wanted to protect you in the same way.”
He lightly licked the blood that oozed from Lee-yeon’s torn lips.
“I wasn’t angry at you, it’s just that you were beaten so badly, and I couldn’t stand not being there in your place. Not just today, but also thinking about you being in such situations where I wasn’t present, and even thinking about how you must have suffered when you were younger, it was all too much for me to swallow.”
At the same time, Kwon Chae-woo realized that this place was fake. Just a memory. A dream.
And there was no use for him to change things.
Lee-yeon smiled, seemingly reassured.
Had she ever smiled in front of me since we reunited? An immense emptiness choked him.
As he was staring at his face in disapproval, looking at a counterfeit product that would be easily torn apart, a powerful realization suddenly hit me.
There is no need for a past, a sweet dream, or a fantasy that can’t be rewritten.
What he truly desired was the current So Lee-yeon, who he wanted to hold close. The Lee-yeon who was now turning him away.
He was seeing and manipulating this dream where her wounds and rejections were vivid and alive for his benefit.
A place was a truly unbelievable fantasy, in and of itself.
Kwon Chae-woo had to go to where Lee-yeon really was, frozen and waiting.