“So you’re doing it for real?” asked Choo-ja, surprised. She had just returned.
Choo-ja knew well about Lee-yeon’s aversion to interacting with other people. The constant followers of Lee-yeon from elementary school to university had been rumors, not friends. She was always very anxious and self-conscious among other people.
“Are you really going to do it?” asked Choo-ja again.
“Yes.”
“Didn’t you say that cameramen might be there and too many people?”
“I might get eliminated even before that happens.…” Lee-yeon fidgeted with her hands and avoided Choo-ja’s gaze. “For now, my only goal is to take down D Hospital.”
Choo-ja could only blink, perplexed. She sounded so determined. Why is so determined while looking at Kwon Chae-woo at that? Choo-ja watched Lee-yeon closely. Did something happen?
“Sorry, I am not being any helpful,” said Kwon Chae-woo.
“No! It’s alright. You have always been there.”
His face darkened. No matter how much he thought about it, her words didn’t sound like the compliment it was meant to be. “Lee-yeon, what do you even like about me? I can neither help during the day or night. I feel worthless.”
“That’s because you were like a plant.”
“What?”
Oops. Lee-yeon smiled at him, trying to undo the damage. “I meant that you were always so quiet and gentle, lost in your own world,” she said, “Often you wouldn’t answer my calls. I have always been the one who talked endlessly, while you listened to me quietly.”
Choo-ja nodded, supporting her statement. She was probably talking about the time when he was in a vegetative state. My, my… she can spin very convincing lies.
“…And I became more comfortable with you as time passed.”
Choo-ja frowned. She wasn’t sure whether Lee-yeon was lying to make it sound like the truth or her inner true feelings were actually bursting out of her mouth right now. Sometimes, when you fight a monster, you become the monster. Choo-ja looked at Lee-yeon. Is she lying to deceive him or herself?
“Does that answer your question?” asked Lee-yeon.
Kwon Chae-woo stared at Lee-yeon deeply, as though his gaze was trying to drown her.
* * *
“Should we go to bed now?”
The time had finally come. She had known from the time she had woken him, driven by needless sympathy, that she would not be able to come up with a convincing enough excuse to refuse to share the bed with him. She couldn’t find a way out of this problem. If she suggested using different bedrooms, doubts and questions would surely spring up. And Kwon Chae-woo would forever be suspicious of her.
“I will take a shower and meet you up on the second floor,” she said.
“Well, can we shower together then?”
“What?! No,” said Lee-yeon, shocked.
“Why are you so surprised?” asked Kwon Chae-woo.
“Because I am… I was brought up in a conservative household,” she said hurriedly. “I was always taught it was scandalous to even sit near a boy after the age of seven. I know it sounds weird but that was how I was raised.”
“Wow… does that include your husband too?”
“Marriage is not a free pass to everything, you know.”
“Then what is?” Kwon Chae-woo moved closer to her. “Teach me, Lee-yeon,” he said softly. “There are a lot of things I have forgotten.”
She tried to say something but was at a loss for words.
“Lee-yeon?”
“Y-yes?!” she squeaked.
“I think my self-efficacy will go down if you continuously avoid doing anything with me. You never use me as your husband.”
Lee-yeon couldn’t respond.
“Because I am like this, you neglected me for a week and didn’t wake me up. You don’t really need me. Am I wrong?”
Her blood suddenly ran cold. He wasn’t wrong, and that made her frustrated and embarrassed. It seemed like the man had read her innermost thoughts that she had wanted to hide the most.
“The doctor said nothing is certain yet. And I was always by your side when you were asleep…”
They were pathetic excuses and she knew it. Even Lee-yeon herself found her excuses half-hearted, and she trailed off. The man shook his head as if he didn’t care.
“I only know that you hold my mornings.” His words evoked a strange sense of guilt in her. Her being insincere could make him doubt everything.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to teach me,” he said, “But don’t let that deny me from doing my job as your husband.”
“And that ‘job’ entails taking a shower together?” asked Lee-yeon reluctantly.
He tilted his head and looked at her. “I don’t understand, Lee-yeon. What are you afraid of? We surely have been intimate in our relation before, right? This is just a shower.”
Lee-yeon was lost for words. Her lies were coming back to bite her.
“The reason why we had no interest in having sex might have been probably because we are always so distant,” he suggested, “Be a little open with me.”
Lee-yeon ran out of excuses and no longer had anything to say. She just wanted him to be quiet. “Okay,” she said, “I will let you wash my back. Only my back, nothing more.”
He smiled contentedly.