"And I bought extra for Bella. Pass me the chow mein, won't you, baby?"
The way she said baby towards Noah sent a sting straight through me. My chopsticks froze midair as jealousy burned its way up my chest. God, I wanted to be part of that warmth — to have even a fraction of what they had.
"What's wrong, Bella? Not hungry?"
Her voice snapped me back, and I realized I'd just been staring at my plate, lost in thought. I blinked, forcing myself to smile. I'd been thinking too much again — about Noah, about us, about how I somehow let myself fall for someone who already belonged to someone else. I never meant for that to happen. I just wanted to be his friend.
I finally dug into my orange chicken, the tangy sweetness biting at my tongue, grounding me just enough to hold back the ache in my chest. But even as I chewed, I could feel their eyes on me — Noah's warm and worried, Elara's sharp and studying.
"Are you okay?" Noah asked, his voice breaking through the quiet. That tone — soft, genuine, caring — it made my heart skip.
"Usually you don't eat that slow," he added, smiling faintly. "You can talk to us, Bella. We're here for you, always."
I felt my heart flutter harder than before. He didn't even know what those words did to me.
"Yeah," I said quickly, forcing a laugh, "just spaced out a bit. Long day, you know?"
But inside, my thoughts were screaming.
'You're too sweet, Noah. That's the problem.'
"Alright, well eat up," Noah said, his voice light and comforting as ever.
I nodded and started eating again, falling back into my usual rhythm — quick bites, noisy chewing, the clinking of chopsticks against the plate. The warmth of the food spread through me, chasing away the last bits of tension that had been sitting in my chest. Just being here, beside him, hearing his voice, seeing him smile... it made me feel whole again.
"That's the Bella I know," he said with a small grin.
I couldn't help but smile back, cheeks puffed with noodles, my heart doing that dumb flutter it always did when he said something nice.
-
I let out a loud burp before taking a long sip of my water, the coolness washing down the taste of the noodles. I'd finished way before Elara and Noah — weirdly, that meal filled me up faster than I expected. Usually I could eat three times that much, but tonight, I was done.
"That was good..." Noah murmured, wiping his mouth with a towel. "I wonder how I'd do if I tried making Chinese food at home..."
"It would be better," I said without thinking, grinning a little. It was true — Noah's cooking was always perfect, warm, comforting... him.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Meh, I don't know..." His eyes flicked toward Elara, who leaned back in her chair, rubbing her stomach and sighing contently.
"I think you'd do good, baby," she said with a lazy smile.
I shouldn't have felt that sting of jealousy, but it burned all the same. Elara was my friend, not my rival. So why did hearing her call him that make my heart hurt so much?
"Ah, I forgot—can Bella stay the night? She asked me earlier, and... well, I said yes," Noah said.
He wasn't supposed to admit that I'd been the one to ask, but oh well. I could only hope Elara would agree.
Elara gave me a long, measured look — the kind that made you feel like your thoughts were written across your face. I kept my expression calm, though inside, I could feel that faint, familiar ache. Sharing Noah would never stop hurting a little.
"I suppose that's fine," Elara finally said, resting her chin on her hand. "She'll be taking your old room, I'm assuming?"
Noah nodded. Just the thought of being in his old room made my chest tighten — imagining the things he used to keep there, the way his presence might still linger.
"Well, now that's all settled," Elara said, clapping her hands.
But Noah stood up first. "Actually, I was thinking of baking some cookies while we pick out a movie. Chocolate chip sound good?"
My heart fluttered. Of course it did. The idea of Noah in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, that soft focus in his eyes while he worked—it was almost too much.
Elara smiled at him. "You're too good for us, baby."
I forced a grin, trying to shake off the jealousy that flared up again. She was my friend, not my rival... but sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference.
I leaned back in my chair, watching him gather ingredients. If only I could wake up to this every day... Noah baking, the smell of cookies in the air, and the three of us together, just like this.
I couldn't hold it in much longer. I needed to ask Elara... I had to.
But before I could even open my mouth, Noah called my name. My heart jumped, and I instantly turned toward him, almost too quickly.
"What's wrong, Noah? Need help?" I asked, trying to sound casual as I walked up to him.
He glanced over at Elara, then leaned a little closer to me, lowering his voice so she couldn't hear. "You've been acting different today. I can tell something's up. If you don't wanna talk with Elara there, at least talk to me, okay?"
His words hit harder than I expected. He noticed... of course he did.
"It's... it's just—" I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. "I love—I love..." I forced out a nervous laugh. "I love being your friend. And I've just been, uh, embracing it a lot today, yeah."
I could feel my face burning, and the look in his eyes didn't make it any easier—kind, but curious, like he knew there was more I wasn't saying.
He sighed softly, running a hand through his hair. "This is about the whole boyfriend thing, isn't it? Don't be ashamed, Bella. There's someone out there for everyone." His tone was gentle, almost fatherly. "I remember hearing something from a stranger on the bus once — a dad with his daughter. He told me, 'You'll fall in love with the most unexpected people.' And he was right. You'll find someone, I promise. Don't be ashamed."
He was right — I had fallen for someone unexpected. The most unexpected person of all.
Noah himself.
"Thanks, Noah..." I whispered, my chest tightening. "I love you..." The words slipped out with a sigh. I instantly regretted it — I knew he'd only hear it one way.
"I love you too, Bella," he said, smiling faintly. "You're one of my best friends, or actually my only best friend haha. Also probably the second most trusted person I have."
Second. Not first. My heart ached at the word, but I forced a smile anyway.
Gosh, I just wish he'd love me back the way I love him.