I wanted to talk to you about something that has been weighing on me for a long time. I know that many people are frustrated because I end up abandoning the stories I start. And you have every right to feel that way, I feel terrible about it too.
The truth is that it was right after I abandoned Game Creator System that I realized there was something wrong with me... Even though I had written less than 100 chapters, I was completely exhausted, even though I had written stories with more than 300 chapters before, and I couldn't understand why this was happening to me again and again.
So I decided to seek help from a psychologist.
During this process, I discovered that I am autistic.
This helped me understand a pattern that had been with me for years... Whenever I start a story, I go into such an intense hyperfocus that I write nonstop, stopping doing things I enjoy (playing LoL or other games), stopping going to the gym, and ignoring all my body's limits, staying up until 5 in the morning writing nonstop.
This seems great at first, but after a while, fatigue sets in, I start to feel like doing other things, and burnout comes. In my head, the story becomes a huge weight, even if I still like it.
And then I completely freeze up.
I'm not saying this as an excuse. I know how much this affects those who follow my work. I just want to honestly explain what has been happening to me.
Since then, I've been trying to do things differently. I even tried to go back and write some of the old stories, as you may have seen here, because I really wanted to continue what I left behind, but I realized that I still have a huge block with them. It's as if I can no longer enter that creative space where everything flowed before. And as much as I want to, I still don't know how to get back there.
So, for now, I've decided to focus on continuing my treatment and getting stronger first. What I can promise is that one day, when I'm better, more prepared, and more balanced, I still want to finish those stories, since they're what brought me here.
I tried to get back to “Writing Manga in a Fantasy World,” but I fell into the same pattern of writing intensely and burning out again.
But the good news is that I'm already figuring out how to improve on that.
I've been writing a new story for a few weeks now, and this time in a completely different way: I'm setting daily limits, taking breaks, and being careful with myself.
And the results have been very good.
I'm managing to keep up the pace without burning out, I still do what I enjoy during the day, even though my mind never stops thinking about the story, and that has given me enormous confidence that this story will go far.
I would like to sincerely apologize to those who were disappointed in me. And thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who are still here. I am doing my best to change, with awareness, responsibility, and respect for you... and for myself as well.
Thank you for sticking with me.