Baek Saheon muttered.
“So now you’re an insider and I can talk about it? Haha. …I used to think anyone who started talking about this stuff first was just an idiot, but this… this is how it feels, huh?”
The feeling of being in a situation no one else knows, having to swallow information you can’t share.
It’s almost funny, but I think I understand better than anyone how Baek Saheon feels right now.
Honestly, I should be angry or anxious right now.
I should be angry, disgusted, anxious, and desperate to find a way out.
That would be natural.
But strangely, I’m not.
Instead, there’s this odd… sense of peace.
The feeling that the complicated tomorrow and the near future have become a little hazier.
‘Now that I’m trapped here, I don’t have to think about anything else.’
No more wishing for a favor, no more worrying about Director Ho’s binding, no more scrambling for information in a month, no more thinking about what to do with an agent after my cover’s been blown.
‘Is this just escapism?’
It’s almost laughable, even absurd, that the threat of death makes me feel at ease.
So I could speak calmly.
Without sympathy or anger.
“I see. I understand.”
Vigilance returned to Baek Saheon’s eyes.
“Are you going to say ‘I feel sorry for you, I understand’ and then ask me to let you go, saying this isn’t right?”
“Maybe. But… I know what it’s like to go through daily life in constant fear, unable to relax, always feeling like I might die at any moment.”
He looked at me with a subdued expression.
“Still, it’s fortunate how you chose between the two agents.”
“Why, do you want to die?”
I’m not sure right now.
“Haven’t you ever wanted to die? Not even once?”
Baek Saheon suddenly replied.
“I don’t want to die. If you wanted to die, good for you. You can just stay here, then.”
There was no sign that he was trying to mock me, nor any indication that he was relishing in the fact that I’d been tricked by him. Even though he could easily make fun of me, it didn’t seem to amuse him much.
All I could sense was a selfish desperation for survival.
He didn’t seem to feel any guilt either. Rather, it looked like he had no room left in him for guilt.
‘Come to think of it, it’s always been that way.’
He’s only ever desperately clung to whatever would benefit him, whatever would keep him alive.
But at least, if he doesn’t take pleasure in watching others suffer because of him, or find fun in tormenting people… there might be a different approach.
‘…Still, there’s no way I’m going to just escape into reality until I die .’
In the end, I spoke up.
“Saheon-ssi. If there was a way for both you and me to survive, would you help?”
“You’d just have to go through more trouble than now, and take the risk of being found out.”
“You’re seriously asking if I’d do it? Crazy bastard.”
– Heavens, enough! Even from a narrative perspective, there’s a limit. How can anyone be so rude!
– Ah, Friend. Why are there so many people these days who repay your kindness with betrayal? This Braun’s heart aches as well.
…The plushie started talking again.
– Allow me to help you. First, let’s get out of here.
– Then let’s show them what karma really means. Wouldn’t that be thrilling and satisfying?
The plushie fell silent.
‘I’ll do it myself. Wouldn’t that be more entertaining for you?’
– Well… I suppose it would be best for things to flow with the right support!
I finished my conversation with the plushie and looked at Baek Saheon again.
Since I didn’t expect anything from him in the first place, I spoke with complete indifference.
“But Saheon-ssi. I’m going to die because of you.”
“I’m only someone who came here to rescue you but couldn’t because there was no way to do it. I’m dying because you pushed me into this spot.”
“How is this my fault?”
Baek Saheon’s face twisted.
“Did I fucking tell anyone to kill someone if they got the special prize? Did I shove someone into the shrine and kill them? Someone else does the killing! So what, am I just supposed to die instead? That…”
Raging and swearing brings misfortune.
At the same time, both Baek Saheon and I turned toward the sliding door.
A muttering could be heard.
Raging and swearing brings misfortune. Raging and swearing brings misfortune. Raging and swearing brings misfortune. Those who forget, disappear. Those who forget, disappear. Those who forget, disappear. OChosenOnedeliveruntoustheblessingofJisanofthecountlesspeaksOChosenOnedeliveruntoustheblessingofJisanofthecountlesspeaksOChosenOnedeliveruntoustheblessingofJisanofthecountlesspeaks
Baek Saheon stared at the door with a face gone white.
There was clearly nothing there, but the sound of the traditional band outside grew louder and louder…
He went over to the opposite side of the door, crouched, and covered his head.
It was hard to believe this was the same person who normally caused all kinds of trouble without hesitation. He was utterly powerless.
‘Is this a trauma response?’
Maybe this would work.
After a brief hesitation, I opened my mouth and spoke toward the sliding door.
“I’m sorry. I was so flustered that I swore.”
The muttering stopped.
“That wasn’t appropriate for the festival. I’ll try to speak more politely from now on.”
The sliding door stayed perfectly still.
The sound of the traditional band resumed, gradually growing more distant.
Until it completely faded into the festival noise.
He got up from the corner by the sliding door, drenched in cold sweat, and looked at me with a confused expression.
“I just helped you not die, again.”
“Don’t you feel even a little grateful?”
“…So you’re telling me, if I’m grateful, I should die instead?”
“You make it sound like saying thank you would come at an unbearable price.”
Baek Saheon looked at me as if to say, ‘What are you even talking about?’
“Do as you wish. Seems your life is very precious to you.”
Then I looked down at my feet.
“But my life is precious to me, too. Even though I sometimes think about wanting to die.”
After a long silence, Baek Saheon finally spoke.
“So what exactly is this way for both of us to live?”
I slipped my still-free hand into my pocket and rolled a silver badge around in my fingers.
Because, just now, after hearing Baek Saheon’s words, I realized what kind of ghost story this is.
I’m going to plant doubt in their faith.
God-making, liberation from the world’s truth, rituals shared only by a select few, resurrecting the dead, scapegoats…
All of it pointed to one thing.
This is a ghost story under the Church of the Luminous Unknown.