Asher was on his knees crying as he begged me not to leave. It feels like my heart is pounding but I shouldn't show him that I am affected. I will do this for our own good and so that he will not be hurt. I know how much he loves me but I have to do this. I love him as well. I love him so much. But sometimes love is not enough to lessen or remove all the pain.
"Ashley, I love you with all my heart. You are the first and I promise to be the last. If I did something, if I hurt you, if you didn't like something, please, forgive me. Ash, from now on I will tell you every move I make. I will let you know everything I do so that you will not be angry with me." I remain calm and knelt to match him. Seeing him hurting hurts me more. Seeing him crying is like I stab in my heart hundreds of times. But I need to do this.
"It's not your fault, Asher. It's was my fault because I defiled my marriage during the times you were away," I said and smile bitterly.
"W-what do you mean?" he asked as he continued to cry.
"I cheated on you while you were away and I found someone else, better than you." I don't want to hurt him but I need to because when he finds out the real reason why I leave, he will feel more pain. I don’t want him to blame himself for why he left me and choose to prioritize work. So, I will sacrifice my dignity as much as I can even he will think differently about me.
"Why?" He asked and I feel his pain. I did not see any hatred, I only see pain and sadness in his eyes. A sadness of a loving husband that did everything on his wife but still cheated on him.
"Because I've been free for a while when you're away. I'm sorry, but I think I want to be free again. To be former Ashley Lewis so let's end this."
"I will still accept you. You will still be free and I will let you do whatever you want as long as you stay by my side. I will forget this night that I found out everything you did." He begged but I shook my head.
"I'm no longer happy with you. You cannot provide all my needs. You have no warmth for me and I am no longer happy with you in bed. You need not my expectation in bed. Your performance is not good." Then I stand up but he grabbed my legs and hug while crying.
"Please, Ashley, I am begging you. Please don't leave me." I shook my feet to remove his hands and walked towards the door. But I immediately stopped when he spoke.
"Ash," he calls me in a serious tone. "When you walk out that door just think that you left me dead." I looked at Asher who was clenching his fist tightly and looking at me seriously.
"Once you leave me, you have nothing to return to." I glanced at him and wanted to hug him and tell him the truth. But I chose not to listen to him anymore and I headed out.
"I will and goodbye." Forgive me, Asher, when I loved you, I promised that you will be the last. But I did not know that I would be given such a test like this and destiny wants us to separate. You are the only one I love, and I knew that no one can replace you. But I can’t afford to see you get hurt because of me. Someday you will forget me too and you will understand my choices. I wished you happiness, thank you for loving me, and GOODBYE.