"You may not think much of me except for a convenient woman to…to f-fuck when you get the urge, but I believe that I deserve to ask this much when you told me to state my terms," Long Jinjing said.
Lu Zihao frowned but still remained silent and let her continue talking.
With teary eyes, she forced herself to look straight at Lu Zihao's eyes for the first time tonight. "I don't need your love or anything hopeless like that, Mr. Lu. I know that it's impossible between us, anyway. I'm not that desperate for a man either. After all, I'm still young and I have time. Mr. Lu, all I want is respect! That's all I'm asking for. Respect."
She looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly to prevent herself from embarrassing herself any further by crying like a baby.
"All I want is respect," she repeated in a whisper. "Not only from you, Mr. Lu. But from other people as well who might discover that we're sleeping with each other. And most importantly, I want respect for myself. I don't think I'll be able to look at myself with respect if I allow myself to…to…to become your personal slut!"
A furious expression appeared on his face but he smoothed it out just as quickly. Once again, she thought that she must have imagined it.
"You are not a slut," he told her in a too calm, almost scary tone. "Far from it. And trust me, I know. I've fucked many other sluts and they're nothing like you. I also never fucked any of them in more than one meeting."
Despite her current emotional state, she couldn't help but chuckle at his words. "That makes me feel a little better, I guess. Thanks."
She smiled, although deep inside, she felt uncomfortable confirming that he had indeed slept with a lot of women before. And with sluts, too. At least, he didn't discriminate.
He grunted at her thanks. "This is the first time I'm talking this much to a woman I've bedded and planning to bed again. I don't usually like wasting my time with words and prefer to go straight to foreplay and fucking."
"You're the one who wanted to negotiate with me."
"That's because you won't let me fuck you again." He sighed and finally released her. Then he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed again.
Finally free, she attempted to put some distance between them but he caught her again before she could move. Not really wanting to struggle against his hold, she decided to sit there beside him on the couch and allow him to hold her arm.
"Jinjing, do you also want to fuck me again?" he asked, activating his wickedly seductive voice.
A delicious shiver went up her spine but she forced herself to remain clear-headed.
"Don't lie to me," he said.
"I…" She bit her lower lip and avoided looking at him again. "Yes."
"Say it."
Her face and neck were burning hot in embarrassment but she still replied, "Yes, I want to f-fuck you again."
He groaned and pulled her into his arms before attempting to kiss her but she covered his mouth with a hand before his lips could touch hers.
"My terms first, Mr. Lu," she reminded him. "I may want to…to have sex with you again but that doesn't mean that I have to."
He let her go and didn't reply.
A wry smile appeared on her face. She thought that his silence equalled refusal. Well, it wasn't really surprising that he would refuse her demanding terms. She never expected him to agree in the first place, anyway. However, she still had to lay down her terms clearly to him for the sake of her self-respect and the need to not make the same mistakes as her mother did.
Just having the courage to tell him her exact conditions was already enough to make her a little proud of herself. She swore never to regret her decision. This was for the sake of her dignity as a woman.
Whether Lu Zihao agreed to her terms or not wouldn't make her feel like a failure. Not at all. Why should she, anyway? She wasn't the one who started this negotiation of terms in the first place.
No matter what happened tonight, it would just be part of her unforgettable memories in the future. At least, she could say that she was brave enough to take a firm stand according to her personal values despite being attracted to Lu Zihao, the man she allowed to take her virginity.
When the silence stretched for too long, she didn't want to wait anymore. This was her home, her safe place. She should never feel awkward or uncomfortable in her own place. She stood up but he pulled her back down again.
"Mr. Lu, let me go," she said, glaring at him. "I know that my terms are impossible for you so please leave—"
"Don't expect regular dates," he said all of a sudden.
She stopped and blinked, her expression filling with confusion. "What?"
"Or for me to say mushy, sweet nothings. I don't do those."
Her heart beat a little faster and her stomach started fluttering. She stared at him with eyes and mouth wide open in disbelief but also…excitement.
Was he…?
No way!
She forced herself to remain silent and wait for him to finish speaking.
"I don't like drama or any of that nagging shit," he continued to say. "I especially don't like any passive-aggressive behaviour. If you have a problem with me, say it to my face. I can't read your mind so you better tell me what you want to say."
She swallowed. Her heart was now racing. She also found it a little hard to breathe.
"Another thing, my sister is very important and close to me. If you fight with her, I'll side with her. Always. So don't give me shit about it in the future."
That made her scowl. "Xiulan is MY sister! And you took the words out of my mouth, Mr. Lu. If you fight with MY sister, I'll side with her. Always."
He shrugged before becoming serious again. "I also don't like to be disturbed when I'm busy working. So no annoying and unnecessary calls or texts demanding where the hell I am. I hate those."
She became silent again, continuing to listen to his unbelievable words in this unbelievable discussion.
"Regarding my work, I don't like being questioned about it. Just know that I own a bunch of small businesses and leave it at that."
His expression hardened when he said this so she knew that he was serious. It was clear from his attitude that talking about his work was off-limits.
"In short, don't expect romance from me," he finally said.
She took a sharp inhale before stammering, "I…I'm n-not."
He leaned forward until their faces were only inches apart from each other. "I told you that I don't do relationships. I've never had a girlfriend before, only bedmates. I only fuck, Jinjing."
"Then…w-why…?"
"Why am saying all these?" He smirked, a mocking smile directed at himself, not at her. "Hell, if I know. You're so bad for me, Jinjing. So bad. But you know what they say? The more it's bad for you, the more you'll crave it."