[ I wish your parents were serious too that night. Their one night fcuk result is now about fcuk this world. ]
That one burned but it’s not the first time I heard my insult.
I still remember that man who insulted me when I was just driving my Mercedes with utmost passion. I figured he must be jealous so I didn’t pay that much mind to his insult and continued playing GTA.
Anyway, I ignored the system and focused on the mission.
Jack was hovering in front of me like a sage who found nirvana but doesn’t know it’s just a MLM scheme, he was half a feet above the floor with his legs crossed.
And now that he was also escaping the prison with me, I have to clear out some things like a woman deciding alimony before the divorce.
"You can’t go more than five meters away from your dead body. Is that right?"
"So to take you with me, your body needs to be moved along as well?"
"Yes. That’s the way. Just like you show candy to make a kid walk to your house. That’s only logical."
"... I don’t do all this, bro. What is wrong with you? You are dead so you won’t face a thing but I am alive!"
"Right. Sorry for that. I shouldn’t spread false accusations. You don’t use candies for that."
"... Forget it. You said I have to take your dead body with me. But it is dirty right now. It stinks. Moving your dead body might be logical but it’s definitely not hygienic. If I touched it, dermatologists would become millionaires treating me."
"I don’t care. You agreed to take me. You can’t go back on your words. You have to take my dead body with you."
"I know. And I won’t go back on my words. I just have to think of something that could make me not hesitate to touch your body."
"You can remove its clothes. Then perhaps you won’t hesitate to touch it?"
"... The only hesitation it would remove is my hesitation to go back on my words. So no."
"I see. Then you think of a way yourself."
I sighed and rested my head on the wall.
I don’t want to touch the dead body because it stinks like the diaper I found in a dustbin along with the child. Just focus on the diaper part.
So the problem isn’t the dead body. It’s the stench.
And the solution to the stench would only be...
[ Yes. You are thinking in the right direction. The only way to remove the stench is... ]
The system made me confident of my answer. He and I both shared the only way to remove the stench at the same time. And it was to...
’Hold my breath as long as the body is near me.’
[ Giving it a bath. ]
’... Yeah. That could work too.’ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴠɪsɪᴛ ɴovelfire.net
[ That’s the only way it could work! Why do you always think something entirely different and don’t you dare say that you always think out of the box. The only thing out of the box for you is the prize of the best MC. ]
’My idea wasn’t bad though.’
[ Yes. It wasn’t bad. It was a masterplan... for suicide. Like a group of thieves planning to rob a bank every month by working in it till retirement not realizing that they are just doing a job and their monthly loot is just their salary!
That’s how bad your plan was. How long could you have held your breath? This prison has ten levels and if you are taking Jack with you then his body would stay with you till the end. You would have to hold your breath for ten levels. You’re not the Hero King now. You don’t have the unlimited breathing Skill anymore. ]
’I get it. I get it. I’ll go with your plan now. Jack is going to take a bath.’
I stood up from the floor.
"I hope you are not against having a bath?" I asked.
Jack shrugged. "My body is dead anyway. I can’t go inside it. So you can do whatever you want with it. Whatever you want."
"Don’t emphasize the same word. I just want to get out of here. Nothing else."
"Sure. Give it a bath. Make sure to be gentle around the balls. I am sensitive there."
"... I am not going to give you a nuru massage bath, man. Don’t share your preferences."
I shook my head and turned to the dark corner and shivers ran down my spine.
I still remember the sound of those never getting bored with only one dead body flies and that expired viagra-like stench of flesh. I don’t even want to touch the body to give it a bath.
But I am a man of my word. Jack had lived alone in this cell for so many years so I will make sure he sees the sun for the first time in a while.
[ You are only taking him out because he gave you that women’s measurement offer. Don’t act benevolent now. You don’t give a fuck about his loneliness. ]
’Geez. You talk bullshit. Are you one of those who fail on the first day of NNN and then preach how masturbation is healthy and why everyone should do it?’
[ I don’t even have parts required for masturbating! And no, shut the fuck up. Focus on the work. ]
"First, let’s bring your body out from the corner. I haven’t even seen what it looks like."
I held my breath and walked towards the corner.
I felt Jack’s shoes with my feet and stopped walking. I had reached near his legs.
Then I bent down and—
"Jack, float in front of me first. I don’t want to take any risks. You are not allowed to stand behind me as long as I live."
Jack adjusted his pants and now floated in front of me.
Wait... Why was he adjusting his pants? Welp, I don’t want to know. I am just glad I called him in the front on time.
I know he can’t touch me but fucking hell, he could still make me feel some sensations. And I know a bad touch when I feel one.
After making sure Jack was really in front of me, I bent down and held his dead body’s feet.
And just as I did that, I saw everything I had done in my both lives.
My body remembered Malthus’ punch, the backlash of God of War skill, the deed I did with my landlord because I wasn’t able to pay rent, the fine I paid to a lingerie showroom for mistaking their saleswoman as a mannequin, and the beating I received from a group of parents just because I asked their kids to test a perfume I made out of chloroform.
My nose cried from the stench. It cried like a man at his wife’s funeral because she turned out to be alive.
My hands hurt by the feet of the flies as if they were wearing high heels.
My eardrums turned to flutes of an asthma patient by the buzzing of insects.
All of this happened even when I was holding my breath!
Nevertheless, now that I have faced torture anyway, might as well finish the job.
I summoned strength and began dragging the body.
The goal was to place it in the center of the cell where the light from the fire torch was in the most amount.
I dragged it like a feminist drags the topic of equal pay and in three minutes, I finally managed to bring it to light at the center of the cell.
But damn, now I know how much strength I have lost. I had gotten all that strength easily that’s why I never cared for it. My arms are literally buzzing as if I lifted a strong independent woman who thinks MMA is the rival of KFC.
But this weakness, that’s pathetic for a MC.
After placing the body in the center, I slumped on the floor like a man who came after work and saw no food on the table because his wife is too woke to make food, and only after catching my breath, did I pay attention to Jack’s dead body.
He wore the same type of clothes, brown coat, brown shirt, brown pants, brown shoes. His hair was the same, his beard was the same.
Everything matched between Jack’s dead body and Jack’s ghost appearance.
There was no problem.
If there was no problem, then it wouldn’t look like my life, right?
What I saw made me question reality.
On the chest of Jack’s dead body...
What I am trying to say is...
The ghost, Jack Mihoff, had boobs the size of bowls on his chest!
And the worst part...
The bastard had three of them with one being in the Middle!