I have understood something.
I figured something out.
If you click on I am not over 18 at the porn website, you will be redirected to the kids version.
Wait... shit. Scratch that. Wrong memory awakened. Find the newest release on NoveI[F]ire.net
I was talking about what I understood after hearing the system’s advice.
I have an extinguished fire torch in my hand—that’s what she said—and when I touched the part where the fire comes from, an idea hatched into my mind.
The guards were reaching closer, Johnson was even closer. I have to do something before he could stand in front of my mouth, I am on my knees right now after all and Johnson won’t let this chance go to waste.
So without waiting for anything, I grabbed the small spark that was on Jack’s dead body’s chest.
The spark was hot but Johnson must be hotter, and I had no intention of cooling down his weather.
I held the spark soft enough like a surgeon holding a testicle while performing sex change surgery, and placed it on top of the fire torch.
And just when I did that, the spark grew brighter and my face went through the same thing as well.
The last time I was this happy while seeing a spark was when I was burning all my porn magazines. Because the digital age had arrived and there was no need to hide them in my grandmother’s bedroom anymore. Grandpa was sad about this though. Those magazines were the only thing satisfying him after grandma turned old.
Coming back, the spark in the fire torch had gained some life as the fire torch had some kind of inflammable substance but it still wasn’t enough to give birth to a full blown fire. I wanted fire like a Charizard, and the current fire was like a low budget VFX done by a man after hitting post nut clarity—Soft, light and full of regret.
I needed more. More fire.
And for that, I remembered my system.
It said that great men create opportunities for themselves. They don’t wait for it like a man waiting for a girl on whom he could apply the knowledge he received from Jules Jordan.
That’s why I would create opportunities myself.
I roamed my hands around the floor I was sitting on like a blind guy looking for his apple vision pro.
And my luck must be on the peak right now—unlike my story—as in just a second, I found what I was looking for.
I held them in both of my hands and recalled Bear Grylls’ teachings.
I brought the stones closer and rubbed them. I rubbed harder than the time I was in a crowded bus behind a woman.
The stone made sounds, sparks and Johnson saw that too.
I spared him no glance but his next words explained the expressions of his face.
"Heh. You think you are some caveman? Nothing happens by rubbing two stones. All of that is fiction. The only fire you are going to make out of them is... I couldn’t come up with anything to say after that, just know that I am insulting you."
"... If you can’t finish a dialogue, don’t start it."
"I wasn’t talking to you."
"Angh. Guards, move fast. Capture him. I will kill him myself."
I rubbed the stones faster, harder but nothing came out of them. Is it really fiction or do I just suck?
Did I watch Beer Grills instead of Bear Grylls? Angh. I must have watched a parody of it. God, I hate parodies.
I stopped rubbing the stones and from the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the guard whom Johnson had thrown.
He was squirming, lying beside me, hurt by getting slammed on the wall.
But what caught my eye was his bald head and seeing that... I decided to trust the parodies for now.
I brought the fire torch near his head along with the stones.
I threw one stone away and did something outrageous with the other stone.
I rubbed that sharp, rigid, black stone on the guard’s bald head and for the love of physics, chemistry Gods...
The stone and the bald head created a spark, and a spark so strong that when it fell on the fire torch, it instantly lit up again.
Fcuk the logic. If people could go inside their dreams or nightmares and get stronger in the real world, then a bald head could produce fire too!
But now that the fire torch was lit, my surroundings became clear. The dark corner I was in wasn’t dark anymore and finally, the guards saw me.
The warmth of the fire torch, the orange flame danced in front of me like an underrated stripper but my eyes were locked onto the guards and their expressions.
My face was covered, only my mouth area was open, but if anyone showed any over the top reaction, I would like to believe that they recognised that I am the Hero King.
"Holy Shit!!" Johnson exclaimed.
This could certainly be counted as an over the top reaction because surely, no would say holy shit by looking at my bare chest with six packs ribs visible and naked mouth.
But I think Johnson was just shocked by my appearance because he may be a pervert but being the chief guard he surely must have some standards for men, he won’t go all Johnny Sins for skinny men.
"You are just my fucking typeee!!"
Another over the top reaction and this time it was from Jack?
"Why the hell are you shouting now? Didn’t we agree that you won’t do that type of shit with me?"
"Did you forget, pal?" He said and smirked. "I am merely reading his mind right now."
I jerked my head at Johnson who was all red on his face and wasn’t meeting my merely visible eyes.
My lips twitched. "Are you seriously blushing right now? And this is your type? Thin hands and no muscles? You bloody shota-con."
"Well, I believe..." Johnson shrugged.
"Thin bananas are the sweetest ones."