Johnson’s father hated women. And not like those guys who say they hate women to sound cool while in reality, they just can’t impress them at all. I am not talking about me of course. I am different. I don’t hate women and I also can’t impress them.
Anyway, after hating women, Johnson’s father was lonely so he decided to have a son. Not a daughter. A son. Mostly because if he got a daughter, he might not be able to raise her well because of his wrath and rage towards all the women.
Hence, he found the best woman he could, killed her husband, kidnapped her and fucked her to make her carry his baby like a careless human father giving his baby to an kangaroo for carrying it.
Johnson’s father was strong, I mean, he was a commander of Malthus’ army after all, so the woman must have been overpowered by the man and had no choice but to agree to conceive the baby of Johnson’s father.
Like that, Johnson was born and I expected a happy ending like every massage parlour genre porn but just after Johnson was born, his father brought an old man and that old man did some sorcery or shit on Johnson’s mother and in an instant, she changed into a man! The old man was the final boss of the gender bender genre. Medical knowledge, Who?
Me and Jack both heard the story and we both shouted our reactions.
"How is that even possible?"
"Call that old man here this instant!"
Me and Jack both were surprised and it was the first time when I agreed with Jack.
"Yes. Call that old man right here." I said.
"Yeah. Call him right here." Jack added.
"Why?" Johnson asked.
Jack and I looked at each other.
"He is asking why, pal."
I nodded. "Yeah. That he is."
Jack smiled. "Shall we tell him?"
"Alright. We shall say it at the same time." Jack spoke and did a countdown.
"One!" Jack said and in unison, we both answered:
"Call the old man here because I will ask him biology questions."
"Call the old man here because I want him to turn me into a woman so I can get laid without any problems."
I jolted my head at the ghost.
"You want the old man to do what to you?"
"Don’t judge me, pal. This is for the best. If I was a woman, I would have gotten what I wanted all along. You would have agreed to do me as well."
"What the hell? If you were a woman from the start then I would have done it. But I won’t do it now that I know you were a man before." Updates are released by NoveIＦire.net
"Nah. You would have done it. One glimpse of a cleavage and you would be on the floor crying to get a hold of me."
"... First of all, I wouldn’t be on the floor crying. I would have probably asked for a squeeze. And I am asking this once and for all to you... Are you gay?"
I had to clear this shit. I needed a clear answer. As clear as roads in Car ads on TV.
Jack stayed silent for a while and then with a long thought, he finally said:
"What kind of answer is that?" I roared.
Jack shrugged. "Some questions don’t have any answers. Sometimes you have to choose both options a and b instead of all of the above or none of the above."
"I am not taking an entrance exam, you sick fuck."
"Oh. This is an entrance exam, pal. After all, being gay and straight is all about which entrance a man chooses."
My brows twitched. This guy’s philosophies were out of this world. Sun Tzu wrote art of war. He would write art of Jizz.
"And, pal." Jack added. "You are not the one to ask me questions when you also want that gender changing old man here to ask biology questions. That’s an even worse reason than mine."
"I would have asked him biology questions to know whether he was a phony or not."
"Phony? Pal, that man literally turned his mother into a man. Of course he is not a phony."
"This guard could be lying. No way someone can change the gender of someone so easily."
"I am not lying, human. The old man really changed the gender of my mother with just a snap of his fingers. He was bestowed a Skill from our God Softior. The God of Fertility Fraud."
Johnson joined his palms as he said all that.
"Your God is called Softior and he even has a title called the Fertility Fraud? Here I thought Supreme Man was a bad name."
"Don’t make fun of our God! Because of his powers we captured planets after planets. Lord Malthus has great strength all because he is the greatest devotee of God Softior."
"No shit. Now I know why he is impotent. What else can one get from worshipping someone like that?"
"Don’t make fun of Lord Malthus! I will ki—"
"Tell me what your mother did after that old man grew a banana from a coconut tree."
Johnson quivered his brows. "What? Banana? Coconut?"
I sighed. "What did your mother do after the old man turned her into a man?"
"Well, she or rather... he was angry but my father was strong so one slap and my mother behaved and now both are living happily."
Wow. This is a good way to slap your wife without any lawsuits.
But there was one more question.
"How did you grow up?" I asked. "Your father should have waited at least a few months for gender change to make sure you drink your mother’s milk."
"Mother’s milk is OVERRATED!"
Johnson erupted and I was taken aback.
"Dude, mother’s milk isn’t a youtuber. It can’t be overrated. What are you talking about?"
"We talk so often about mothers that we forget the sacrifices of our fathers. This is not justice, human. Fathers matter too." Johnson suddenly awakened men’s rights in him. But...
"Bro, fathers have nothing to do with what I am talking about right now. Yes, they are good and all, but babies need food."
"I know. But when mothers aren’t available, there is only one way to feed the baby."
"I hope you are talking about cow’s milk?"
"No! My dad gave me his milk!"
I banged Jack’s dead body’s head on the wall this time.
And I just realised I can’t even give a mother related abuse to Johnson because his mother is a father too!