Chapter 9 – A Loner’s View on Relationships
After all that, I was fortunate enough to have another weekly gathering with Asanagi-san, so… I decided to apologize to her for eavesdropping on her confession the other day.
“Ah, that happened, huh? It’s fine, don’t worry about it. You just happened to be there and didn’t actually tail me, right? In that case, it was completely on me.”
I thought her mood would worsen if I brought that up, but instead, she just dismissed it lightly as she ate the pudding she bought at the convenience store.
“You sure?”
“Well, I don’t mind being asked out. The reason why I snuck out instead of announcing it to everyone was out of consideration for the other person… After all, someone might start unpleasant rumors between both of us, like Nitta from our class, she would do something like that.”
“Nitta would be… that girl you usually hang around with, right, Asanagi?”
“Right. Well, I don’t know if she would gossip about me, but she did gossip about other people, as you could expect.”
As I promised, I decided to hide the fact that I had run into Amami-san and Nitta-san there. It’s completely on them to decide what they would do.
Of course, I also hid the fact that I got Amami-san’s phone number.
Then again, it’s Asanagi-san we are talking about, she would notice Amami-san’s antics easily.
“I wonder if I should ask you this, but…”
“Mm?”
“Asanagi… aren’t you rather popular?”
“Mmm… Well, not really? I’m not as popular as Yuu.”
If getting confessed by five people in less than half a year was an average number (according to Nitta-san), then how many confessions did Amami-san get?
“What wrong? Are you jealous, Maehara?”
“Not really… Well, I just thought that being popular sounds troublesome…”
“Hmm… Why?”
“Maybe it’s because I’m a loner?”
Even if she asked me why I couldn’t really answer her.
In my case, I was bad enough at socializing that it was hard for me to ask my classmate to befriend me. I don’t think someone like me should shamelessly talk about matters concerning love and relationships.
“Try to explain it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to laugh at you.”
“There’s the ‘I’m not going to laugh at you’ line… If anything, you’re just raising the hurdle for me.”
“Haha, it’s fine, it’s fine. Just tell me what’s on your mind, Maehara.”
“Fine…”
Well, even if she’s going to laugh at me, Asanagi’s the only one here, so it should be fine, I guess…
“…Well, to me, I can’t understand it, being popular and stuff. I mean, people will look up to you when you’re popular, right? They would try to get to know you better and somehow form a special relationship with you?”
“Mhm, that’s true.”
Of course, being popular isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It proves that you have a special charm that attracts people, it’s better than attracting malice at the very least.
However, being popular isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
Case and point, the boy who confessed to Asanagi-san the other day.
“There are all kinds of people around you, including those you have no interest in and those you secretly hate… Dealing with those people would be troublesome, no? They don’t even care about you, so why must you be mindful of them?”
Even Asanagi-san had to be careful back then when she replied to that boy’s confession. Sure, they might be people who would straight up say, ‘I don’t like you’ or ‘You’re gross’ and dismiss such confessions outright, but Asanagi-san wasn’t one of them. Besides, it would create an unnecessary grudge.
People’s emotions, their likes, and dislikes were tricky to deal with.
“When I think about it, I feel glad that I’m not popular. Sure, it’s hard to be a loner, but that means I don’t have to worry about such things.”
“…That’s quite a lonely thought.”
“I know. Well, I guess that’s why I’m a loner.”
Unless I change this way of thinking, I will probably keep on leading this boring lifestyle for a long time.
I’ve been trying to find the courage to take a step forward but I always fell short.
“…There, a loner’s perspective on relationships.”
“Mm. That sounds like what a virgin would say.”
“Oof.”
That actually hurts. But she’s not wrong, so I can’t refute.
“Well, I don’t hate the loner Maehara, on the contrary, I like him. Of course, only as a ‘friend’, don’t misunderstand that, okay?”
“Of course. Me too, I like Asanagi, but, only as a ‘friend’, you shouldn’t misunderstand that either.”
“Oh, really? You’re saying something like that now? Acting cocky even though you are a virgin.”
“What? You wanna go? Sure, I won’t hold back today, I’ll give you ten, no, a hundred rounds for you to beat me. I’ll make sure to turn you into swiss cheese.”
“I’m ready whenever. You’ll fall to my godly aim anyway.”
“So cocky even though you just barely know how to play.”
Asanagi and I put an end to our relationship talk as we turned our gaze toward the game screen once more.
I think this is more suitable for me than complicated things like other people’s likes and dislikes.