At this moment, Mu Yi looked disheveled, somewhat declaimed, even his gaze lacked the usual spirited exuberance, overtaken instead by... helplessness.
And an irritability he himself was not aware of. Day after day of investigations and interrogations were eroding his psychological defenses, even though he thought he wouldn’t say anything, in reality, changes had already occurred...
"I heard you were going to be taken away, naturally, I had to come see you.
Mu Yi, do you believe me? I truly liked you once, wanted to spend my life with you, to have a child that belonged to us both."
Bai Xin said this earnestly, at that time, she really thought the issues between the two of them were minor, it was just that Mu Yi was loafing around the grocery store, not knowing to return home.
At home, she actually received the utmost respect from him, perhaps there was no deep love, no fondness, but at least there was mutual respect.
Her demands were not high, nor did she need an especially eloquent husband; she was a straightforward person herself, and getting by was enough for her.
But she never expected that from the beginning, it was all a deception.
"Even this time, I was thinking I needed to get treatment, I wanted to lead a good life with you, but what happened? Mu Yi, tell me, how have you managed to keep up the pretense for so many years?"
Bai Xin kept a close watch on Mu Yi’s expressions, always remembering to stir his emotions.
"I..." His lips quivered. He had so much he wanted to say, but when he opened his mouth, he found he couldn’t utter a single word.
"I came back happily, just thinking of having a good life with you, your mother drugged me, I thought that was the worst of it. Little did I know, you even poisoned me. You’re really something.
After being deceived by you for so many years, all the affection vanished the moment I learned about your son, I even started loathing myself, how could I have been so blind to actually think you really liked me?"
Bai Xin’s hands trembled slightly, as she also held back her own emotions, telling Xingxing she was fine.
It’s just a man, after all.
Isn’t it better being by myself?
Just the thought of her naive past self made her feel stifled.
Years of anger from being deceived swept over her; and hatred for being poisoned surged like a deluge, wanting to kill the man before her.
But, there was no need. Truly no need.
He wasn’t worth her emotional upheaval.
"I’m sorry, I was indeed using you at the beginning, I myself don’t know whether I used you more, or liked you more."
If it was really just about using someone, he could have just used Bai Da, that fool, right? But in the end, he chose to plot against Bai Xin.
He thought, at that time, he must have had feelings, only they were overshadowed by ambition, which made them invisible.
"I’m telling the truth, the first time I saw you, I found you adorable. You made my heart skip a beat. But later, ambition took precedence, I told myself, I didn’t like you, I didn’t love you, I was just using you."
For a while, he was somewhat immersed in the joy of newlywed life, jubilant at the sight of her. He told himself he couldn’t, and personally found the infertility drugs, watching her take them.
Back then, he was willing to cook for her, to stay home all day for her.
The moment she ingested them, he felt, his heart, too, became hidden away.
He convinced himself that Bai Xin was just a tool.
Later, when they offered him no help, he had new tasks; of course, he couldn’t spend all his time at home with her anymore.