Bai Zhi now was the true Bai Zhi, having let go of everything. When she looked back, all those past events seemed distant.
If she hadn’t gone to the modern age and returned, she would have surely turned bitter and twisted.
Those memories, filled with discontent and unrest.
She despised Bai Da’s partiality, hated how Bai Yu and Bai Ye wrecked her life, detested Ye Xiu’s inaction.
Apart from her grandfather, everyone else plunged her into darkness.
Even if given another chance, Bai Zhi didn’t know what she would do.
Because of the hate orchestrating schemes and seeking revenge, she plunged herself into the abyss of darkness, or perhaps...
Bai Zhi didn’t know, the only thing she knew was that because she’d been to the modern age and lived another lifetime, she no longer cared when she looked back.
"At that time, I was desperate. Every day without my grandfather, my heart was engulfed in darkness, with no salvation in sight. I longed to do anything possible to gain their attention."
Even if it meant just a little bit, even if it turned her into a bad child.
All she wanted was that little bit of care and attention.
Actually, Ye Xiu shouldn’t be blamed, she was being controlled.
But she still couldn’t forgive, because at the end of the day, Ye Xiu didn’t shine even the faintest light into her darkness.
Bai Yu and Bai Ye were the start of her darkness, and Bai Da was the source of it.
They gave her boundless despair, until she finally sunk into darkness.
She couldn’t climb out because without the light from her grandfather, she desperately clung to whatever she could grasp.
She was sad; engulfed in darkness, yet she couldn’t bring herself to act and could only intimidate Nan Xi in the end, while Bai Yu and Bai Ye didn’t hold back.
"If I had been reborn from the start, I think I would have killed Nan Xi without hesitation, beaten Bai Yu and Bai Ye to death, and done many things to ensnare myself in darkness never to return.
But it was only after I went to another world and came back that I realized none of those mattered.
To be given the chance to start over was an incredible stroke of fortune. What did they have to do with me? They were just strangers after all.
They were nothing but jesters, irrelevant to my life. It’s not worth sacrificing my life for them."
What mattered more was that her grandfather, Wu Wa, Bai Fei, and Bai Xiang had given her light.
"Ancestor, thank you, and thank you, grandfather. You sacrificed everything just for me to have another life. If I only focused on them, wouldn’t I be useless?
I’m sorry for letting you down."
And just like that, she was brought down.
Bai Zhi looked at her hands, where her vitality was slowly ebbing away.
For others, it was merely a wound, but for her, it was fatal.
Defying fate still had its calamities.
Bai Zhi’s gaze shifted to Bai Meng.
And the ancestral tablets.
Ancestors, Bai Zhi wanted to live on but didn’t wish for the Ancestor and her grandfather to sacrifice everything for her again.
They had already given up everything for her. She couldn’t selfishly ask them to sacrifice themselves over and over.
I used to think love meant fighting by all means, even if it cost everything, just to earn another glance from them.
But later, I learned that love is about giving.
True love doesn’t need to be begged for, nor should it be demeaning.
It’s about giving sincerely.
Her grandfather had given her boundless love, illuminating her darkness.
Thanks to the Ancestor’s help, she had a new life after witnessing the splendor of the world.
They became less significant.
She wanted to become a better version of herself, to do something to protect the Bai Family.
But now, it seemed she might not be able to.
The only thing she could do was to refuse.
She was unwilling to let her grandfather and the Ancestor sacrifice everything for her again.