I’d rather direct than take on some half-assed role.
Especially that role Lee Seo-hye suggested—the one where the couple ends up parting ways in the end. I know it’s just acting, logically, but my heart couldn’t go along with it.
...If I had to define this emotion, maybe it’s the desire to always be someone’s top priority.
You know, that feeling. When you thought you were someone’s best friend, thought they really liked you, only to realize they just saw you as one of many.
I... really hated that feeling. No matter who it was, if someone was close to me, I wanted them to put me first—always.
So I think backwards. If someone gives me a “10” in love, I’ll give back a “1” like a donation. If they give me “100,” maybe I’ll return “5.”
Because unrequited love... it’s just too painful and exhausting. That’s why even though I crave love from everyone, I can’t actually give it.
‘How pathetic. Clinging to feelings for someone who’s already dead for ten years.’
The memory still burns in me like a brand. With my damn sharp mind, I remembered the affection my father used to show me far too well.
It had been so sweet, so overwhelming—that even I, with all my pride, had ended up clinging so pathetically.
At that moment, someone suddenly placed a mirror in front of me.
My vision went blank. A beautiful woman had appeared out of nowhere and was staring at me.
Her features were striking, her head small and well-proportioned. A glimpse of her collarbone and her long, flowing black hair were captivating, and her languid eyes suddenly melted into a look of infinite fondness. Her skin, pale and translucent, was now tinged with a delicate blush.
I snapped out of it. Seo Ji-yeon was staring at me from the side, letting out a sigh.
“Young lady, I was wondering where you were.”
“...What? Why are you here?”
At my question, she pretended to wipe the mirror as if to distract me.
“Hey! Answer me. Why are you here?”
I pressed her, and she pouted as she replied.
“I just dropped by. You’re about due for one of your sentimental spells.... Want me to go into more detail?”
“...Forget it. Anyway, you even brought a mirror, huh? Ugh. Fine. You satisfied now?”
I fanned my face with my hand, still flushed red.
Anyone could see it—I had just shown the expression of a woman in love.
“See? I told you this method works for you. Geez, what kind of love scene are you expecting when you don’t even have a boyfriend...”
Seo Ji-yeon chattered while patting her chest. When we’d gotten close, I had no idea—but Jung Seon-woo and Lee Seo-hye were nodding in agreement beside her.
“Hmm, but this isn’t really usable. Looks like we’ll have to change the young lady’s role...”
“Why? Seon-woo sunbae, was there something wrong? My acting... was perfect. At least this time.”
The mirror idea—Ji-yeon was sharp.
Honestly, the result looked pretty good, too.
“No, I get it. I was kind of shocked, actually. Didn’t know you could make a face like that. But it was a bit much. Unless we’re filming an erotic movie, we can’t really use this...”
“Then again, isn’t watching Ha-yeon’s daily life basically an erotic film already? You upperclassmen missed out after graduating. Hah, now that she’s a third-year, the stuff she’s doing to the underclassmen...”
“Come on, why? The rumor about you trying to flirt with that underclassman and getting rejected is already everywhere. You didn’t even confess, just stood there with this dumbstruck look for several minutes. Then, out of pride, you even took off your—”
I smacked her on the back with a stick.
“Seo Ji-yeon. On your knees.”
I was thankful she’d pulled me out of my thoughts earlier, but that didn’t mean she could cross the line.
So in the end, I went back to directing.
Thinking about it now, it’s not a bad thing. If I need to control the scene on Seongsu Bridge, I’ll have a lot more power as director than as an actor anyway.
‘Alright. Let’s do it properly, then. If I shoot from the bottom right with a bird’s-eye drone view...’
As I was lost in thought, Seo Ji-yeon—now rubbing the cane marks on her calf after removing her white knee socks—quietly asked,
“Young lady, are you okay?”
“...I’m fine. What about you? Bet it stings a little.”
“What the heck. You’re the one who hit me. Hmph. I’m sulking, too.”
Can’t argue with that.
She fidgeted with her bare toes, looking strangely downcast.
“Mm, young lady. So... are you really okay?”
“Your pride, I guess. You used to really hate it when people under you talked back. You’re actually pretty lenient for someone at your level.... I just wondered if ending it with a spanking was enough.”
“...Well, that’s a new one. Do you... want me to hit you more? Is that your thing?”
Guys seemed to love it when I stomped on them—don’t tell me Ji-yeon’s into that too...
“No! Of course not. I hate getting hit. No one really likes that stuff. I’m just scared, so I asked.”
“Hmm... You’re scared of me?”
I tilted my head. Beautiful and elegant Yoo Ha-yeon—scary? That didn’t add up.
Well, I guess it’s possible to be beautiful and scary.
“How could I not be? I mean, I like and respect you, sure, but... sometimes I get chills. Like, when I hear someone’s gone missing at the company... I have nightmares about disappearing, too, you know?”
“Hey, that’s on the people who can’t keep their mouths shut. Everyone’s walking a tightrope. If they try to rat someone out, of course they’re gonna get cut.”
“...That’s exactly what’s scary. Someone who chats and jokes with regular folks like me suddenly making people disappear without batting an eye? I worry I’ll vanish too one day.”
“You sure don’t act scared. You mess around plenty...”
Honestly, sometimes a little too much. If that’s acting, she’s good at it.
“There you go again with the scary face. But that’s one version of you. You’re also pretty and cute. And sometimes, straight-up crazy. You’re all of those things.”
...What a strange way to put it.
I don’t really get it. People’s feelings are weird like that.
You never really know who likes you or who doesn’t. You can’t read their hearts.
But if there’s one thing I do know for sure... it’s that desire doesn’t lie.
“Well, fine. Don’t worry. I’m not going to get rid of you first or anything. So how about we eat something good for dinner tonight, hmm?”
I smiled as I patted her head.
“You say that, but you always eat well anyway... Wait, does this mean I get to choose the restaurant? Really?”
Seo Ji-yeon’s eyes sparkled.
The people I liked usually had clear, unshakable desires. And Ji-yeon was always honest about hers.
“Yeah, pick whatever you want. I’ll go along with it today.”
“Wow... hot damn, young lady, you’re the best!”
She clapped her hands and beamed. I smiled bitterly and decided I’d have to skip dinner tonight.
‘She’ll probably pick something like gopchang or silkworm pupae...’
Why did her tastes have to be the exact opposite of mine?
Fine dining might be a small hobby of mine—but tonight, I’d have to pass.
Time passed, and as the end of 1994 approached...
Seongsu Bridge collapsed.
Right in front of me.
[Seongsu Bridge Collapses! Miraculously, No ◆ Nоvеlіgһt ◆ (Only on Nоvеlіgһt) Casualties.]
[Who’s Responsible for the Collapse? An In-depth Look at Seongsu Bridge’s Construction Method...]
[Just Two Months After the Jijon Clan Case, Another Major Accident. Is 1994 the Year of Death?]
[“I Just Can’t Film in Korea Anymore,” Says Shocked Director Spielberg. Cancels Production Just Two Days After Approval...]
[Chairman Yoo Seong-pil of Daehwa Group Releases Unprecedented Statement... Rumors Spark That His Beloved Granddaughter Was Injured.]
I sucked on my ice cream in the nanny’s arms. My name was omitted from the papers, but the indirect mentions left me feeling weirdly emotional.
“Mm-mm, I’m fine. No need to worry. These bandages are just for show, you know?”
I pointed to the bandages on my leg and grinned. I wasn’t hurt at all. Never in any danger... I just put them on.
I mean, wouldn’t it be strange if no one got hurt?
“Oh dear, how could that be... The whole bridge collapsed... Thank goodness no one died, really.”
Hearing her worry made me feel a little guilty. She’d been the same during that string of murders targeting the wealthy...
So many people came to check on me. Even when I was supposed to get up, I couldn’t bring myself to take the bandages off. When my entire class visited the house together, I almost cried.