Lin Nan suddenly felt a sense of crisis and hastily deleted the underclassman's QQ and WeChat completely, but then helplessly realized he had even given the guy his phone number.
Some people only care about looks, not gender...
He had originally thought gay guys wouldn't like his type–real gay men should prefer those with prominent masculine features, while those who liked girls wouldn't be able to accept his gender. But after Chen Yao's reminder, he suddenly realized there was a third type of person in between.
Gender didn't matter–as long as you were pretty.
How terrifying.
By evening, Lin Nan didn't even dare take a shower. He climbed into bed fully dressed in his day clothes.
He suddenly felt the dorm might not be very safe either. Chen Yao's way of looking at him always seemed strange, and Tu Junhui's attitude toward him had changed recently too... Could these two also only care about appearance and not gender?
But he wasn't sleepy now. His roommates were all at their computers playing games or watching anime, while he held his phone, not knowing what to do.
He looked at Tu Junhui's computer screen across from him. This guy was grinning foolishly at a blonde, military-uniform-wearing anime loli, though Lin Nan had no idea what he was laughing about. It all seemed rather otaku-ish to him. (TN: Probably Tanya reference.)
"Lin Nan, why are you going to bed so early?" Chen Yao had just showered and was putting on a t-shirt as he walked into the room. He casually grabbed the towel draped over Lin Nan's chair back to dry his hair, then looked up and asked, "You seem a bit strange today?"
He felt like Lin Nan was deliberately avoiding him, which left him completely confused, thinking maybe his body odor was too strong.
"No, what's strange about it?"
Lin Nan couldn't very well say that after listening to his words at lunch, he was now deliberately guarding against him.
"Just feel like you're acting weird." Chen Yao muttered as he returned to his seat and opened up a game, preparing for a big gaming session.
It was almost the weekend again. Lin Nan had planned to tell Liu Yi at Yonghui Supermarket that he wanted to distribute flyers tomorrow, but before he could find Liu Yi's WeChat, Wu Guodong's message came first.
"Want to come hang out at my place for two days this weekend? I finally get two days off after working since National Day."
Lin Nan could guess what his uncle planned to do and say - no doubt his mother had given him a mission.
"I'm broke, I need to work part-time on weekends," Lin Nan typed back.
"Your uncle has money! What part-time work!" Wu Guodong acted generous, then sent a red envelope. Lin Nan excitedly opened it, only to find it was just thirty yuan.
This didn't match his uncle's usual big-spending style at all.
"You're not my uncle! My uncle gives at least five hundred each time!"
"I'm broke."
Wu Guodong was helpless too. Lin Nan's mother had borrowed fifty thousand of his savings, leaving him with only a few thousand for living expenses and rent.
"Then I might as well go to work - two days would still get me three or four hundred."
"Then pay me back?"
"Come pick me up tomorrow."
Lin Nan certainly wouldn't spit back money he'd already swallowed - that wasn't his style.
After settling things, he began wondering what he'd be told when meeting his uncle tomorrow. Based on his uncle's tone in their chat, it probably wasn't to scold him, but likely to persuade him to take a leave of absence and go home to prepare for surgery.
Or maybe to explain his father's words?
He didn't really want to face this issue. His father had already gone cold in his heart, even though his father might have been angry with his mother at the time and spoken without understanding the situation.
Lying back on his bed, his ears seemed to hear those two sentences his father had said, making his chest heave with anger again.
He should have confronted his father directly then, instead of running away in anger.
Lin Nan fantasized in his mind about what he should have said if he had confronted him then. He definitely couldn't use profanity - probably just point at his father's face, ask if he meant what he said, then slap him to vent his anger before leaving.
Time gradually grew late, and the noise in the dorm gradually quieted down. Lin Nan played with his phone, his emotions finally calming after watching some funny videos, then overwhelming fatigue suddenly clouded his eyes.
In just a few minutes, Lin Nan fell into a deep sleep with his head tilted.
But in his consciousness it seemed like just a moment of darkness. When he opened his eyes again, he found himself in a huge sandy training ground. Before he could react, he heard a furious voice from the distance.
"Lilith! Lilith! You're slacking off again!"
"I'm not!" Lin Nan reflexively retorted, but was shocked to discover his voice had become a clear female voice. Then looking up at the giant who was twice his height, he was completely bewildered.
The giant stood in front of Lin Nan and suddenly cracked a whip on the ground. The whip's whistle through the air and the explosive sound of it hitting the ground made Lin Nan shudder.
"Continue! If you don't practice well, no food today!"
Continue what?
Though his mind thought this, his body honestly began moving. Arms spread, a fist-sized fireball appeared in mid-air.
This is a dream, right?
Lin Nan finally started to understand. His brain wasn't very clear in the dream, but looking at that giant, fear and terror immediately rose in his heart.
This was father... Lilith's father.
The giant's face was blurry, but that pose–one hand on hip, one holding a whip, fierce and menacing–was deeply etched in Lilith's memory.
It seemed like... Lilith had killed him with her own hands?
Lin Nan mechanically cast fireball spells. Soon his body was so exhausted he could barely stand, but under the threat of the whip, he still tried to squeeze out every drop of magic power from his body, finally collapsing powerlessly onto the sandy ground.
Am I Lilith now, at four years old?
Lin Nan felt a surge of hatred gradually rising from his heart–this was Lilith's genuine emotion at the time.
Experiencing Lilith's past in first person, Lin Nan realized that compared to Lilith's childhood, his own could almost be considered heaven versus hell.
If Lin Nan's father was an irresponsible father who neglected him for money, then Lilith's father was overly responsible, demanding perfection from his daughter and implementing punitive corporal education. This put Lilith under enormous pressure from childhood–any failure to gain her father's approval would result in unimaginable punishment.
Though Lin Nan felt no pain in the dream, when Lilith's head was pushed into a water tank, that suffocating sensation and sense of crisis instantly overwhelmed him, scaring him awake.
Gasping heavily, Lin Nan found his forehead covered in sweat. Staring blankly at the dark dorm room, he suddenly understood a bit why Lilith had transformed from the neighborhood playmate in Lina's eyes into the witch she later became.