Luo Xiaolei was so stunned she felt like her brain cells were in chaos!
She didn't expect Yu Chen to embrace her, and he actually said that he missed her?! This was akin to two thunderbolts hitting her at once!
'He missed me? But he sees me every night, right? Did I hear him right?'
Luo Xiaolei was still thinking about whether what she had just heard was real or not when she heard Yu Chen's voice again, pulling her attention back to him.
"Can you let me hold you like this for a while?" he asked and for some reason, his husky voice seemed so weak and exhausted that Luo Xiaolei couldn't bear to push him away even if she wanted to. He was also in his cute panda self so how could she even reject the request of this adorable creature?
"O-of course… a-are you alright? You seem exhausted. Have you been resting well?" she asked. She couldn't help but feel worried when this man was being like this. She even subconsciously raised her hand and caressed his back gently.
"I'm fine. I just feel like I haven't seen you for a long time."
". . ."
Luo Xiaolei was speechless. She didn't even know how to react. She was caught off guard by Yu Chen's sudden actions and remarks. 'Huh? F-for a long time? Big panda, it's only been three days…'
In truth, even though Luo Xiaolei really had some important matters that she was dealing with lately, she was purposely leaving early to avoid Yu Chen.
Since that night she realized the extent of what she felt for him, she started to feel scared. It was because she could tell that these feelings she had for this big panda was so much stronger that it seemed to have surpassed everything that she had felt for anyone else before. The way he caused chaos in her heart with every little thing he did and the way he soothed and calmed her soul just by being around her made her feel so lucky, yet terrified.
She couldn't help but remember Yun Jinhan. She remembered how that man treated her so nicely and doted on her for many years and yet in the end, that same man whom she thought was the one who loved her the most in this world was the one who killed her.
Luo Xiaolei always knew that her past would never stop haunting her. That was why she was trying her hardest to just keep moving forward despite her fears. She refused to forever be a prisoner of her past and she was aware that the only way for her to conquer her fears was to face everything head on. But it seemed like the trauma Yun Jinhan had engraved in her life was too deep that falling in love again still terrified her despite the years that had passed.
When she met Yu Chen, she was wary and careful because at that point, marriage wasn't the only thing that seemed impossible for her – falling in love again also seemed to be something that she felt would be out of reach for her. She was scared because even though she knew that Yu Chen wasn't Yun Jinhan, she still couldn't help but think that one day, once she fell for him, just like that man, he too would change in the end and ruin her once again. If and when that happened, she didn't know if she could rise up again.
Yet, shockingly, despite all her fears, her heart still beat so wildly every time Yu Chen did something for her no matter how small it was. The way he made her heart flutter, the fact that she was unable to resist him, the way she trusted him and the way she felt secure in his arms despite the short time she spent with him had started to terrify her.
In the last three days, Luo Xiaolei had been thinking about Yu Chen and she realized just how fast things had changed since the day she met him. She found it very alarming especially when she realized that Yu Chen took less than a month to evoke all these feelings within her when Yun Jinhan spent years trying to gain her trust.
Luo Xiaolei somehow had this gut feeling that the moment she let her guard down; she would fall for him at an alarming rate and there was no turning back.
This scared her to the core because as time went by, it seemed like her feelings towards him just kept escalating by the day, overlapping everything, even her fear.
---
Time slowly passed by and Yu Chen finally let go of her.
"I'm heading back to the office." He said as he gazed into her eyes and Luo Xiaolei's thought was immediately pulled back to reality.
"Ohh… I… see." She stammered. She was staring at his eyes, which was as mesmerizing as ever.
"I will fetch you from the orphanage tonight." He uttered and Luo Xiaolei quietly nodded.
Yu Chen took a step back and turned his back to her. His fluffy white back appeared into view and Luo Xiaolei's eyes were drawn towards his two dangling black ears. Somehow, watching his back made Luo Xiaolei smile when suddenly, Yu Chen abruptly turned around again and without a warning, he leaned in on her and kissed her. This time, it wasn't on her forehead. He kissed her on the cheek, about two centimeters away from her lips.
And then, he was gone.
Luo Xioalei stood there frozen. She blinked three times as she subconsciously lifted her hand and touched her cheek, her eyes watching Yu Chen's car disappear from view. Her heart was, again, beating ferociously and she even started to feel her face getting hot.
But the first thing she said once she recovered from Yu Chen's shocking move was…
"W-wait… he… he didn't faint?! The big panda didn't faint?!!" She gasped, her eyes wide in both surprise and disbelief.