By the time they arrived home, Hinari had already fallen asleep, tired from crying in Zaki's arms. Zaki carried her to his room and after tucking her into the bed, he sat next to her. His gaze was glued on her face.
It had been a long time since he last watched her sleeping face like this. Hinari had always been a naughty girl, full of energy and mischief but when she slept soundly like this, she just looked like a sweet and harmless little sheep, although, she was still as seductive as ever.
Zaki gazed at her captivating and luscious red lips, her adorably cute nose, the little mole below her eye. He looked like he was trying to memorize every single detail about her, as if this was the last time he would be able to look at her like this.
Just like that, he watched her sleeping face for hours, like a motionless broken cyborg. A lot of different emotions were fighting inside him. He felt sad, lonely, scared, angry, helpless and heartbroken all at the same time. But he was firm in his decision. He wanted Hinari to live a full life with someone she could grow old with because that someone wasn't him. It could never be him.
…
Time passed and it was already dawn when Zaki left the sleeping Hinari. The man walked straight towards the courtyard when Sei, who just entered the living room after seeing Davi off, saw him.
Sei immediately noticed that his face looked even paler and his forehead creased hard as he hastily followed him.
"Zaki…" he called out and the man halted.
"Why is sister-in-law leaving so early? Did something happen?" Zaki casually asked. He was trying to act all normal again and to divert Sei's attention away from him.
However, Sei continued walking towards him as he replied.
"No, she just needed to do something important. Anyway, you look worse than ever. You should rest."
"I'm fine."
"Zaki… you look like a zombie right now, go and get some sleep."
"Tch! So stubborn… I'll go later but first… Sei, let's fight."
As soon as Zaki said those words, Sei sighed and looked intently at him before he finally just nodded in reply, knowing that Zaki needed to do something to release his frustration at the situation.
The two eventually started fighting like they usually do. However, not even a minute had gone by before a blow already landed on Zaki, causing his lips to bleed.
"That's enough." Sei said as he immediately stopped. If Zaki was in his best condition right now, Sei wouldn't be able to even make him take a step back even if they fought for the entire day. His condition was really at the worst state that Sei had ever seen but Sei didn't hesitate to hit him. It was because Sei somehow knew that Zaki was asking for it.
"Let's take a break." Sei then said and Zaki leaned against the wall, panting heavily. He slid down and sat on the ground and leaned an elbow on his bent knee with his head looking down on the ground.
"Here." Sei gave him water before he sat beside him but Zaki just clenched the bottle so tightly as though he wanted to crush it.
The courtyard then fell silent. It was cold and the moonlight was playing hide and seek with the clouds.
Zaki didn't raise his face again.
The next moment, the bottle fell from his hand and he began to tug his hair hard.
And then…
Zaki finally broke down.
He remained looking at the ground. His hands that were tugging his hair started trembling and as if the invincible walls that were standing strong all this time were being shattered into pieces, as if the floodgates were opened, battering every last bit of his defense, Zaki's tears fell like cold, crystallized raindrops without stopping.
He sobbed under the quiet moonlight. He looked like he was screaming quietly in pain. His hand moved and he clutched his chest. He looked like he could hardly breath. He looked like his life was crumbling into ashes.
That moment, there was no trace of the strong, invincible Zaki anymore. He just looked like he was a small child crying in agony as he forced a voice out of his mouth.
"Sei… I… I don't… I don't want to die…"