I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality Chapter 14

The funeral hall for Landlord Liu was set up in the main hall, as described in the Funeral and Mourning Scripture, which is considered the most sacred and inviolable place in a household where ancestors and deities are worshipped.

If someone passes away at home, the deceased's family would move the body to the main hall and place it on a temporarily made wooden bed, to avoid having the deceased lying in bed for too long.

Because people spend half their lives asleep in bed, if the deceased remains in the bed for too long after passing, it's believed their soul could be trapped there and unable to reincarnate.

So, whenever a family feels an elder is nearing the end, they would move them to the main hall and attend to them there. This is what is known as dying a natural death in one's family home.

Xu Qing pushed the door open, and upon reaching the outer part of the main hall, he could tell instantly that someone in this household had knowledge of the proper rituals.

Even if they were not from the trade of undertakers, they must have been involved with funeral services before, with practical experience in such matters.

However, experience notwithstanding, they still committed some taboos.

Just like now, where it's unheard of to have such loud quarrels and physical pushing in front of the funeral hall.

Upon closer inspection, Xu Qing recognized one of the bickering women as his acquaintance, Su Hongxiu. The other was a similarly dressed noblewoman in mourning clothes.

"You shameless fox! It's all because of you that our master met his end. Now, you dare come here pretending to be sorrowful like a cat crying over a dead mouse. I see through your sinister motives: you've been waiting for the day our master dies to get a share of the Liu family inheritance!

I'm telling you now, as long as I have breath in me, you won't get a single penny!"

With that, the two women could not restrain themselves and started fighting again.

Xu Qing found this amusing; he decided not to intervene and instead just stood outside the hall, watching the drama unfold.

One woman was a seductively graceful figure from a brothel, accustomed to seeing all sorts of people and oddities; the other was a wealthy landlord's wife, well-maintained and dignified.

The two were pulling each other's hair and tearing at each other's clothes, nearly reaching a fever pitch, when the servant who brought Xu Qing suddenly shouted.

"First Madam, Second Madam, please stop fighting! I have brought the undertaker from Underground Street. Let's focus on sending the master off first..."

At these words, the buzzing hall quieted down immediately.

First Madam Liu stopped tearing at Su Hongxiu's clothes and, with a casual gesture, tidied her disheveled hair and walked toward the main hall entrance.

Her smooth transition was so remarkable that even Sichuan opera face-changers couldn't match her speed!

Xu Qing wanted to stop the servant from shouting, but it was too late.

'Oh no! Why couldn't you just pretend I wasn't here and keep the ruckus going? I could have just found a small stool to sit on and waited for you to finish your family matters before getting to work. I'm in no rush!'

Xu Qing felt a pang of regret, as Su Hongxiu's undergarment was exposed and Lady Liu's shoulder was glistening smooth. How could they just stop like that?

"You, are you the undertaker?"

The smooth-shouldered Lady Liu's real name was Li Xiangyun, around thirty-five or thirty-six years old. Because of her noble birth and good maintenance, she didn't show much trace of years past but rather had a mature charm.

Despite her sweat and disheveled hair at the moment, her poise while walking still exhibited the composure of a noble lady.

As if the one who had been cursing and tearing at clothes moments before was someone else...

"Mr. Undertaker, you finally arrived. As a woman, I can manage needlework and caring for the family, but all external matters were always handled by my husband. Now, with him gone, I feel like I've lost my soul and have no idea what to do..."

With this emotional appeal, Li Xiangyun took out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears while she wept.

"Now I must ask you, Mr. Undertaker, to take charge and ensure my poor husband reaches his final rest..."

Xu Qing looked on at the pitiable widow's act and thought that this woman was indeed frightening. One moment, she was like a fierce, food-guarding tiger; the next, she became a delicate, timid pet rabbit.

But regardless of his thoughts, he still had a job to do!

"Madam, please control your grief. Allow me to handle the rest of the arrangements."

While they were talking, the butler, Song Cai, who had gone to the Funeral House to fetch the coffin bearers, came over to inquire again.

Upon learning of Xu Qing's identity, Song Cai frowned slightly. He didn't say much, but there was a hint of skepticism.

As the saying goes, 'No facial hair, no reliability.'

The lad before him didn't even have a single whisker on his face. How could he handle such a crucial task as organizing a funeral?

Xu Qing didn't know what Song Cai was thinking; otherwise, he wouldn't have shaved his corpse hair this morning, just to prove his reliability! He would have kept it to avoid being judged by appearance!

Reaching the funeral hall, all of Landlord Liu's relatives and friends who could come were present. Those who couldn't make it had sent letters and gifts to pay their respects.

Liu and Li Xiangyun's only son, Young Master Liu, was kneeling on the ground, keeping vigil by the coffin.

In front of Young Master Liu was a top-quality nanmu coffin, already polished with black lacquer. The lid was covered with a white cloth blanketing the lower half of the visage. The cloth had a large character "奠" inscribed on it.

'Death without burial rites is manifestation of respect, and worship post burial is ritual homage,' goes the saying.

In simple terms, the deceased lying below is revered, and the living offering homage above is showing respect.

These are the fundamentals in funeral and mourning traditions.

Coming to the coffin, Xu Qing set down his bag and took out the items for preparing the body. Just as he was about to powder the face and comb the hair of Landlord Liu, Song Cai stepped in to stop him.

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