Chapter 3 - 3: I Combined Dirt and Sadness. It Worked.
Morning came far too early.
Junseo—no, Eren, as the system now insisted—woke up to the sound of chickens.
But not just normal clucking.
No.
These bastards were moaning.
"Why do the chickens sound like they're in an R-rated massage parlor?" he muttered, sitting up and rubbing his face.
"Because they are 'Enhanced Breeding Hens,'" Lira said, appearing beside the bed like a sleep paralysis demon with a built-in GPS. "High fertility, low shame."
"I'm going to burn this entire barn down."
"Understood. Logging arson as future quest potential."
He sighed and shuffled outside. The tomatoes he planted yesterday had already sprouted—way faster than they should have. Little vines, already bearing plump red fruit, like the game was trying to speedrun the plot.
[Skill Progression – "Basic Farming" reached Lv.2!]
[New Passive: Yield Boost I – Your crops now grow 20% faster. (They can also hear your thoughts.)]
[New Trait Discovered – Mild Existential Dread has fused with Dirt Familiarity. You have unlocked a unique skill: "Soil Empathy."]
He blinked.
"Soil... empathy?"
"You can now hear the emotional state of dirt," Lira said with robotic cheer. "Would you like to listen?"
"No. Wait—actually, yes. I hate myself enough to want to know."
He knelt beside the tomato patch and activated the skill.
The soil beneath your tomatoes is feeling: Moist. Fertile. Slightly uncomfortable with how fast things are moving.
Junseo sat back. "Yeah, join the club, buddy."
[Skill Fusion Unlocked!]
You have combined:
Dirt Familiarity
Water Handling
Soil Empathy
→ New Skill: "Rural Rhythm Lv.1"
You now instinctively understand the flow of crops, water, and village schedules. Farming efficiency +10%. Villager dialogue +5% clarity.
"Okay," he said. "Now that one sounds useful."
"Congratulations," Lira said. "You are becoming more compatible with this world."
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of."
Meanwhile, at the edge of the village...
While trying to avoid talking to anyone with breasts or flirtatious intentions, Junseo made the mistake of walking near the town bulletin board.
A single poster fluttered in the wind.
"HELP WANTED: Stray livestock escaped from Pen 3. Last seen near the forest. Mildly aggressive. Possibly cursed."
Reward: 15 Gold. And a smile. :)
He stared at the poster.
"Nope. Not my problem."
[New Quest Available – "Hog Wild!"]
[Objective: Catch the runaway 'Boarboi' and return him to Pen 3.]
[Optional: Do not get gored.]
[Reward: 15G, Local Respect, New Trait Unlocked (if you survive).]
"...I hate this place."
Fifteen minutes later...
Junseo was in the forest, holding a rope, staring down a creature that looked like a cross between a pig, a gym bro, and a regrettable DeviantArt drawing.
The Boarboi had tusks, tattoos, and a cocky swagger.
It winked at him.
"Oh, come on!"
It charged.
He barely rolled out of the way, face-planting in the dirt.
"Lira!" he shouted. "Ideas?!"
"Try combining your instincts. You have 'Rural Rhythm.' Use the land."
Junseo clenched his teeth. "Alright. Let's try something stupid."
He kicked loose dirt, tossed a handful of tomatoes at the boar, and sprinted around a tree, baiting it. As the beast turned, it slipped on the juice-slick ground.
Junseo tackled it with the rope and—after a struggle that made him question every life choice—managed to hogtie the beast.
[Quest Complete – "Hog Wild!"]
[Reward: +15 Gold, Trait Gained – "Beast Wrangling I"]
[New Fusion Available – Combine "Rural Rhythm" + "Beast Wrangling" → "Livestock Whisperer"]
"...Okay. That one sounds kind of badass."
[You have unlocked "Livestock Whisperer Lv.1" – Animals trust you more. You can now hear the inner thoughts of passive beasts.]
Junseo turned to the Boarboi.
Boarboi's thoughts: Damn, that tomato slap kinda turned me on.
"I need bleach for my ears," Junseo muttered.
That Evening...
Back in town, Rolf greeted him with a slap on the back and a mug of something alcoholic.
"You got the pig? You're tougher than you look, pretty boy!"
"I had help from gravity and psychological damage," Junseo said. "Also, I think it flirted with me."
"Boarbois are weird like that," Rolf nodded. "Anyway, good job. People'll start talkin'. You're not just the new guy now—you're the boar guy."
"...Can I be something else?"
"Not anymore."
At the bar, Mira grinned and slid him a plate of stew. "A strong man and a farmer? You're starting to look like marriage material."
"I'm allergic to commitment," he replied.
"You'll grow out of that."
He gave her a wary look. She gave him a wink.
[Affection Alert – Mira's Interest Level: 12%]
[System Advice: You are now on her "Maybe" list.]
He sighed. "I'm in hell. But the food's good."
Later that night...
Junseo lay in bed, staring at the wooden ceiling, hands behind his head.
The system was quiet. Lira had gone into recharge mode, standing eerily in the corner like a sexy mannequin of death.
He opened his [Status] again.
Name: Eren
Level: 2
Gold: 21
Skills:
Rural Rhythm Lv.1
Soil Empathy
Beast Wrangling I
Livestock Whisperer Lv.1
Traits:
Handsome Bastard
Mild Existential Dread
Tomato Trauma
Social Evasion Tactics Lv.2
"Alright," he muttered. "Not a bad start. Nobody's tried to bed me yet. I haven't died. And I invented emotional dirt-reading."
He paused.
"...I still want coffee."