"This is perfect! I am truly a genius!"
Around five hours had passed since Kayla left. Leo spent almost the entire time thinking about a plan to lose money.
There were so many ways that could help him lose money. But this time, he didn’t want to leave even the slightest chance of accidental success.
Throughout these five hours, he had thought of multiple ideas, only to cross all of them in the end, considering even the most distant possibilities of something going wrong.
Some of the ideas he came up with were truly absurd. If any ordinary person was to look at them, they would call him crazy for even considering such ideas.
One such idea was investing money in researching chewable ice creams made from fresh tomato ketchup. There was no way such a thing could actually be successful.
Even if it was made, who would even buy it? However, that small chance of success made him reject the idea from the onset. He was already burnt once. He didn’t want to go through accidental success again.
This time, he didn’t want any variables. What if there were weird people that liked ketchup ice cream in this world? After all, there were people who even liked pineapple pizzas. So what wasn’t possible in the food industry?
No, what if there was even a more weird possibility that this chewable ice cream somehow treated some untreatable diseases on earth just like his lemon juice did?
"No food items, and no drinks!" That was the line he had drawn in the sand to avoid any accident.
"What about teleporting toilets? One snap and you can teleport your toilet to yourself wherever you are in urgent need? Wait, why does that actually sound like a good idea that can actually solve problems?"
"What about invisible pants? Only a crazy person would buy them right? Even the research and development costs would be enough to accumulate losses. I might even be able to burn the entire money before I see a single credit of return?"
He considered a lot of absurd ideas, that were his brain child. He also took inspiration from the Galactic Web to increase the list of ideas.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor of his massive living room, he stared at the 100-inch holographic terminal built into the wall.
He had to burn his money. And he had to burn it specifically through his shell company, Alpha Corp, so the System would register it as a loss.
"If I want to lose money," Leo muttered, "I shouldn’t look at successful companies. I need to find someone the whole world has already given up on."
He pulled up the terminal’s browser and connected it to the Galactic Web.
He typed ’Worst Crowdfunding Failures of 2099’ into the search bar. In another split panel tab, he typed, ’Scientific Laughing Stocks’.
He opened one more tab next to the others. "Most Ridiculed Theories in History."
Three holographic projections appeared before him, each displaying a list of results. The screens were flooded with articles, forum posts, and even viral videos mocking the creators of such ideas.
Leo scrolled past a video of a man explaining his theory behind a machine that could teach fish how to walk on land. Another company was being ridiculed for invisible wigs.
He needed something expensive. Something that required millions in investment but yielded absolutely no return.
Then, he found a forum thread on ScienceFail.net titled, ’LMAO look at this idiot trying to talk to Dungeon Bosses.’
Leo clicked it.
It was a video from a year ago. A small, frantic-looking scientist with wild hair stood in front of a camera, holding a blueprint.
"Please!" the man in the video begged. "The crowdfunding goal is only 70 million credits! The Poet Resonator works! I just need better materials! If we build it, we can translate monster roars into poetry! We can have peace!"
The video cuts to a compilation of the scientist getting chased by low-level slimes, his pants catching fire, and finally, him being dragged away by security.
The comments were even more brutal.
[Goblin_Slayer69: Bro thinks a dragon wants to write a haiku. 0/10 would not fund.]
[Gigachu: This guy is truly crazy. If he had so much time to waste, why can’t he do something truly useful like being part of our X-pop fandom and stan with us!]
[RichGuy57: I’d rather burn my money than give it to Dr. Picollo]
"Dr. Picollo..." Leo frowned. "Does this guy also have a system that asks him to lose money? Which idiot would come up with such ideas?"
He paused the video and zoomed in on the scientist’s ID badge. It was a Hero Guild badge. The comments confirmed he was a former member of the Guild who had been demoted.
"However, his idea isn’t half bad. If he drops his focus on poetry and only focuses on the proper translation of monster species, then it might actually be useful. After all, every translator that has been researched has failed."
"Unfortunately, it’s long been proven that monsters don’t have a language. They only make random noises and move by instinct. Only higher species of monsters can speak, and they don’t need a translator in the first place."
The idea was more or less useless, but it still had a small chance of success, which made Leo discard it.
He scrolled further down, past the ’Perpetual Motion Hamster Wheel’ and the ’Water-Proof Water’.
Leo kept scrolling through the search results. There were truly many stupid ideas, but in the end, each of them had an unlikely chance of success.
Finally, his mind kept going back to an idea of his own that he had initially reserved in case he didn’t find anything good.
"I suppose I should move forward with Invisible Pants. It won’t be able to treat any overload since it can’t be consumed. And wearing invisible pants is no different from not wearing anything."
"Which idiot would wear pants that make him look like he is walking around naked?"
After reaching the end of the search results, Leo ended up selecting his own initial idea for his next venture.
He was going to make an even more stupid investment than Lemon Elixir. Alpha Corp was going to create Invisible Pants! Even in his wildest dreams, there was no chance of success.