I shook my head. I had to be certain. Was I dreaming or was I hearing wrong. Turns out it was neither; I was quite awake and in control of my faculties and Gwen was still sitting in front of me like there was nothing wrong in her world.
Pregnant? How could she be pregnant? "How... Why... I use protection?" I stammered out.
"Dude, since you got married you have been careless with protection. At some point I thought you were going at it on purpose," she replied looking bored.
"And you didn’t think to get some pills?"
"Dude, you know those things make you fat!" she snapped at me.
"And pregnancy will do what to you exactly?" I doubt I have met someone so ridiculously stupid in my life? She was talking about lowering standards, damn – with her; I threw standards out the window.
"It’s just pregnancy fat. I can lose it in two weeks," she crossed her legs and fished in her bag for a mirror. Oh my God! I’m screwed!
"Look, I’m keeping the baby so that isn’t even up for discussion and I hope you think to do the right thing." She shut her compact mirror, stood, kissed me on the cheek, and headed out of the office. I was so dazed, I couldn’t move any part of my body.
Keeping the child a secret was out of the question, Gwen had just secured bragging rights. Nita almost chopped off my head when she thought I was sleeping with Gwen again, what would she do now that she was pregnant?
I took off my jacket and my tie, I felt like I was in chains. I raced to my dad’s office as that was the only person who could give me solid advice. I found him on a video call with my mum as I entered.
He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. "Hey Honey, I will call you back okay? I’ll be home soon,"
"All alright, babe. I’ll make you some pancakes myself," My mom responded.
"then I will come home sooner," he finished and hung up the phone. "What’s going on?"
I was breathing hard and couldn’t form words.
"Richard," he got up from his seat and approached me, holding me in his arms. Everything I had been through in the past weeks was overwhelming and I had no idea when a tear slipped from my eye, and another and another.
"I messed up Dad. I have ruined everything,"
"You’re going to be mad," I told him, my breathing still coming out forced.
"I won’t, son. I won’t, I promise,"
"You know Gwen?--- the influencer for Numero Jewelries,"
I saw my dad’s shoulders deflate. "It’s yours?"
I nodded. "Nita is... What am I going to say to her?"
My dad walked to the fridge, brought out two beers, and handed one to me. "How far along is she?"
I handed him the envelope Gwen had given to me. He opened it and his eyes widened, "Two months? You were cheating on your wife?! Son, I raised you better than that!" he chastised.
"Dad, it’s complicated. I can’t go into details,"
"I think you better do,"
I spent the next couple of minutes explaining the progress of my marriage, including the secret I kept from her.
"so she knew you were sleeping with Gwen?"
I nodded. "that makes things easier. Are both of you still set on the divorce at the end of the year?"
"she is ---- I’m not,"
"Have you told her things have changed for you?"
I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. "What am I going to do?"
"Rip the Band-Aid," he took a sip of his beer.
"Yeah. You have to man up, tell her, and face the consequences. Besides, if this gets out, the press will compound the problem so I suggest you do it sooner rather than later. She has to be prepared and make her own decisions without being influenced by public opinion."
My vision was blurry as I approached Nita’s office. The corridor seemed longer with every step. I wished I wouldn’t get there.
I just ruined any and every chance to make her stay with me. Could I wait until we got home to explain things to her? How would she react? Would she understand? Would she love me anyway?
Her eyes brightened up when she saw me, and she smiled in a way that felt like I was her entire world. "Is it time to go already?" she asked. I only managed to nod in response.
Four months of marriage and I had dug myself into a hole so deep even my father couldn’t help me out of it.
"I was thinking of stopping by the mall to get some groceries." She began packing her bag and organizing her desk quickly. "Maybe get some flowers for your mum and make a quick stop there on our way home,"
"Please, I feel like we need to spend more time with her now. We can’t always wait until the weekend!"
"Nita---- we have to go home,"
She turned to look at me, her gaze holding mine. "Something’s wrong,"
"We will talk about it when we get home,"
"Richard, just tell me now. It doesn’t matter if we are home or here. It’s just the two of us,"
I shook my head, grabbed her bag, and held her hand out of the office.
"Richard is this about Gwen’s visit?" I stopped and turned to her.
"sh --- please--- ssshhh. I will tell you everything at home."
The ride home was eerily quiet. I was lost in my mind, I felt Nita’s fingers reach for mine, squeezing tight offering comfort. I couldn’t keep it in anymore, I pulled her body to mine.
"I’m sorry--- I’m so sorry," I whispered against her hair.
"Richard, you’re scaring me. Please, just tell me."
"Promise you wont be too mad."
"I am torn between mad and worried right now," she gripped my shirt. "Richard, whatever it is, just tell me. We can work through it together."
I stared at the rows of buildings speeding by, much like my life speeding past me without any control.
"Gwen... she says she is pregnant."