He didn’t have any outward change to my question except slightly raised eyebrows. With a smirk on his face he asked. “And why do you think I’m a skrull?” I couldn’t help but smirk as I thought up a lie. “You cut yourself shaving this morning I can see the color of your blood through the cut.”
His eyes went wide as his hand rose to his face. Just like the HYDRA agent he rapidly stood up and went for his gun. While I wasn’t sure I could stop it from firing it was still light enough to lift with telepathy which I had already done. I grabbed at the vial of sand in my pocket and smashed it in my hand before throwing it straight for his eye.
He wasn’t human but could mimic the powers of whoever he copied. In a fair fight he and Hawkeye would undoubtedly beat me. This wasn’t a fair fight as I closed the distance on the now blinded Fury. I plunged my knife into his neck. Fighting fair was a fool's idea and winning the fight fast was the best way to make sure you stay alive. I started yelling out to Hawkeye who pulled his bow.
“Blood! Look at his blood!” Green blood gushed from his neck wound as I dragged the knife out to stab again. Skrull Nick grabbed at me but it was the vain hope of a dying man that he could accomplish something. I calmly asked Clint. “Hey, any chance you can run to the bathroom really quick and grab a towel. I’d rather not have alien blood all over my new couch.”
I felt him die as his body changed. While expecting a rush of new abilities I barely feel anything. Slight improvements to my strength, dexterity, endurance and chi reserves but besides that I think that’s about it. I guess he was just a skrull mook not the real Fury. I wouldn’t have been able to kill the real Fury that easily. The world most likely would have stopped me.
I did learn a bit about their language, culture and biology. That made me think I needed to kill a linguist at some point. Were there any multi language villains? It only gave me a beginner's level of that language. When the skrulls invaded I could ask them where the bathroom was. I think this was a combined effect from having both the growth and syphon powers and I would get nothing if I only had syphon.
They are much weaker than the comic skrull’s not being able to perfectly mimic people's powers or mannerisms. I held the knife in place while trying to drag his body off my couch. Blood was a lot easier to clean off wood. Hawkeye came running in with two handfuls of towels. I yell at him. “One towel at a time please, it took me three trips to steal all those towels!”
He looked at me like my head was on fire. “Why did you steal towels?” Out of everything he was more upset by my towel thievery than me killing his fake boss. “Because those are ultra absorbent towels. They cost sixteen dollars each. I'm not paying for that. Use them one at a time.”
He grumbled as he put the towels down and took one to start soaking up the blood. He stopped halfway through. “Wow these towels really soak up the blood, I'll probably only need one.” He continued to clean while I levitated over a clean knife to him. “Any chance you can cut your finger. Just so we know for sure we’re not skrulls.”
To avoid an argument where he accuses me of being a skrull and I have to tell him then why did I kill this skrull and out him I just cut my finger. A few drops of red blood come out and for a brief moment I think I might have to wrestle him to see if he’s a skrull but he cuts himself and reveals red blood. After he calls in SHIELD and they take the body out. He asked.
“How did you know he was a fake?” I decided to tell him my thought process. “I thought there was a possibility back when I first outed the HYDRA agent. He overreacted to the double agents mentioned then barely reacted when I outed the HYDRA agent. Like he was worried I was going to out him as a double agent but then thought I only knew about the HYDRA agents.
He was cowardly but not ambitious enough to be the real Fury. If he had a huge piece like me orbiting him he’d have tried way harder to get me under control… Plus the real Nick Fury would have never let me call him a little jizz goblin. No, he was replaced and told to watch or the real Nick Fury would have tried to start the Avengers protocol to keep the Justice League in check.”
“Alright well do you have any ideas where the skrull might be?” I paused and thought for a moment. “Skrull’s are way out of SHIELD’s league. You better call in the big guns to look for the ship or SHIELD will get ripped apart. Also, I doubt Fury was really captured. Like I said the guy is a coward and probably ran away the second he thought someone was targeting him.”
A voice came from the door. “That’s an interesting viewpoint Danny boy. Let’s see if you can talk all that shit to my face.” I groaned out loud. “I just moved in! Can you guys wait a week to do this shit.”
Nick just walked past me. “Oh I’m sorry. Were you too busy leaving puddles of ejaculate everywhere to have some guests over?” I burst out laughing. “*Hahaha* That’s how you know it’s the real Nick Fury. Also can you cut yourself real quick just to be sure.”