’Ah, fuck it,’ Zhen Liu told himself as he slapped both of his cheeks at the same time.
’Let’s get these scenarios scripted and just yeet them.’
And with that simple agreement, Zhen Liu proceeded to cause an incredibly hectic morning for precisely four people.
Two of whom were a pair of assassins that just got their memories scrambled, with the other two being the superiors of the remainder.
’Wonder if any of these guys are going to make an appearance at the competition tomorrow...probably not.’
That being said though...there was gonna be one more person having a moment this morning, that was a bit closer to him than anticipated.
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Everything pass this point is entirely in Tide Tongue, so "" will be used.
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[Huh...haven’t we done this before?]
[Dump unconscious people in weird places and have them assume the worst? Yes, multiple times,] Nepherage answered, [apparently our lord is still against us eating people...]
[No no, not that. Haven’t we dumped a lady spy or something in a bar somewhere and had her think she had a one night stand?,] Hurricroak elaborated.
[Oh. No? Last time I recall doing something like that is when we ditched those other spies back home in the middle of a desert oasis while making it look like they had a...what was it? A rave?]
[Oh, shit, right...did we ever follow up on those guys after we traveled in that caravan with them?]
[I think that one couple we gave matching tramp stamps actually tied the knot.]
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Unexpected Breakfast date
"Ow...what the fuck?," Yin Mai groaned as the early morning rays of sunshine bothered her eyes.
As she roused awake from her slumber, she became more and more aware of a splitting headache, a dull ringing in her ear and the feeling like her stomach had decided to run out of her throat. On the plus side, she wasn’t laying down on the floor. Instead, she found herself gaining consciousness as she was hunched over a soft, dry wooden counter.
"Seriously, what happened last night...," she asked herself as she slowly pushed her head off of the counter so she could massage her temples.
"The last thing I remember doing was...wait..."
Yin Mai felt as if she had the world’s worst hangover...which was weird because she didn’t remember drinking any alcohol last night.
In fact the last thing she remembered doing the night before was-
The last thing Yin Mai remembered doing up until this point was staking out in front of a hotel that was a tree in the middle of a Stomp Town.
However, she did not wake up to such surroundings.
"Where the fuck am I?!"
As this realization came to her, Yin Mai was immediately jolted into high alert and began to look around to determine her surroundings.
After a couple of moments, she came to realize that she was actually sitting in the middle of a cafe that was decorated in the Soaring Griffon style, which meant a lot of windchimes and chairs suspended from the ceiling instead of having legs. Even the chair she stood up from was one of those strange swinging ones, hence why she exclaimed in shock and pain when the chair had swung back and beaned her in the shin. On the plus side, the swinging which might’ve explained why she was able to sleep so well last night.
A part of her thought of getting a hammock set up in her own living areas for a moment, before bringing her focus back to the present.
"Alright. first I need to calm down," Mai Yin told herself while taking deep breath, "and now you need to go back and see what went wrong with your-"
"Ah! So the mysterious girl is finally awake. You look very energetic for someone who should be dealing with a hangover."
"Who the-oh. Hello there..."
Yin Mai was just about to blast a bitch into oblivion for suddenly barging in on her talking to herself like a crazy person, until she saw the person who had interrupted her.
"Yes, at least, that’s what I assumed since I found you passed out on my doorstep. I was about to make some breakfast. Would you like some?"
The person who had interrupted her, and presumably was the owner of this café, was a tall, dark, handsome man with caramel skin, an aquiline nose and a mischievous smile.
In other words, completely her type.
"The name’s Zou Feng by the way. Feel free to take a seat anywhere you...wait...or would you rather stand in order to stretch your legs?"
"Huh? Oh, I’ll uh...I’ll stand."
The way the cafe was set up was so that the customers could watch as the owner of this place cooked their meals right in front of them.
As such, Yin Mai was able to stand there and fully appreciate Zou Feng’s ability to handle the knife and spatula with surprising ease and grace.
As Yin Mai became more and more enraptured with Zou Feng’s cooking, the discordance in her head started to subside, and she soon forgot all about the reason why she had appeared in front of some...tree...in the first place. Instead, she remembered something else entirely.
’Wait...oh that’s right, I was in Stomp Town because I was trying to seduce a member of the Zhen Clan...but that failed because they realized who I was and spiked my drink...and I had to get out of there before being compromised...yeah, that sounds right.’
With her memories now sorted, Yin Mai proceeded to just enjoy the moment and take in the eye candy...as well as prepare her stomach for something delicious.
"Do you like your omelets spicy or surprisingly sweet?"
"Can...can you do both?"
’FUCK YEA-wait...he doesn’t have a ring, right?’
And it was with this worry in mind, Yin Mai proceeded to stare a little harder at Zou Feng’s hands...not that he noticed.
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[So...this is why you wanted me to calculate the melt time on that ice?,] Spring Brawler.
[Yes...,] Frosttusk rumbled.
[You sure the ringmaster would be cool with all this?]
[Are you limiting yourself to one word answers because you’re running too cold right now?]
[Alright, let’s dip and see if we can toss you in a furnace or a pot of soup or something.]
[That...makes too much sense...]
_____________________________________________
Within the halls of the Blessed Willow Manor, the home estate of the Zhen Clan, the 24th Imperial Prince of the Pearl Scale Empire was snoozing away in a luxurious bed alongside two bloodliner cat girls who appeared to be twins.
"Mmm...huh? Who’s at my...oh right..."
Correction, they were triplets and one of them was a dude.
’Alright, its now breakfast so I should...’
Not wanting to disturb his sleeping companions(read: one-nightstands), JinJu Yang proceeded to use an aether art usually meant to avoid attacks to slip from the grasp of the twin girls.
Once he was freed, he quickly got dressed and proceeded to leave his room in order to bask in the morning sunlight.
"Ahh...what a lovely morning," Jinju Yang yawned as he stretched under the golden rays of the sun.
After a surprisingly stressful evening due to running into...him...Jinju Yang didn’t expect to wake up the next day feeling refreshed in the slightest.
Thankfully, he ran into some rather comely triplets and proceeded to relieve some of his stress in what he considered to be a healthy manner, like his father, despite what his mother and siblings say.
Then again, maybe he shouldn’t be following in the footsteps of a man who had given him about eighty or so younger siblings.
Well, eighty or so younger siblings he could find...
Regardless of his proclivities though, he had more pressing matters to attend to: his stomach.
"I believe the dining hall was this way..."
Normally, Jinju Yang would wait in his room for the servants to come and bring him breakfast, as was his royal privilege.
However, this time around, his personal servants that would handle such affairs were...missing for the time being. After all, he did send them out on a very important assignment the night before.
That and he wanted a change of pace to his usual meals.
As such, Jinju Yang made his way to the estate’s dining hall, where all of the members, regardless of status, would eat for breakfast.
Supposedly this was to help bring a sense of unity to the Zhen Clan members, but coincidentally, it was easier to make breakfast food in bulk.
’Now, I wonder if the chefs have made any special baked...huh?’
The moment JinJu Yang entered the dining hall, he was greeted by a most unusual sight.
That of a bunch of Zhen Clan members, including the Martial Elder, standing around in a circle, staring up at the ceiling.
’Wonder what got them acting like that?’
Curious about the sight himself, Jinju Yang made his way over to ask.
’Hopefully it’s something worth asking about...’
Spoiler alert, it was.