“Isn’t it?” he asked hoarsely.
“No.” She bit her lips, and her thoughts suddenly became very clear. “I trust you, but… I can’t not worry about anything. I grew up alone, and no one took care of me or protected me, so it’s an instinct. I can’t control myself. Sometimes, I feel that you love and protect me too much, so much that I can’t handle it. But every time I think about it, I feel guilty. I don’t think I deserve your love. If you married someone else, like Ling Yutong, there wouldn’t be such a problem between the two of you.”
The man’s eyes were bloodshot.
“Ye Shengge.” His voice was hoarse. “Are you saying I suffocated you?”
She blinked and thought for a while. “No, I don’t deserve it.”
“It’s not that you don’t deserve it. It’s my fault.” The man kissed her eyes. “I’ve been forcing you to fall in love with me, forcing you to be completely devoted to me, and even forcing you to give up yourself… No wonder you can’t handle it.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “It’s not your fault.”
Ji Shiting swallowed hard and said, “It’s my fault. I’m too conceited and selfish. I’ve been forcing you to tell me everything, but I refused to tell you anything.”
“No, no.” She shook her head.
“Ye Shengge, you’re being too harsh on yourself.” He pinched her face. “You always push the blame to yourself. Do you think I’ve always been the one paying? No, I’ve always been asking for it. You dumb woman.”
She said, “I’m not dumb.”
“Yes, you aren’t.” The man hugged her tighter. “That’s why you decided to leave me. You’re right.”
Ye Shengge was confused as she didn’t understand why he said that.
“Ye Shengge.” The man called her name. “Do you still love me?”
“Mm.” She nodded without hesitation and mumbled, “Actually, I want you to wait for me until I cure my illness, but I don’t know how long it’ll take… I can’t ask you to do that. That’s too selfish.”
“I’ll wait for you even if you don’t ask for anything,” Ji Shiting said. “We still have a lot of time.”
“No, don’t wait.” She suddenly started to panic.
“Do you really think I want to wait for you?” He smiled. “But I’ve given you all my feelings, and I can’t take them back anymore.”
Ye Shengge finally dropped the glass on the bed. She looked up and said, “Why? Am I really worth it?”
“I don’t know.” Ji Shiting combed her hair. “But that’s not important.”
She moved her lips and buried her face in his chest.
“I’ve been thinking about it these past three months. I have to try my best to cure myself as soon as possible, otherwise Shiting won’t wait for me,” she said. “I’m still thinking that if I get better and you’re not married, I’ll… I’ll seduce you and give birth to your baby secretly.”
She burped and giggled.
“Seduce me.” His voice became hoarse. “How?”
She looked up and tried to kiss him, but her teeth knocked against the man’s chin.
“This… This kind of seduction…”