Konoha: The Thirty-Year-Old Uchiha Can’t Be Bothered Chapter 319

Beneath the helmet, Kakuzu cast a sidelong glance at the three captured brats. He'd heard their whole conversation just now. This rogue had guts—too much guts.

Messing with Senju Tobirama's disciples? You've got a death wish. That's Hashirama's little brother, you fool.

"Kamihiko. Let's change places."

Wary of accidentally harming Tobirama's students in battle, Kakuzu tilted his head, motioning toward an open clearing.

"Ridiculous! Take this!"

There was no way Kamihiko would listen to some bounty hunter who came for his head. His face darkened as he surged forward, palms flashing.

"Happou Shou (Breaking Palm)!"

But Kakuzu was no ordinary shinobi anymore. As a Bijuu Knight, he stood on a plane beyond reach. He didn't even bother defending, standing there wide open, waiting.

"Hmph!"

Being treated so lightly, Kamihiko snarled, his palms driving harder, striking at deadly angles. If they landed, Kakuzu should be half-dead.

"Careful!!"

The three kids gasped, their hearts lurching. To their eyes, the silver knight radiated justice—surely he was on their side.

"Shine!"

"Boom!"

Kamihiko's hands slammed into Kakuzu's chest and ribs. For a heartbeat, Kamihiko's eyes flickered with doubt. Why isn't he dodging?

The Happou Shou was Grass' proudest secret art—ever-changing, flowing yet lethal. It had carried him to the rank of elite captain. Yet—

"…Are you finished?"

Kakuzu looked down calmly at the hands pressing his armor. The knight's plating had absorbed everything. Not a ripple touched his body. For all the world, it was as if Kamihiko had faked the attack.

"Shhh~"

Alarmed, Kamihiko jerked back, retreating several steps. His palms throbbed red, his mind reeling. I hit him clean… so why no effect?!

"…What the hell are you?"

Now serious, Kamihiko steadied himself, brow furrowed.

"I already told you. My code name… is Ken."

Kakuzu crouched low, sword raised vertically, answering flatly.

"Don't play dumb!! Who are you really?!"

Veins popped on Kamihiko's forehead.

"…I'm…"

Kakuzu faltered, strangely tongue-tied. The question sounded like some strange formula. Then, guided by some cosmic will, he struck a pose and declared:

"I'm just a passing Bijuu Knight!"

"…Bijuu Knight?"

The words meant nothing to Kamihiko. He turned to the three brats, seeking answers.

"Eh? We dunno either!"

Hiruzen and the others shook their heads furiously, eyes still glittering with awe.

Of course they didn't know. The other great nations had kept Bijuu Knight powers secret until they mastered control. And Konoha, without a Bijuu of its own, sealed all information away. To the outside world, the term had never spread.

"So that's a Bijuu Knight, huh?"

From his vantage point, Madara's ears perked up. Only now did he realize—this showy armored man was exactly what his cousin had described.

"This chakra… the Seven-Tails."

Having faced all the Bijuu except the One-Tail, Madara's scarlet eyes probed carefully, confirming.

"…Not bad."

During the old Bijuu Pokémon wars, the Seven-Tails had been unimpressive—losing outright to the Three-Tails, who had fewer tails. Aside from looking flashy, it had little value in his eyes. But this… this knightly form radiated far more pressure.

"Now I'm curious what the Nine-Tails Knight will look like."

His gaze lingered on the silver armor, a spark of anticipation stirring.

"Enough talk. Kamihiko. Surrender."

Kakuzu was here for money, not speeches.

"Idiot!"

Kamihiko spat. If he were the type to surrender, he'd never have betrayed the elders for Mako's sake. Even if this "knight" was overwhelming, his fighting spirit burned.

"Katon: Oni Tourou (Fire Style: Demon Lantern)!"

Hand seals blurred. Ghostly fire-heads erupted, swarming toward Kakuzu, heat searing even the children's throats.

Kakuzu said nothing. His blade danced.

"Boom! Boom!"

Each flaming skull was sliced apart, fire scattering into sparks. In the dark night, the embers swirled like cherry blossoms, breathtaking.

"So cool!!"

The three brats forgot their dire straits, eyes glued to the dazzling knight.

Born… to shine… Sasuke thought in the dirt.

But Kakuzu didn't pause to pose. Style was nothing without profit. He pressed on, sword darting for Kamihiko's wrists, aiming to cripple.

"Clang!"

Kamihiko barely drew his battered blade, meeting the strike. The force nearly tore it from his grip.

"Clang! Clang!"

Several exchanges later, Kakuzu's brows rose. This rogue actually had mastery in kenjutsu. Without the knight's power, Kakuzu might've lost.

But as his blows quickened, Kamihiko faltered. Each strike shook his blood.

"Crack!"

At last, his steel blade gave way, snapping under the chakra-forged short sword. Kamihiko was flung back, crashing down beside Mako.

"…Eat Kamihiko."

Drawn by the scent of strong prey, Mako's crimson eyes fixed on Kakuzu.

"I haven't lost!" Kamihiko staggered up, bones screaming from the blow.

"You're not on the bounty list, woman. I don't need to fight you."

Kakuzu frowned. He could feel the strange turmoil boiling inside her. A dangerous opponent—with no profit. No thanks.

"Eat… eat…"

But Mako cared nothing for his words. Hunger drove her on. Black mist swirled as she vanished.

"Clang!!"

Her pale hand seized his blade, smoke hissing from her palm under Bijuu chakra. Kakuzu yanked free, booting her away.

"What…?"

He raised his sword, aghast. Black corrosion crept along its edge, impossible to scrub away.

"Be careful," murmured Choumei gravely inside him.

"…You know this woman?" Kakuzu asked sharply.

"…Wasn't it sealed? That… can't be…"

Choumei muttered, deeply unsettled.

"What is she?"

"Her name… is Go. The malice sealed inside the Box of Bliss."

"…Go?"

"Troublesome stuff. World-ending, if loose. Luckily, it's caged in that body. For now."

Even Kakuzu blinked. The Box was ancient history. Few alive even knew it.

"…Can we kill her?"

"My advice? Run. Don't even try. Forget your bounty."

"…That's 35 million ryō."

The thought burned. That was no small sum.

"You fool! You'll die for your greed!"

Choumei raged. Over their time together, it had come to know him well. This man didn't drink, didn't dress fancy, ate dry biscuits, slept in temples or ruins. If not for his obsession with money, he could've been a monk.

"…Fine."

Reluctantly, Kakuzu admitted defeat.

But then—

"Please, mister… can you save my father?"

A trembling voice pulled him from thought. Hiruzen stood, desperate eyes fixed on him.

"…That's your father?" Kakuzu glanced at the broken Sasuke.

"Yes! Please!" Hiruzen bowed, frantic.

"I refuse."

The words came cold, immediate. Kakuzu didn't work for free.

"…Eh?"

Hiruzen froze.

"You're… not a hero?"

"Brat, trying to guilt-trip me with morality? You'll grow up to be a fake saint." Kakuzu snorted.

He turned away.

"Eat!"

Mako lunged again. Kakuzu cut the children loose with one sweep. He'd draw her away as a favor to Hashirama—for not killing him years ago.

But Hiruzen clutched his pack. "I have ten thousand ryō!"

"…Not enough." Kakuzu's fingers twitched. Robbing kids was low… but still. Ten thousand was worth a genin, not his father.

"Danzo!"

"…Sorry, Monkey… you know I'm broke." Danzo's eyes fell. A seed of greed sprouted quietly in his heart.

"Kagami!"

Kagami's gaze was steady. "…Can you guarantee you'll save him?"

"…Hah? Brat, your tone pisses me off!"

"Can you?"

"…Tch. With enough money, I'd fight even the Sage of Six Paths."

In the Pure Land—

"Ow!!" Hagoromo yelped as his massage chair jolted wildly. He scowled toward the moon. Hamura, you bastard…!

Meanwhile, back in the street—

"Clang!"

A golden brick hit the ground. Kakuzu's eyes bulged.

A ten-year-old pulling a gold bar from his bag?!

"Not enough?"

Kagami frowned, pulling out another.

"Clang!"

And another.

"Clang!"

"Clang!"

"…Clang!"

By the time a wall of gold bricks towered before him, Kakuzu was trembling. If this was a dream, let him never wake.

"You… how much do you even have?! Give me a number!!"

Even Danzo wept at the sight, muttering with envy.

Kakuzu coughed, forcing composure. "Brat. Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Uchiha Kagami. Just an ordinary Uchiha."

"…Uchiha?"

The name froze Kakuzu. Not some noble's spoiled heir—an Uchiha.

"Don't! That's Indra's line. Take his money and you'll get hunted down by a Gundam!" Choumei panicked.

"…This money legit?" Kakuzu asked, ignoring the beast.

"Legit. It's my New Year's money." Kagami nodded earnestly.

"…New Year's money? How old are you?"

No kid got gifts like this unless they were royalty.

Scratching his curls, Kagami answered oddly, "My uncle said—New Year's money has to be heavy. If it isn't, it won't suppress bad luck. I might die young."

(End of Chapter)

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