"Oh my God! Time flies so fast—Matthew and Lily are actually engaged!"
Ted looked at Matthew and Lily, who were all over each other, feeling both touched and impulsive. "I've made up my mind!"
Adam and Barney shouted in unison.
"Well, well, great minds think alike," Barney said smugly, glancing at Adam with a look of mutual understanding.
"I haven't even said anything yet, and you're already shutting me down?" Ted protested.
"Don't tell me you don't know why Barney loves going to weddings so much?" Adam asked.
"To hit on bridesmaids," Ted replied, confused. "But what does that have to do with rejecting my decision before I even say it?"
"It has everything to do with it."
Adam teased, "At weddings, bridesmaids are easily influenced by the romantic atmosphere, making them easy prey for Barney. And right now, the romance of Matthew and Lily's engagement is affecting you too, so whatever you're about to decide—don't!"
Barney, far from feeling ashamed, nodded in agreement with a proud smile.
"Are you comparing me to a bridesmaid?" Ted twitched the corner of his mouth.
"Oh, Ted, when it comes to romance and sentimentality, you're no different from a bridesmaid. In fact, you're probably one of the best among them, which means you're even more susceptible to being influenced."
Adam spoke seriously. "If you don't believe me, ask Lily and Matthew."
Ted glanced at Lily, who tilted her head with a knowing smile. Then he looked at Matthew, who simply shrugged with a grin. In disbelief, he exclaimed, "I can't believe this is how you see me!"
"Being romantic and sentimental isn't a bad thing—it's one of your strengths," Lily explained. "Compared to emotionally distant guys, many women dream of someone like you."
"Not just women," Adam teased.
"Well said! High five!"
Barney laughed and held out his palm for Adam.
Seeing Barney's enthusiasm—and knowing that he had been behaving himself lately, at least not deliberately twisting Adam's words for mischief—Adam chuckled and gave him a high five.
"Hey, buddy, what decision were you about to make?"
Matthew, being Ted's best friend, noticed his mood and asked with concern.
"Now that you and Lily are engaged, it's no longer 'Matthew, Lily, and me'—it's 'Matthew and Lily… and me.'"
Ted shot a grateful look at his best friend. At least he cares about me. His earlier thoughts resurfaced, and he declared, "I'm tired of living . I'm going to start looking for my soulmate!"
The way he paused while speaking made a world of difference in the meaning.
Barney immediately exploded. "Ted's lost his mind—someone call 911!"
"See? Classic bridesmaid impulse," Adam said with a shrug.
"Ted, no matter what, the three of us will always be 'Matthew, Lily, and Ted.' That'll never change," Matthew reassured him.
"I know," Ted said, not entirely convincingly. "I just don't want your future kids calling me 'Uncle Ted, the lifelong bachelor.'"
"I don't think you're ready yet. You should stick with Barney for a few more years," Adam suggested.
Barney dramatically grabbed Adam's hand, pretending to be deeply moved.
"I am ready!" Ted argued.
"Sure, you're ready—to hurt good women."
Adam scoffed, "If you go out with this mindset, you'll start meeting great women instead of the usual mix of mostly bad ones. But can you guarantee that once you spark their hopes for love and marriage, your feelings won't suddenly change? More likely, they'll fall for you, and you'll realize you're not feeling it anymore—then you'll bail."
Ted hesitated, then awkwardly laughed. "But that's how dating works! You don't just find 'the one' on the first try." Thɪs chapter is updated by novel·fıre·net
"Casual dating is fine. Even Barney's full-fledged womanizing isn't a problem," Adam said with a smirk. "At least everyone involved knows it's just for fun—nothing serious.
"But you? You're planning to search for 'true love' with the goal of marriage. That means you'll attract women who also have that goal.
"If you suddenly lose interest and leave them heartbroken… that's next-level douchebaggery. Way worse than Barney. Are you sure you want to do that?"
Barney straightened his tie and proudly declared, "No one out-douches Barney Stinson!"
Ted was speechless. The emotional high from Matthew and Lily's engagement had faded significantly.
At his core, he still had morals.
If no one pointed out his behavior—or kept calling him out on it—he might have just blissfully ignored how much of a player he really was.
But once someone broke it down … he couldn't pretend he wasn't aware anymore.
"Looks like you do have some self-awareness," Adam said with a smile. "That's good. Hold onto that feeling. Stick with Barney for a few more years, and once you're truly tired of playing around, then start thinking about true love."
Adam remembered watching How I Met Your Mother in his past life. He still vividly recalled the scene where Ted broke up with his girlfriend on her birthday—through a voicemail.
The worst part? She was at home, surrounded by family and friends waiting to surprise her for her birthday.
Everyone crouched down, listening as Ted's breakup message played. No one knew what to do when she walked in with a huge smile, expecting a surprise party…
And that was just one of Ted's many horrible moments.
What made it worse was that, after being emotionally rattled by Matthew and Lily's engagement, Ted decided she was "the one" after all—and chased her down to get back together.
His grand romantic gestures worked, and she gave him another chance.
Then, just a few weeks later, his feelings faded again.
Right when she had finally healed from their first breakup and begun to believe in love again—Ted dumped her again.
This time, though, he had matured.
He didn't break up with her over voicemail.
He waited until her birthday party to do it in person.
Fortunately, she had spent those years learning Krav Maga.
In her rage, she gave Ted a hands-on lesson in why Krav Maga is not just yoga—it's an Israeli military close-combat technique.
And that was just one example of Ted's long history of being the King of Douchebags.
"Listen to him," Barney said, throwing an arm around Ted. "This guy's a doctor!"
"To Matthew and Lily!"
Adam raised his glass. "Cheers!"
Ted sighed but ultimately joined in, clinking glasses with everyone.
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