Finally, the village came into view. It was still standing, thank the gods, though I couldn't shake the feeling something had gone horribly wrong.
Call it instinct or just "years" of experience dealing with monsters like Scarface and Gorn.
The moment I stumbled through the gates, exhaustion dragging at my every step, I was greeted by Scarface.
His wide, toothy grin stretched from ear to ear—a grin that immediately set off every alarm bell in my head.
"Welcome back, runt! You look like you got chewed up and spit out by a wyvern!" he said, his tone somehow managing to be both amused and mildly concerned.
"Long story," I muttered, dumping the sack of supplies I'd bartered for at his feet. "Here's the food, some weapons, and a few extras. The armor's still being made, so we'll have to go back for it later."
Before Scarface could reply, Gorn appeared beside him, practically vibrating with excitement. How he managed to sneak up on me every time, I would never know.
"Ooh! More villages to visit? More chaos to cause?" the goblin scout asked, his eyes gleaming.
"Sure, let's call it that," I sighed. "Did anything happen while I was gone?"
"Yep!" Scarface chirped. "But we'll talk later. For now, let me show you your new house!"
I blinked. "Wait. New house?"
"Yeah, we finished it! Come on, you're gonna love it!" Gorn said, practically dragging me.
---
To my surprise, the structure was... decent. It was solid, sturdy, and not even a little on fire—a significant improvement over their usual projects. But as I scanned the materials, I noticed some wood and stone that definitely didn't belong to us.
Suspicion flickered in the back of my mind, but it vanished as soon as I spotted the bed. A real bed. With a mattress.
Sleep first. Questions later.
I barely made it to the mattress before collapsing face-first into it. Sweet, sweet unconsciousness, here I come.
---
When I woke up the next morning, my first thought was that I needed to fire whoever let the sun exist. My second thought was, Status report.
"Scarface!" I barked, rubbing sleep from my eyes.
The ogre lumbered in, grinning like a child who had just eaten the last cookie. "Morning, boss! You sleep good?"
"I did, thanks. Now spill. What happened while I was out?"
Scarface puffed up his chest like a soldier preparing to deliver a victory speech. "So, uh, some humans came by. Merchant group—five of them. All women. One of the women was the merchant in charge. We, uh, negotiated with them."
I narrowed my eyes. "Negotiated? Peacefully?"
"Yep! Followed your advice: talk first, smash later!"
Okay, unexpected, but not bad. "Good. What did you trade for?"
Scarface hesitated, scratching the back of his head. "Uh... some mushrooms... and your shiny rocks."
My stomach dropped. "What shiny rocks?"
"The ones under your bed. The Imps found them. The merchant really liked them, so—"
...."You WHAT?!" I leapt to my feet so fast I nearly tripped over the bed.
Shoving it aside, I frantically searched the space beneath. Nothing. The relics were gone. My priceless, irreplaceable relics—.
Scarface took a cautious step back. "Hey, we didn't know they were important! They were shiny, so we figured—"
"Stop talking before I trade you next," I snarled.
"Urk-, but, uh, hey atleast we still got this right?" He said as he showed me the Ogre relic!
---
After the initial yelling subsided (and after I hurled a few mushrooms at Scarface for good measure), I sat down to assess the damage.
"Okay," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. "What did you get in return for the relics?"
"Oh, lots of stuff!" Scarface perked up. "Building materials, some shiny human tools, extra weapons—"
"You traded priceless treasures that could've evolved you morons for sticks and rocks?" I deadpanned.
"They're nice sticks and rocks," he said defensively.
I resisted the urge to scream. Barely. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Those relics weren't just trinkets. They could've changed everything for us! They were tied to monster evolution, for goodness sake!" （〇_ｏ）
Scarface shrugged. "Well, when you put it like that—"
"Scarface." My voice was calm. Too calm. "Finish that sentence, and I swear I'll ship you to the merchants as our next trade item."
He wisely shut his mouth. I won't do that anyway.
---
Finally calming down. Again. I analyzed the real problem right now.
The merchants were coming back in a few days. That meant, either a hunting party will come with them or something else.
Scarface, ever the optimist, tried to lighten the mood. "Hey, maybe the relics weren't that important. I mean, you would've already used it, right?"
I glared at him so hard he actually flinched.
"I would've if I KNEW!" Seriously, do these guys not see the problem?!
As I mulled over my next move, Scarface suddenly spoke again.
"Hey, boss?"
"What?" I snapped.
"You, uh, left another shiny rock under your pillow. Should I—"
I didn't let him finish. The nearest mushroom flew across the room, smacking him square in the face.